Today in summer school I am teaching Romeo and Juliet to a group of teenage girls.  My presentation is not the romantic drivel most of them have heard before.  We examine the play through different lenses and it becomes a fabulous cautionary tale.  Each scene is analyzed for thinking errors on the part of the characters:  Romeo’s impulsivity, all-or-nothing thinking, keeping score, and catastrophising; Tybalt’s overgeneralizations, one-upmanship, and uniqueness (thinking he is better than everyone else); Friar Lawrence’s magical thinking, grandiosity, sneakiness; etc.

The girls open to a whole new perspective when looking at these characters’ flaws and seeing their own behaviors in comparison.  This is a school in a residential treatment center, so the young ladies I am working with have seen some stuff in their lifetimes.  Many of them have attempted suicide (often over a lost love), have run away from their parents or their problems, have had numerous sexual encounters in over their heads and unprepared for the emotional fall-out at such a young age, and have been betrayed or misled by the adults in their lives who should have been better role models.

My favorite discussions with them involve re-imagining the scenes using healthy thinking, coping skills, support from trusted people, accessing available resources, etc.  If just one person had done something different in this play, something productive, something thoughtful and helpful, it might not have ended in such tragedy.  There are always more options.  “To be or not to be” (to quote Hamlet) could be a much longer list.  To be healthy, to be at peace, to understand, to be open…not to be afraid, not to be alone, not to be abused, not to be so hard on yourself.

Juliet was 13 for goodness sake.  So much more happens in life after 13.  I’m in my 40’s, have been through a marriage, divorce, children, grandchildren, and have just now found my Romeo. Building a good life takes time, learning from experiences, and resilience.  I wish for each of my students today a new critical perspective that makes each of them a “master of her own fate.” *

*from Invictus by William Ernest Henley

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#from Gnomeo & Juliet (Juliet kicking ass)