Category Archives: Longform

Portfolio pieces including research, analysis, literary journalism, screenwriting, and longer works of a more academic nature.

Fiction, Longform, Writing

Silent Romance (A Short Story)

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Image created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompt using AI on Gencraft.

Silence has become the standard by which I judge all things. People who talk too much or too loudly, chew food in a way that amplifies the crunch, have loud ringers on their phones, or wear hard soled shoes that clomp across the floor…well, let’s just say I don’t let them into my inner circle. So, when a mewling kitten showed up in the drainage ditch near my house, I was reluctant to take it in. The incessant screeching forced me to rescue it, if for no other reason than to try to stop the sound.

She needed to be bottle fed, not an easy feat for a person with no sense of time. I am a book scout and read all day for a living. I will sometimes read for six or seven hours straight if I’ve got enough material, only taking quick restroom breaks and snacking while I read. I set alarms for my alarms because I also sometimes fall asleep while I read, my brain giving out without notice. And they aren’t supposed to be held like human babies. They have to be on their bellies and knead something like they would on their mother’s teat. I look all of this up so I would do it right, including stimulating her anus with a wet cotton swab to imitate the attentions her mother would naturally provide.

Phoebe is an ugly kitten. Her face is squished, not in a cute way; what little hair she has is a non-descript greyish-brown. Her mother probably abandoned her because her front paws have something wrong with them. The four fingers and one thumb on each seem to be fused together and the paws twist inward slightly. Even worse, she’s loud. Her back paws seem fine.    

My small rental is situated on a cul-de-sac near an elementary school. The plan is to advertise as close to the school as I can once Phoebe is old enough to wean. Children are suckers and their parents are even worse. A disabled kitty will have a home in no time. I just have to make it another month.

We’ve settled into a routine, Phoebe and I. She cries, I respond to stop the horrific noise with whatever I think she needs most right then, she falls asleep, and I get some work done. The longest stretch of silence we have achieved is 2 hours. In all honesty, it might have gone longer, but I got worried and jiggled her to make sure she was alive. She awoke with a vengeance and ate until her belly nearly burst.

It’s a ridiculously silly comparison, I know, but this experience has made me appreciate my mother more. When I was born, she had no one to help her and worked long hours to provide for us. My stepdad came into the picture when I was nine, but for years it was just us. All on her own, she kept me alive – the nighttime feedings and diaper changes, the cooking and cleaning. The woman deserves an award. I can’t wait until this kitten can eat solid food and I can find her a home. I’m worn out.

She likes to sleep in the hood of my hoodie and makes a great neck warmer. It gets chilly in the alcove where I like to work, looking out at a pecan tree growing in the neighbor’s yard. The branches hang down over the privacy fence that connects our back yards and pecans spill onto my property. I don’t mind at all because I take them all every year and make pecan pies for the holidays. This year I’m planning to make praline. Last year some of the pies went to waste because I have no one to share them with other than my parents.

I decide to take a walk to the mailbox at the end of my street with Phoebe curled up in my hood. Movement doesn’t seem to wake her, only hunger, but it is about time for a feeding and she has begun to wiggle and squeak. On the way back home, she begins climbing the cloth of her makeshift bed with her tiny claws and I fear she might fall out of my hood. In my haste to grab her I drop my mail rather dramatically. A man raking leaves in his yard stops mid-rake and waves; I pretend not to notice, busy with my mail. He doesn’t take the hint and assumes my lack of eye-contact requires a verbal interaction.

“Hey!” he says, tilting the rake he is holding away from himself and adjusting his baseball cap with his free hand. He could be on the cover of a men’s health or fitness magazine. His every movement draws my eyes, the unabashed grin demanding my attention. I stop, say hello, and even force a smile. He seems genuine in his attempt to be friendly, but as he starts to walk toward me a compulsion to bolt wells up. I squelch it because he is really cute.

“Can I see?” His hazel eyes light up and the corners crinkle the way I find sexy in men of that age. I am confused for a second, but then realize he is talking about Phoebe. He gathers all of my mail for me. I find gentlemanly manners quite sexy, as well.

“My turn,” he says, and offers a trade, the mail for the kitten. A wave of overprotective fear grips me. No one else can hold my baby kitten. He might not do it right. What if he drops her? I push back the irrational panic and gently place Phoebe in his big hand. She looks so vulnerable it makes me want to cry.

We chat amiably about kittens and how much work they are. He tells me he is new to the area, having moved here to be closer to his 11-year-old daughter and in a home where he can have her over every other weekend. I can see I may have found a home for Phoebe already.

I warm up a little and decide to offer some neighborly advice. “If you’ve never eaten at the Thai restaurant on Main, you have to check it out. Their lunch specials are really cheap and the food is authentic.”

“I love Thai,” he says. “How about tomorrow at noon?”

I smile and nod, then realize he is asking me to join him and I freeze. I guess I started it. I might have even sounded like I was angling for a date. “I wasn’t trying to ask you out,” I fumble. “I was just trying to tell you about some good places around here.”

“I know,” he says, the twinkle in his eye giving away amusement at my back peddling. 

I decide to be brave. It’s just lunch.

*************************************

Styling my shoulder-length thick brown hair into some semblance of order proves impossible. A messy bun with a few loose curls hanging here and there will have to do. Phoebe is wiggling around in the bathroom sink where she was curled up in a hand towel sleeping only a moment ago. I imagine she can sense my excitement and is nervous about being left home alone. I begin to worry that this was a bad idea. What if she cries so hard that she stops breathing and dies? What if, in her panic, she escapes her box and gets trapped inside the couch and can’t be rescued? I almost cancel my lunch date, then scoop Phoebe into a snuggle, willing myself some of her spunky courage. She is my little good luck charm. She begins to scream because she’s learned that is what gets her a bottle. I sigh and roll my eyes, knowing her pathetic cries are fake.

“Little drama queen, I already fed you,” I tease before putting her into the box on the bathroom floor. I check my mascara in the mirror, take a deep breath, and head out. When I am almost to the front door, her cries intensify and I run back to the bathroom. I decide to set the box in the bathtub as an added safety measure.

***************************************

Phoebe stretches out between us, one paw across Mitchell’s forehead. Her intermittent purring blends with Mitchell’s rhythmic soft snore, but all I hear is silence. My sweet lover bought me custom molded shooting earplugs that hunters use to block out the loud sounds of weapons blasting next to ears.

I moved into his place because it made sense, but we brought most of my furniture because his consisted of bean bags and futons. His back yard has a wide oak that shades the patio and there is a pecan tree in the front. He loves to work outside and keeps the lawn pristine. I hate the sound of the lawn mower revving up, knowing I’ll have to put in my earplugs to get any of my own work done. I do occasionally miss the silence of my manless sanctuary, but then I take in the stunning view – not of the trees, of him muscling things into place along the fence or digging a hole for who-knows-what-reason men dig holes. And for the adorable way he clangs and bangs and slams tools around outside, then slips off his boots at the door and wears socks in the house so I don’t hear footfalls.

Things are a little more raucous when Mitchell’s daughter comes over for a weekend, but I’ve found I can tolerate joyful exuberance more than I realized. And it is worth it to see how happy it makes Mitchell when she’s sprawled on our couch watching movies with us while scrolling through her phone. They make fun of me by doing fake sign language and whispering dramatically when I’m in the room. When they are at work and school and I have the house to myself, I revel in the quiet – absolute peace for me to dig into my books.

I obviously never tried to find Phoebe another home. After a few months of never leaving my side, I couldn’t bear to part with her. She nestled her way right into my heart. And the only time she puts up a fuss is when I am taking too long to feed her and she thinks I deserve a scolding. She walks just fine, though her paws curve in, so she looks a little like she’s walking on the wrists of her front legs. She doesn’t climb well, but can jump really high because her back legs are quite powerful. She rarely needs help doing anything. She likes to curl up on my lap, and every once in a while, when I’ve had my fill of silence, I’ll take out my ear plugs and listen to her purr while I read.

Writing, Longform

Don DeLillo’s White Noise: Marxist & Deconstructionist Analysis

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The human condition is filled with confusion, dread of impending death, and a yearning for a sense of peace to cope with the uncertainty. One author who has taken a stark look at these topics is Don DeLillo in his novel White Noise. When examined through both Marxist and Deconstructionist theoretical lenses, clear patterns emerge that reveal people caught in a cycle of consumerism and turning to technology for spiritual experience. One aspect of the Marxist concept of alienation applies to this novel because it considers the way in which people cannot live their best lives; they must spend all their time working to make money to buy things and then work more to continue the cycle. Another Marxist concept observed in White Noise is fetishism of commodities as pertains to equating objects with inherent value.

One deconstructionist concept that threads its way throughout the novel is hyperreality. Technology has become so interwoven into people’s lives, that symbols and representations of things are indistinguishable from the actual things themselves; technology can create spiritual connections that defy reason. Another deconstructionist idea is that of ambiguity or the impossibility of finding a definitive meaning through language. White Noise demonstrates that the disquiet caused by humanity’s fear of mortality can be comforted by participating in the cycle of consumerism, allowing objects to make us whole, experiencing the sublime using technology, and making peace with the random white noise inherent in existence.

For the characters in White Noise, consumerism is a panacea for both socioeconomic and existential angst. Purchases must occur as one of the economic functions necessary to perpetuate the cycle of consumerism. The Gladneys use the experience of shopping routinely throughout the novel to placate themselves. For example, in one passage of the book Jack decides to shop, and his family is enthused by his sudden interest. Jack says, “When I could not decide between two shirts they encouraged me to buy both. When I said I was hungry, they fed me pretzels…My family gloried in the event…” (DeLillo 3-4). Jack’s family enjoys using his purchasing power to meet each and every need or desire that arises. They revel in the experience of being consumers and helping Jack along in the process. The entire family seems to participate in the shopping experience each time they go to the supermarket, as well. “We moved together…Wilder sat in the shopping cart trying to grab items off the shelves…Steffie took my hand…” (DeLillo 35-36). They hold hands, stick together, and spend time as a family. Even the youngest child grabs items that interest him and adds them to the cart. Alienation (according to Marxism) has created a situation where families must carve out time together any way they can because work for survival has taken such a large chunk of time out of every day. One way the Gladneys have found time for each other is to shop together. They can purchase the items they need and spend time together in the process. This comforts them and helps them to bond.

Tom LeClair discusses this concept of using consumerism as a way to manage fear and comfort themselves in the face of uncertainty. It is a way for the Gladneys to enjoy time together in the outside world, but it is also a form of a sedative to dull their senses so they are not thinking about their real fears, including death (LeClair 394-395). The supermarket is also one of the spaces where Murray interacts with Jack; it is where Jack seems most susceptible to Murray’s suggestions. “This place recharges us spiritually…Here we don’t die, we shop” (DeLillo 37-38). There is a clear pattern in the novel of Murray’s ideas becoming Jack’s reality. In this instance, Murray’s ideas about shopping as a safe space where death is kept at bay seem to become a part of Jack’s way of thinking (Duvall 447). If shopping is a way to delay death, then more shopping will occur the more death is contemplated or feared. The experience of purchasing here is being used as a comfort when faced with the finality of mortality.

In order to create a continuation of the consumer cycle, there must be a phase of discarding old goods to make room for new goods. As Jack’s anxiety about death grows, he begins throwing away old possessions that he no longer thinks he needs. He says, “I threw away fishing lures, dead tennis balls, torn luggage…flinging things into cardboard boxes” (DeLillo 262). Ironically, his sense of security is always increased by having the resources to buy more and using his income to purchase whatever he wants.  In another passage of the novel where he is throwing away random items, his musings end with more buying potential arriving in the mail. “I was…discarding used bars of soap, damp towels…In several days, your new automated banking card will arrive…” (DeLillo 294). The entire process is a never-ending loop of consumerism. Jack makes room for more goods by throwing away old ones. In the process he finds the bank card he will use to purchase more goods. LeClair points out that when Jack is getting more fearful about dying, he goes on sprees “throwing objects away, trying to ‘say goodbye to himself’” (DeLillo 294). When he checks his bank balance by moving through a complicated set of electronic instructions, Jack says, “The system had blessed my life” (LeClair 395). He is even alienated from his own money by a system in place to provide buying power via electronic means. Though he has done work to earn the money, he must use a card sent to him in the mail to access that money to purchase the goods that will provide him the comfort from having to do the work that earned the money in the first place. The cycle is constant and unending.  

Fetishism of commodities also drives the need for more purchases in the novel. Adam Szetela addresses the phenomenon of commodity fetishism and explains how it connects to human psychology. “’The commodity image-system… provides…a vision of the world…self-validation that is…what one has rather than what one is (Jhally)’…a person ceases to be when they cease to have” (Szetela). Jack considers certain objects to be of weighty importance, like his glasses that are part of his persona as a professor. He doesn’t actually need them to see, but they make him look more professorial. “…I wore an academic gown and dark glasses day and night when I was on campus…” (DeLillo 32).  If anything, dark glasses that he does not need would be a hindrance at night, but he wears them anyway because they make him feel more like a professor. They cover up his insecurities. Because Jack sees some objects as characteristics of a person rather than simply items one owns, he is embarrassed when a coworker sees him in a store and says he looks totally different. “You look different without your glasses and gown…A big, harmless, aging, indistinct sort of guy” (DeLillo 82-82). He immediately has to go buy items to “reestablish his identity” (Szetela). If he does not have his costume on and is not viewed as a professor, perhaps Jack does not know who he is. If he does not know who he is, he must purchase other items to try and determine his reality.

This same fetishism of commodities is apparent in the Gladney children, as well. For example, when “Denise was wearing a green visor…Something about the visor seemed to speak to her, to offer wholeness and identity” (DeLillo 37). Objects can make people feel whole and help them to create an identity. Denise wears this item everywhere she goes and does not feel right without it. It temporarily becomes a part of her, an extension of or representation of her reality. Jack understands this and is not bothered by Denise’s need to wear the visor everywhere she goes. Toward the end of the novel when Jack contemplates murder as a means to extend his own life, he begins to cling to his new object of choice, a weapon. “I started carrying my Zumwalt automatic to school…The gun created a second reality…” (DeLillo 297). The object becomes a new piece of his secret identity. He is considering murder and carrying around a gun ensures that future reality will come to pass. If life can be prolonged by another’s death, a gun is a logical security object.

Besides using objects and purchasing power to manage misery, technology increasingly takes a front seat as a primary comfort for the characters. Technology has replaced nature as the source of the sublime. The television is always on in the Gladney’s home and even moves about the house depending on who is claiming ownership at the moment. All important information is gleaned from the device. The spiritual moments in the novel emerge from technology’s ever-present influence on the characters. One moment is when Jack is watching over Steffie sleeping. “Steffie…muttered something in her sleep…words that seemed to have a ritual meaning, part of a verbal spell or ecstatic chant…Toyota Celica” (DeLillo 154-155).

Paul Maltby analyzes the concept of technology as the source of the sublime and calls Jack’s spiritual experiences “visionary moments.” Even in their dreams, children are murmuring prayer-like chants of commercials. “Henceforth, even the most personal visionary experience appears to be constituted by the promotional discourses of a consumer society” (Maltby 500). Jack is desperate for a spiritual encounter of any kind. He is looking for signs everywhere because he is continually in crisis. When he hears magical sounding words spoken aloud by his sleeping daughter, he takes it as something religious, imbued with meaning. In reality, she’s been watching tv and has ads running through her brain even while she’s sleeping. Technology has taken over the dreams of children. In another instance, a sublime encounter occurs when a family member appears disembodied before them on the television. “…they followed my gaze to the…TV…The face on the screen was Babette’s…What did it mean? What was she doing there, in black and white…was this her spirit…” (DeLillo 104). It is a spiritual encounter for all of the family members to see Babette on the screen. The hyperreality created by the image of her, a symbolic representation of their mother/wife is before them in two dimensional moving pictures and they are in awe of the magic of it all. She is not physically present, yet her essence fills the room in a way they do not understand. Thanks to technology, they share in a moment of awe together. It leaves them disoriented and with a feeling of strangeness, much like other forms of spiritual encounters people experience.

Even the machines that manage the characters’ money are imbued with a sense of the divine. After checking his balance at an ATM, Jack has a sublime encounter. “Waves of relief and gratitude flowed over me. The system had blessed my life. I felt its support and approval…What a pleasing interaction…The system was invisible…” (DeLillo 46). Jack experiences a sense of awe, gratitude, and joy at interacting with the machine that can confirm how much money he possesses. It is as though he and the machine have shared communion and are one. His spiritual experience is tied up in systems of technology, labor, and financial security, but he merely recognizes it as a good feeling.

All attempts to purchase, find comfort, and achieve connection with others or a sense of the sublime in the novel are shrouded in the fog of white noise. White noise in the form of random static nonsense is part of the reality in which the characters live and try to create meaning for themselves. Bonca analyzes the concept of white noise as a natural part of human interaction. He says, “White noise is media noise, the techno-static of a consumer culture that penetrates our homes and our minds…” (Bonca 463). White noise in the form of random soundbites from the news, unusual observations by the narrator, annoying arguments from teenagers, siren cries from children, diatribes by coworkers, radio, television, reading aloud, car horns, dog barks, etc. assault the senses and create a backdrop out of input. People have convinced themselves that this is normal and life must consist of stimuli. One passage in the supermarket exemplifies this idea. “I realized the place was awash in noise. The toneless systems…the cries of children. And…under it all, a dull and unlocatable roar, as of some form of swarming life just outside the range of human apprehension” (DeLillo 36). The supermarket is one of the locations where the Gladneys appease their worries. They purchase items and connect with family members while shopping. In this very sanctuary of comfort, white noise is ever present. At the famous “tourist attraction known as the most photographed barn in America” there is white noise in the form of tourists, flashes, cars, signs, and mostly, the clicking of camera shutters. Everywhere the Gladneys go, white noise seems to be present.

Another passage speaks directly to white noise and explains its significance. Jack is speaking to his wife and contemplating the great fear between them, death. “What if death is nothing but sound?” Then a few lines later he says, “Sometimes it sweeps over me…I try to talk to it. ‘Not now, Death’” (DeLillo 198-199). Bonca says that every example of white noise in the book “shares a passion…to bridge the lonely distances…the denial of death, as the evasion of what cannot be evaded” (Bonca 464). If white noise is the nonsensical sounds all around, the constant input from technology, people, and the busy world we inhabit, then white noise represents life. Death would be the absence of those sounds. From a deconstructionist perspective, Babette and Jack have recognized the randomness of death when they equate it to white noise. In attempting to describe death, their words miss the mark and no ultimate meaning can be found. They remain unable to accept their fates as demonstrated by their constant attempts to prolong life via illogical means like harming others, taking dangerous drugs, and purchasing unnecessary goods. To truly make peace with death, the Gladneys must come to understand that it is already a constant they experience every day in the form of the randomness of white noise.

Using the Marxist theoretical lens to analyze White Noise, comfort can be found in life by connecting with family through the shopping experience. Confusion and dread can be calmed with the pocketbook. People can create personas and become whole when chosen objects become a part of their identities. Through the deconstructionist theoretical lens, moments of awe can be experienced through technological “magic” that creates a bond between humanity and machines. There is no ultimate meaning in life, but the novel implies that accepting that reality brings humans one step closer to peace. The need to find meaning is part of the white noise (also known as death) and serves no purpose but to disquiet the soul. Making peace with the random white noise inherent in existence is the same as making peace with the reality of death. Perhaps some who can relate to the themes in White Noise may examine the farcical experiences of the characters and find comfort for their own disquiet.

Works Cited

Bonca, Cornel. “Don DeLillo’s White Noise: The Natural Language of the Species.” College Literature, 00933139, , Vol. 23, Issue 2

California State University, Fullerton. “Biography.” College of Humanities and Social Sciences, Department of English, Comparative Literature, and Linguistics, english.fullerton.edu/faculty/profile/c_bonca.aspx

Curry College. “Employee Directory.” www.curry.edu/directory/szetela-adam#:~:text=Adam%20Szetela%20is%20an%20associate,politics%20in%20the%20United%20States&text=His%20personal%20website%20is%20Adam%2DSzetela.com.

DeLillo, Don. White Noise. Penguin Books, 1998.

Duvall, John. “The (Super)Marketplace of Images: Television as Unmediated Mediation in DeLillo’s White Noise.” White Noise Text and Criticism Edited by Mark Osteen. Penguin Books, 1998.

Dziech, Billie. “Meet…Tom LeClair.” College of Arts and Sciences, University of Cincinnati, 14 June 2004, www.uc.edu/profiles/profile.asp?id=6373

Henneberg, Julian. “’Something Extraordinary Hovering Just Outside Our Touch’: The Technological Sublime in Don DeLillo’s White Noise.” Aspeers, April 2011 p 51-73, 23p

Jhally, Sut. “Image­-Based Culture: Advertising and Popular Culture.” from “The World and I” July 1990, www.worldandilibrary.com

LaFave, Sandra. “The Marxist Critique of Consumer Culture.” 2 October, 2016, https://lafavephilosophy.x10host.com/marxism_and_culture.html#:~:text=As%20we%20have%20seen%20above,economic%20conditions%20have%20never%20existed.

Maltby, Paul. “The Romantic Metaphysics of Don DeLillo.” White Noise Text and Criticism Edited by Mark Osteen. Penguin Books, 1998.

Moffatt, Mike. “White Noise Process Definition – The Significance of White Noise in Economics.” ThoughtCo., 2 April 2018, www.thoughtco.com/white-noise-process-definition1147342#:~:text=White%20Noise%20in%20Economics%20%26%20in,relationship%20with%20any%20other%20phenomenon

Osteen, Mark. “Introduction” to DeLillo, Don. White Noise. Penguin Books, 1998.

“Postmodernism.” Standford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. 5 February, 2015, https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/postmodernism/#6

Rettew, Bill. “WCU Professor is First-Time Playwright.” Daily Local News, 16 Oct 2018, www.dailylocal.com/news/national/wcu-professor-is-first-time-playwright/article_ c43713e5-059c-59ad-abd3-dfd365fb3759.html

Szetela, Adam. “Fetishism and Form: Advertising and Ironic Distance in Don DeLillo’s White Noise.” European Journal of American Studies; London Vol. 13, Iss. 2,  (Summer 2018). DOI:10.4000/ejas.12950

Longform, Writing

Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness: Feminist v. Deconstructionist Analysis

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A feminist v. deconstructionist analysis of Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad reveals differing concepts relevant to the ideologies inherent in the worldview of the author. Because so few women are present in the text, a deconstructionist perspective is the more productive methodology for analysis; however, the few mentions of females exhibit misogynistic leanings.

Marlowe gets desperate for a job fitting his dreams and turns to a woman for help. “Then—would you believe it?—I tried the women. I…set the women to work—to get a job.” His comments reveal that he is ashamed of sinking to the level of someone who would need a woman’s help to procure employment, but her involvement works and successfully lands him the job he desires. He pays her a visit before heading for the jungle and is once again internally demeaning when she says, “You forget, dear Charlie, that the labourer is worthy of his hire.” He thinks, “It’s queer how out of touch with truth women are. They live in a world of their own… It is too beautiful altogether, and if they were to set it up it would go to pieces before the first sunset” (Conrad). Marlowe thinks women are unable to fathom the realities of his hard man’s world and create a nicer imaginary version with which to soothe their fragile nerves.

Kurtz seconds this mentality when he is quoted as saying, “Girl! What? Did I mention a girl? Oh, she is out of it—completely. They—the women, I mean—are out of it—should be out of it. We must help them to stay in that beautiful world of their own, lest ours gets worse” (Conrad). He implies that the separateness of their worlds somehow keeps the men less barbaric than they might become if the women join in on the mayhem, or perhaps holding on to the illusion that women are treasures to strive for helps the men to keep their sights on something more than the horrors of their realities. This form of sex segregation and defense of female virtue is similar to the reasoning that led to lynchings in the American South because white women needed protection (Jordan 568). 

After Kurtz’s death, Marlow speaks to the girl who had to be left “out of it” and a deconstructionist lens shows a binary of illusion/reality. “’Who was not his friend who had heard him speak once?’ she was saying. ‘Yes, I know,’ I said with something like despair in my heart, but bowing my head before the faith that was in her, before that great and saving illusion that shone with an unearthly glow in the darkness…’ ‘And of all this,’ she went on mournfully, ‘of all his promise, and of all his greatness, of his generous mind, of his noble heart, nothing remains—nothing but a memory. You and I—’ ‘We shall always remember him,’ I said hastily” (Conrad). She does not realize the level of absurdity to which her words rise when speaking of Kurtz’s ability to win friends. He inspires devotion through fear and intimidation as far as the natives are concerned. She clings to the illusion that her love was a great man who was noble and generous. The meaning behind Marlowe’s insistence that he will remember Kurtz holds a completely different connotation than the mourner’s illusory memories. She mourns a man she thought she knew or knew when the man was in polite society surrounded by creature comforts and minimal moral dilemmas to face. Marlowe knew the man Kurtz became when thrust into the harsh environs of the jungle, left to discover his basest desires, with no moral arbiter to keep him in check.

A paradox arises from the different realities the two speakers experienced related to Kurtz. It is the dimension Plato invites us to analyze “of a pure becoming without measure, a veritable becoming‐mad, which never rests. It moves in both directions at once. It always eludes the present, causing future and past, more and less, too much and not enough to coincide in the simultaneity of a rebellious matter…The paradox of this pure becoming, with its capacity to elude the present, is the paradox of infinite identity” (Deleuze).  This slippery reality can be traced through every scene in Heart of Darkness.

Works Cited

Conrad, Joseph. Heart of Darkness. The Project Gutenberg EBook. 2 March 2018, www.gutenberg.org/files/219/219-h/219-h.htm

Deleuze, Gilles. “What is Becoming.” Rivkin, Julie; Ryan, Michael. Literary Theory: An Anthology, 3rd edition. Wiley Blackwell.

Jordan, Emma. “Crossing the River of Blood Between Us: Lynching, Violence, Beauty, and the Paradox of Feminist History.” The Journal of Gender, Race & Justice, Georgetown University Law Center, pp.568, January 2010, scholarship.law.georgetown.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1117&context=facpub

Longform, Writing

Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness: Psychoanalytic v. Feminist Reading?

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A psychoanalytic reading of Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness reveals the inner journey of a man immersed in the horrors of human evil. In one scene Marlowe connects with the natives who are fending off a supposed attack by creating a ruckus. “They howled and leaped, and spun, and made horrid faces; but what thrilled you was just the thought of their humanity—like yours—the thought of your remote kinship with this wild and passionate uproar. Ugly. Yes, it was ugly enough; but if you were man enough you would admit to yourself that there was in you just the faintest trace of a response to the terrible frankness of that noise, a dim suspicion of there being a meaning in it which you—you so remote from the night of first ages—could comprehend” (Conrad part II). He admits that somewhere within his subconscious there is a sense of recognition of the self, a primordial collective consciousness (Ivonin). When he realizes that the cannibals in his employ are probably getting hungry, he looks at the people through their eyes. “I perceived—in a new light, as it were—how unwholesome the pilgrims looked, and I hoped, yes, I positively hoped, that my aspect was not so—what shall I say?—so—unappetizing: a touch of fantastic vanity which fitted well with the dream-sensation that pervaded all my days at that time” (Conrad part II). Cannibalism falls into the category of taboos in western culture that may be forbidden partly because “we have a deep and primitive desire to do it” (Schutt). It is interesting that Marlowe is hoping he looks more appetizing, perhaps revealing an inner need to be desired that has not been fulfilled as some sort of displacement mechanism (Freud).

A feminist reading of these same passages reveals completely different possibilities. When Marlowe hears the natives howling in the jungle, he does not even conceive of the fact that women might be a part of that great cacophony. It is a plea from one man to another, a negotiation between men. From Marlowe’s patriarchal perspective, no women would be a part of that age-old discussion because he envisions women on the sidelines in their huts caring for their children. The reality is that any of those cries could be resounding from women or men; he has no way of knowing (Tyson). The “wild and passionate uproar” is as much a female cry as male (Conrad part II). As concerns the cannibals, women are once again left out of the discussion, but Marlowe has been away from any female sexual attention for a long time at this point. Perhaps any attention would be welcome, even from male cannibals. It could be that Marlowe is subconsciously forgetting gender assignments for a moment and thinking simply as a human (Rich). He may not even realize how desperately he wishes for someone to want him in this terrifying jungle.

It seems on a cursory reading that a psychoanalytic reading would reveal the most information because Marlowe is sharing his inner thoughts and opening the door to deep digging into his psyche. There is little mention of women in the piece, so most of the feminist critique will come from a place of absence. However, what little is said of women is prime for analysis because Marlowe’s observations are so clearly dismissive and fearful of women in a way that would be interesting to flay.      

Works Cited

Conrad, Joseph. Heart of Darkness. The Project Gutenberg EBook. 2 March 2018, www.gutenberg.org/files/219/219-h/219-h.htm

Freud, Sigmund. “The Interpretation of Dreams.” Rivkin, Julie; Ryan, Michael. Literary Theory: An Anthology, 3rd edition. Wiley Blackwell.

Ivonin, Leonid; Chang, Huang-Ming; Diaz, Marta; Catala, Andreu; Chen, Wei; Rauterberg, Matthias. “Traces of Unconscious Mental Processes in Introspective Reports and Physiological Responses.” Plos One. 13 April 2015, doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0124519

Lois Tyson – Critical Theory Today: A User-Friendly Guide, 2nd ed., 2006.

Rich, Adrienne. “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence” Onlywomen Press, 1980, users.uoa.gr/~cdokou/RichCompulsoryHeterosexuality.pdf

Schutt, Bill. Eat Me: A Natural and Unnatural History of Cannibalism. Welcome Collection, 2019.

Writing, Longform

Potential Novel Planning: The Dark Side of Yuma

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Story Structure:

The Dark Side of Yuma is a young adult fantasy romance novel that will be written in chapters. Each chapter will be written in the third-person limited perspective from the point of view of different characters. For instance, I imagine the opening chapter as being told through the eyes of Ibeji, a traveler in the desert who proclaims that his kingdom extends as far as the eye can see just before he passes out on his camel-like creature from dehydration and exposure to the two suns in the sky. This will actually be a flash-forward. The second chapter will begin in medias res with a young prince Olorun learning of the death of his father the king, mother, sister, and a number of palace staff to a virulent illness.

The death of Olorun’s father is the inciting incident that leads to his crowning, expectation of marriage, and beginning his rule. His one remaining younger brother Kwento survived the sickness and is raised in Olorun’s household. The intricacies of the patriarchal society unfold alongside his first love affair with his young wife as the new king learns to rule. Interesting laws of note include a merit-based society that can only be circumvented by redemption (i.e. wealth), failing to prove oneself results in slavery, and each country must send resources including choice slaves yearly to the service of the religious structure and/or royal family. Interesting customs of note include a living wage for all citizens, freedom of religion and culture (as long as basic laws are met), and clear dark skin bias that is apparent in all transactions. Women prove merit by giving birth to a child and men prove merit by advancing any field as judged by a panel of elders. Olorun’s first wife is unable to bear children, so Olorun begins a quest for a wife who can birth an heir. Daughters do not count, so Olorun ends up with six wives before twin sons are born (an heir and a spare.) The saga of finding wives will be its own storyline that shows the perspective of several different women and slaves in the household.

The inciting incident that leads to the second act will be Ibeji’s birth as told through the eyes of the midwife Abeabah. He is actually the firstborn, but has obvious skin pigmentation issues, so the midwife switches him with his brother and declares Imana firstborn. The same night of the heir’s birth, the king’s brother Kwento and all his family are killed in a house fire. Ibeji must struggle from early on to overcome judgement for his skin issues (a condition like Vitiligo) and being the second-born always runner-up to his brother in his parents’ eyes. He excels in every way and overcomes numerous obstacles on his path to proving himself including earning his manhood by finding the lost crown of Olokun, the goddess of the sea. Several chapters will be written from the perspective of Ibeji’s main slave, other siblings in the royal family including Odafin (a brother from another mother), and Ala the first wife who was never able to give the king a child. The decision of Olorun to retire and crown Imana king creates a conflict for Ibeji. He must decide what he wants to do with his life.  In the midst of all the coronation activities he foils a plot by a radical organization to kill the heir by posing as his brother. His reward from his father is anything he asks for. Ibeji asks to rule some part of their world, to help his brother. King Olorun says that cannot be done. The whole world from the mountains to the sea are ruled by one king. So Ibeji asks to rule whatever is beyond the mountains and the sea. The king consents, believing such a quest to be a death sentence for his son.

Ibeji and his crew set out for beyond the mountains and the sea in act three of the narrative and experience more adventures like shipwreck, cannibals, mountain creatures that steal sight, and an endless desert that drives people insane. The story circles back to the opening scene with Ibeji unconscious, alone in the desert, near death. This chapter is from the perspective of a military woman on patrol who finds him and checks for a pulse. She puts a piece of plant between his bottom lip and teeth, then drags him on a stretcher to a camp. Her thoughts flash back to a memory of finding another man in the desert with a similar tattoo some 20 years past. He pleaded for his wife and children to be saved, but they were all dead by the time they were found. This soldier vowed then and there to search harder and faster as soon as one was found and since then had saved over 88 people from the desert. She went on to fall in love with the man she found and he became her beloved. Flitting moments of consciousness through the eyes of Ibeji reveal that some of his party have also been rescued and the camp they have been brought to is a lush oasis with beautiful women, plenty of resources, and a completely different society than they have ever seen. It is a matriarchal system with women running everything and men being seen as less-than. He is introduced to his uncle Kwento that he had only heard stories of. He is told the truth about his family’s fate, that all are killed with the death of the king or the birth of the next heir. By way of resolution, he and his crew are welcomed into the oasis society as long as they are willing to follow the rules and make themselves useful. The strangeness of this new society is barely introduced by the end of the novel, but enough to pique the interest in another novel to come about The Bright Side of Yuma.

Character Objective: 

Ibeji desires to prove his worth and compensate for his mottled skin coloring. Ultimately, he wants to rule a kingdom.

Scene Breakdown: 

Ch. 1 – Ibeji perspective –  Ibeji is on a camel-like creature the size of a giraffe with zebra stripes the color of sand. He is barely conscious and fading. There is dessert as far as the eye can see. He passes out and falls from the giant creature. The creature keeps walking.  

Ch. 2 – Olorun perspective – The 15-year-old young man is told that his family is dead except for him and his younger brother Kwento. He will now be crowned king, must marry quickly, and begin his reign.

Ch. 3 –  Ala perspective – This young 15-year-old girl falls in love immediately with King Olorun. Their romance is sweet and tender. After an exciting pregnancy, their first son is stillborn. They both grieve, but comfort one another and will keep trying.

Ch. 4 – Sulola perspective – She is chosen as a 2nd wife for Olorun because Queen Ala continues to have miscarriages. Sulola is ordered to give her firstborn child to Queen Ala when it is born; but begin by showing life in her country…peaceful and pleasant, happy family, but she is too beautiful…chosen as the girl to be given to the higher purpose (doesn’t know until she gets to the island that she will be a queen)

Ch. 5-7 – Kwento perspective – tell of Sulola’s daughter, proves self, falls in love with Sulola, gets her pregnant, king marries again and gets wife pregnant, Sulola has not been with the king in a long time so they hatch a plan for her to petition the king to give her a child, go in to the king and get him really drunk, tell him afterward that they had sex, Kwento gets married, son, Sulola has her own daughter (by Kwento), Obba 3rd wife also has daughter

Ch. 8 –Lulu  Isoken’s mother – tells of her daughter being taken 4th wife, gives birth to twin daughters

Ch. 9 – Mobo perspective – Proves self, name changed to Ogun. Chosen as the gift from a country to go to the island because he was the best swordsman. Fine with it because he only wanted to serve. 14 when he proved himself and was chosen. Leaves family behind.

Ch. 10 – Maha  5th wife’s servant perspective – 5th wife, pregnant with son (she believes), did not have a baby within a year, so Olorun took a 6th wife, race to give birth, took herbs to try to have her son come out first

Ch. 11 – Sulola perspective – 2nd wife gets pregnant by Kwento again; tells Kwento she will go with him; then at the last minute goes to the King to be with him to ensure the baby is seen as a prince or princess; does not go with Kwento

Ch. 12 – Abeabah (Midwife) perspective – 6th wife having twins, switches babies at birth (hints of Ogun possibly seeing the switch); 5th wife also gives birth to baby shortly after the twins; news of Kwento and his family fleeing

Ch. 13 – Odafin perspective – best friends with Ibeji and Imana; adventures and scuffles at 9; oldest of 6 brothers; in line for the throne if the twins die; determined to keep them alive because he does not want to be a king. That looks super boring. The twins get a new brother.

Ch. 14 – Ibeji perspective – He decides to prove himself on the greatest quest ever! He wants to find the lost crown of Olokun, the goddess of the sea.

Ch. 15 – Ogun perspective – Tells of the quest. Sailing, battling sea monsters, the treacherous storms of the southern seas, reaching the black snows of the south, finding the cave where the crown has been hidden for thousands of years, and Ibeji retrieving the crown.

Ch. 16 – Ibeji perspective – The long trip home is easier now that they know how to avoid the pitfalls, the arrival home, meeting his new baby sister, and presenting the crown to king. He has proven himself and is now a man. (So has Odafin.)

Ch. 17 – Sulola perspective – She is having secret meetings with her birth daughter that was given to the first wife and their grandchildren because it makes Ala jealous when she sees them together.

Ch. 18 – Ibeji perspective – He goes along with Imana for him to prove himself on a journey to kill the three-horned beast of the eastern jungles. Multiple near death experiences bring them closer together, but Ibeji also starts to worry about Imana’s ruthlessness.

Ch. 19 – Zane (Sulola & Kwento son) perspective – A tournament of champions takes place in the capital of Szansila. Zane wins the bow and arrow competition (proving himself); His brothers win many prizes, too. Imana wins the curved sword competition, but kills his competitor rather than sparing him. Ibeji does not agree with his choice. Ibeji wins the overall competition.

Ch. 20 – Imana perspective – A battle with uprisers has been building. Now that he and Ibeji are 18, they will accompany their father to the lands where some of the troops are fighting. The rebels want the royal family destroyed, their own children not taken as slaves, women to have more equality, and relax the achievement requirements.

Ch. 21 – Ibeji perspective – Rebel woman captured and tells Ibeji tales of a world beyond the mountains where women rule and men are slaves. She is put to death, but before she dies she tells Ibeji his whole family will be dead soon anyway, so there is no point to all that he is doing. Ibeji keeps pondering what she is talking about and decides she was issuing idle threats.

Ch. 22 – Olorun perspective – The battle must be won because the entire economic system depends on unity. He confers with Imana and they decide to slay all who are related to the rebels. I beji does not agree, but his wishes are not taken into consideration.

Ch. 23 – Ibeji perspective – Everyone is put to death whose men partook in the uprising. They squash the 11 countries that have banded together.  They spare the young women as spoils of war to be concubines. Ibeji lets a household live while they are going door to door killing families. His brother comes along behind him and kills them. Ibeji is furious and confronts his brother afterward. Imana demands his obedience as he is his future king. Ibeji stands down.

Ch. 24 – Maha perspective – Imana is preparing to take over the throne and getting married. There is pressure on Ibeji to get married, as well and women are constantly being paraded in front of him as possible wives. Ibeji discovers the plot to kill and Ibeji decides to save him, though he tempted to let him die. Ibeji saves Imana.

Ch. 25 – Ibeji is offered whatever he likes for saving his brother and he asks for land to rule. His father grants him the land beyond the mountains and the seas. He starts planning; the king gives him a sword; Ibeji says his goodbyes.

Ch. 26 – Zane  (Kwento’s son) perspective – He sneaks onto the ship as a stowaway; they head off with excitement; he steals food and hides behind a panel below deck. He sneaks around at night and falls in love with the whole adventure. He is eventually discovered below deck, but they are too far from home to turn around. They will send him back at the next port. Instead, his protector catches up by boat with the message from his mother that he may stay on in the journey if Ibeji will have him. She is not happy, but will let him be a man.

Ch. 27 – Ogun perspective – Land in port town and buy supplies to make it to the mountains; carts and horses, food and drinks. Ogun thinks this is a suicide mission but is with Ibeji to the end. It turns out he likes men…finds a brothel…

Ch. 28 – Odafin perspective – Gnome men are more dangerous than they appear. They must find a way to convince these mighty tiny warriors that they respect them in order to receive their help. Once accomplished by battling them like men, they are able to purchase the mountain equipment they need. They must weather mountain climbing in freezing cold temperatures. They are bundled up in furs, but some die on the mountain, including Ogun who cuts his own line to save Ibeji.

Ch. 29 – Kali  (Woman servant) perspective – They make it to base camp on other side of mountain. She asks if they can just stay there. They purchase camel-type creatures, water flasks, linen garments and scarves that keep the sun from burning the skin. They start out in the rocky terrain, move on to grasslands that still have some pools of water, but it slowly turns to dry ground with cracks and eventually becomes sand as far as the eye can see; Bandits attack and kill a few and steal some camels and supplies.

Ch. 30 – Katsu  (Military Woman) perspective – She is on patrol and finds Ibeji in the sand alive but unconscious.

Ch. 31 – Ibeji perspective – He wakes up at an oasis camp and is introduced to his Uncle Kwento; he learns of this matriarchal system that he must agree to comply with if he wants to live…then he may stay. He decides for his entire group that they will comply and all agree.

Ch. 32 – Maowai (Religious leader) perspective – She speaks to the congregation and says that danger has entered their realm. These are men from another world who claim to have power over women. “When some have come before, we have had to kill them, castrate them, imprison them, and blind them to keep them from hurting us. Nothing good comes from welcoming in this many men. The stars are speaking to me and it is not good.” It is revealed that one of Ibeji’s men has raped a girl, so he is put to death. Ibeji does not intervene because he has agreed to follow their customs.

Ch. 33 – Zane (Kwento’s son) perspective – Kwento realizes the boy is his and begins to ask him about his family. Kwento finds out Zane’s sister is alive and is surprised when Kwento begins crying. He takes Zane under his wing and teaches him the ways of the women’s world.

Ch. 34 – Ibeji perspective – He thanks the women for their kindness, but tells them he must move on because he must find a land he can rule. The women laugh at him because men don’t rule. Some of his group decide to stay with the oasis women, but the rest head off and are given their weapons back because they have earned trust. Maowai stares in disbelief and shakes her head cursing as they leave.

Significant Story Points: 

  • The exposition could be considered chapters 2 through 11 since the character of interest is Ibeji and he is born in chapter 12. It will give the background, customs, history, and family lines of Ibeji to make his entire saga make sense. This is intended to be a 3-book series, so it makes sense to have quite a bit of background.
  • The climax is the collapse of Ibeji when he seems to fall to his death in the desert.
  • The falling action is Ibeji waking up in the oasis camp and learning the fate of his crew and the strange world he has found.
  • The denouement is Kwento’s discovery that Zane is his son.
  • The resolution is Ibeji’s willingness to learn the ways of the women, but still wanting to travel on to find the place he can rule.
  • Tension and resolution:
  • There are multiple points of tension between Ibeji and his brother as they are finding that they would rule in different manners.
  • There is tension as King Olorun marries woman after woman in hopes of the birth of a son and his plans are constantly thwarted. There is finally resolution when three boys are born on the same day.
  • Tension occurs between the 2 mothers of Ada and is only resolved by secrecy.
  • Tension exists between the families losing their children to the ruling class and religion. It will lead to conflict in the form of rebellion and war.
  • Tension occurs when Kwento runs away and asks Sulola to come with him. She must decide whether to stay in safety or go with her true love. The resolution is heartbreaking when she decides to remain.
  • Tension occurs in the scene with the rapist who cries out for Ibeji to save him from the death penalty, but Ibeji honors his commitment to the women of the community.
  • Conflict of Characters:
  • The main conflict is within Ibeji as he is deciding what he wants to do with his life since he cannot be the ruler of the land.
  • He must also deal with the conflicting ways in which society judges his skin condition, though he is in a position of privilege by birth.
  • He also has conflict with Imana because he does not agree with the way he wields his power.
  • The wives have conflict amongst themselves.
  • There is war that is literal conflict. It is also ideological because the rebels are wanting to change key human rights laws and make the world a safer place for all people, including women.
  • When Ibeji makes it to the world beyond the mountains and the sea, his entire world view conflicts with a matriarchal society.
  • Impact of Conflict:
  • Ibeji is forced to look at the reality of his father’s rule and his brother’s intentions as ruler. He is able to formulate the possibility of a different way of governing.
  • Ibeji begins to question the skin-biased culture in which he lives and begins to reconcile power and humility within himself.
  • Ibeji is still struggling by the end with the conflict that the Queens create. He does not know the answer, but has begun to believe that his father’s way is not the best.
  • He fights in the war, but begins to question his beliefs when confronted with valid arguments of the human rights abuses committed so that he can continue his way of life.
  • His mind is blown and he is still reeling at the end of the novel from the matriarchal society he has found. It is hinted that he assumes this is a strange little microcosm he has found and more than likely will be able to carve out his own kingdom elsewhere, which implies he still has more to learn in the next novel.

Setting Details – Place and Time:

This story takes place on Yuma, a planet in the galaxy Tamashi Hoikuen. Yuma is part of a binary solar system with five planets total. The orbit of Yuma around the two stars is widely elliptical creating 10-hour cycles of light and dark. Yuma has two moons, Chikara who orbits Yuma, and a moon’s moon Iwa who orbits Chikara. At any given moment, there may be two daystars and two moons in the sky, or none at all. Stars from their own galaxy and beyond are always visible when it is dark.

Only the eastern hemisphere of the planet will receive much attention in this first novel because it is telling the story of the dark side of Yuma. The main character Ibeji will traverse his known-world on adventures proving himself on missions of greatness. The known-planet holds a wide variety of climates (mostly inhabitable) with countries varying in culture, language, diversity of appearance, clothing, and traditions. Ibeji is from Oba Island and grew up in a mild climate with very short winters and very long summers in which to surf and enjoy adventures on and around the pristine beaches. His immediate siblings and his mother have their own castle on the island with a connecting mote to the main palace. Their mother can close the drawbridge at will and post her own guards if she needs to feel more secure. In technological advancement, an equivalent era to Earth might be the 16th Century, though advancements in astronomy are limited due to severe religious restrictions. The printing press exists and the entire hemisphere uses a common written language and sign language, though many others exist, as well.

I chose Yuma because I wanted to create a world from scratch that was half dark, half bright like the yin yang symbol. The dark side is a patriarchal society and the bright side is a matriarchal society. I want there to be strengths and weaknesses to both sides that can only be balanced when they decide to help one another.

Time and Profluence:

Each chapter will tell the narrator, legal and illegal dates in history to help keep track of the constantly changing perspectives and the timeline. For example, the first chapter title will include Prince Ibeji’s name, Year 1 King Imana’s reign, Year 10,021 Forbidden Calendar. The second chapter will go back in time to Prince Olorun, end of King Oyelowo’s reign, Year 9,984 Forbidden Calendar.  For profluence, my intention is to using active verbs that indicate activity implying passage of time. In travels I will show people having to cover their eyes with masks to sleep even though it is light outside because it the time of sleep. Meals will be served, chores completed, plans hatched and carried out. The pace of the story should pull the reader to the end of the chapter and make them want to keep reading on to the next.

Story Development:

My main character will need to be born in a privileged setting to survive his skin condition in a society that values darker skin. Yet, it is also his position that will give him the training and power to possibly do something to help others in similar situations to his own someday. A hemisphere hemmed in by tall mountain ranges and seemingly impassable oceans, capped by deadly black snows, and no one with the desire to adventure beyond creates the perfect setting for someone who feels they have nothing to lose and everything to gain by proving themselves so dramatically. Ibeji is convinced land exists if he can overcome the obstacles and has the resources to attempt the journey. Only then can he find a world that is in some ways the flip side of his own and come to terms with the belief systems he has based his entire worldview on.

Archetypes:

  • Light v. Darkness – though I hope to flip this one a bit, with strengths and weaknesses existing within both lands. The bright side will have desserts, white sand beaches, and paler waters due to the currents on the planet.
  • The Threshold – Each challenge will essentially grant Ibeji entrance to another phase of his journey.
  • Innate Wisdom v. Educated Stupidity – Some things the servants are capable of will save Ibeji, surprising him (though I wouldn’t call him stupid and hope to live.)
  • Heaven v. Wilderness – Short stays in safe places will be welcomed rest and recuperation before venturing out on dangerous quests as part of the overall journey.
  • Water v. Desert – The story begins with Ibeji dying of thirst, and ends with him being rescued and taken to an oasis. Water will save him (and a strong woman carrying the water.)

These archetypes fit with the characters and journey undertaken to get Ibeji from one world to another and make him a better man because of it. It will still take another novel to make him fit to rule, but he will be on the right track.

Character Sketches:

Prince Ibeji Character Sketch

Prince Ibeji is the twin spare heir to the throne with a skin condition similar to vitiligo in a society that is positively biased toward darker skin. At the start of the novel he is 20 years old, 6 foot 5 inches tall, and his muscled frame is dressed in the remnants of a white turban and linen desert clothing to protect from the sun. The left half of his face is a deep ebony, but the other half is mottled with pale splotches. When the turban slips from his head, his thick dreadlocks fall halfway down his back, half stark white, half black. Ibeji’s posture belies training in formal etiquette, the lift of his chin and no fear of direct eye contact are indicative of royal blood. His insistence that people look at his face rather than away from him shows the internal struggle he continues to fight to overcome the prejudice and personal embarrassment at being so marked. He overcompensates with extreme achievement and is the best at a number of sporting events including surfing, fighting with the dagger, several instruments he has chosen to master, and one branch of mathematics that he took an interest in. He is fiercely loyal to his family and loves his baby sister (who is 6 at this point) more than anything on earth. He feels the need to continually prove himself to his father King Olorun and is willing to risk his life to find a kingdom to rule even if it means traveling beyond the known boundaries of his planet.

Character Profile

Basic Statistics

Name: Prince Ibeji son of King Olorun and Queen Jol
Age: 20 at start of novel, then goes back in time to his birth
Nationality: the royal family does not maintain a nationality as they rule the entire world
Socioeconomic Level as a child: wealthy
Socioeconomic Level as an adult: at the start of the novel, he is moderately wealthy for his world, but extremely wealthy for the new world he has “discovered”
Hometown: Oba Island
Current Residence: homeless wanderer roaming the desert on camel-back
Occupation: Prince; N/A
Income: money has never been an issue for him because he was born into royalty and is given all he needs or wants
Talents/Skills: dagger fighting, sports in general and specifically surfing, mathematics, several instruments
Salary: N/A
Birth order: 1st born, but he thinks he is the 2nd born twin
Siblings (describe relationship): twin brother Imana, close but competitive and begin to have different ideas about ruling that start to drive a wedge between them ; half-brother Odafin, very close – probably his best friend besides his twin; 11 year old full brother, 17 year old full sister, 6 year old full sister (that he adores); 7 half-sisters, 8 other half-brothers, 2 cousins that he thinks are half-siblings, but are actually fathered by his Uncle Kwento
Spouse (describe relationship): N/A
Children (describe relationship): N/A
Grandparents (describe relationship): deceased
Grandchildren (describe relationship): N/A
Significant Others (describe relationship): N/A
Relationship skills: suspicious of authentic kindness as he assumes everyone is judging his vitiligo or is only being polite out of obligation to his rank

Physical Characteristics

Height: 6 foot 5 inches
Weight: 230 pounds
Race: Oba race (black skin)
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: half black, half white
Glasses or contact lenses? N/A
Skin color: black with vitiligo, left half of face black, other half mottled with pale splotches
Shape of Face: chiseled, strong jaw
Distinguishing features: vitiligo, thick dreadlocks that fall halfway down his back, half stark white, half black
How does he/she dress? Royal garb, but at start of novel in white turban and linen desert clothing
Mannerisms: fiddles with his dagger, posture belies training in formal etiquette, the lift of his chin and no fear of direct eye contact are indicative of royal blood
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) a bit of a womanizer
Health: strong and healthy – in the prime of life
Hobbies: developing new talents that strike his fancy, pulling pranks on schoolmasters and religious clerics
Favorite Sayings: Words mean nothing; Are you trying to die today?
Speech patterns: formal diction due to training in royal language
Disabilities: N/A
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): finest quality clothing available on the planet, can’t look shabby even when he tries
Greatest flaw: overcompensates for his vitiligo and being the spare heir with accomplishments; distrustful of kindness in others because he thinks they are only doing so out of obligation and are really judging him silently for his skin
Best quality: loyalty, perseverance
Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes: extremely intelligent in an analytical way; closed-minded about the views he has grown up with until some experiences along the way in his adventure to the other side of the world opens his horizons a bit; cocky; thinks he’s the gods gift to women (except for the whole skin thing)
Educational Background: full education that is offered to the royals
Intelligence Level: super smart
Any Mental Illnesses? N/A
Learning Experiences: hands on learner; his adventures teach him even more than the classroom; but also digs into his studies
Character’s short-term goals in life: achieve every possible goal he sets to prove himself to his father the king
Character’s long-term goals in life: rule a kingdom of his own
How does Character see himself/herself? Capable, just needs to be given a chance to ultimately prove himself
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Less-than because of his vitiligo, but he also knows he has earned respect due to his achievements
How self-confident is the character? Extremely self-confident in his abilities, lacking in some self-esteem because of his vitiligo
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Logic, with an undercurrent of emotion
What would most embarrass this character? Admitting failure

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths: compassionate, fair, loyal Weaknesses: easily angered, holds grudges, self-conscious about his vitiligo
Introvert or Extrovert? Ambivert – loves to be the life of the party, but it drains him and then needs time to recuperate alone
How does the character deal with anger? Snaps, then has to apologize
With sadness? Does not admit sadness to himself, buries it
With conflict? Addresses it head on
With change? Very adaptable
With loss? Has not really experienced much loss and doesn’t like to think about it
What does the character want out of life? To prove himself to his father and rule a kingdom – ultimately to prove that he would be a good leader
What would the character like to change in his/her life? Find a cure for his vitiligo, become a ruler, not let his vitiligo bother him
What motivates this character? Achievement, proving himself to others to overcompensate for his vitiligo
What frightens this character? failure
What makes this character happy? Spending time with his baby sister (6 years old at the start of the novel), surfing/being out in nature on the island, family
Is the character judgmental of others? He is judgmental of laziness or lack of achievement
Is the character generous or stingy? He is generous, but he has not really earned any of the items or goods he shares with others
Is the character generally polite or rude? polite
Spiritual Characteristics: He is spiritual and follows the religious customs of the royal family; he is not above being a little sacrilegious for a laugh, though
Does the character believe in God? yes
What are the character’s spiritual beliefs? The gods determined the patriarchal order of the world, as well as the royal order of his family and the way each country is to contribute to the monarchy
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character’s life? both
If so, what role does it play? It is a very important part and will ultimately be a crisis for him when he finds another world with other religious beliefs
How the Character is Involved in the Story: he will end up being the main focus by the end of the novel
Character’s role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): hero
Scene where character first appears: opening scene
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: he has been humbled, thrown into a completely different world than he expected, but still determined to reach his goals and undaunted by the obstacles ahead of him

Prince Kwento Character Sketch

Prince Kwento is the only brother of King Olorun, the uncle of Prince Ibeji. He disappeared the night of Prince Ibeji’s birth, though he has quite the interesting backstory. He was orphaned at age 11 and grew up under the rule of his brother being schooled by the prophets, clergy, and educational system on the royal island. He grew to be a sturdy figure 6 feet tall with brown skin the color of dark caramel. He wears the traditional dreadlocks, though he keeps them a more manageable length since he does not think he will ever rule. He is skilled in painting and poetry, though he is also an expert longbow marksman. Kwento is romantically inclined, his head in the clouds at times about falling in love and finds himself smitten with a beautiful girl who turns out to be his brother’s betrothed. (She will be the 2nd wife.) Kwento tends to question the ways of tradition much more than most and it gets him into trouble often. Kwento yearns for freedom from the old ways and rigid structure of palace life.

Character Profile

Basic Statistics

Name: Prince Kwento son of King Oyelowo and Queen Fadekemi
Age: he is 11 when he is first seen in the novel; when he is reintroduced at the end he is 47
Nationality: the royal family does not maintain a nationality as they rule the entire world
Socioeconomic Level as a child: wealthy
Socioeconomic Level as an adult: at the start of the novel he is one of the wealthiest people in his world, when he is reintroduced, he is poor
Hometown: Oba Island at the start; reintroduced at an oasis camp
Current Residence: Oba Island
Occupation: Prince; N/A
Income: money has never been an issue for him because he was born into royalty and is given all he needs or wants; he will learn to work to survive by the end
Talents/Skills: painting, poetry, expert longbow marksman
Salary: N/A
Birth order: 2nd born son spare heir, 3rd born child
Siblings (describe relationship): King Olorun – some animosity because his brother became an authority figure over him when their parents died, though just the day before they had been scuffling in the courtyard; 2 sisters – one older, 1 younger – both died when his parents did 
Spouse (describe relationship): Eriayomi – cordial, but not a relationship of passion; becomes all about the children; was in love with his brother’s 2nd wife Sulola and that was a relationship of passion
Children (describe relationship): from Eriayomi – son 7, daughter 4, son 1 (all killed around those ages); from Sulola – Adana daughter 27, Zane son 19 (they do not know he is their father)
Grandparents (describe relationship): deceased
Grandchildren (describe relationship): has 3 grandchildren that he does not know about because he fled the country; he will find out about them when he reconnects with Zane at the end of the novel
Significant Others (describe relationship): he is now in a strong relationship with Katsu, a military woman who patrols the deserts in the world “discovered” beyond the mountains and the sea
Relationship skills: super romantic, girls fall for him easily, easy to talk to, kind

Physical Characteristics

Height: 6 foot
Weight: 195 pounds
Race: Oba race (black skin)
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: black
Glasses or contact lenses? N/A
Skin color: black (brown the color of dark caramel)
Shape of Face: square, strong jaw
Distinguishing features: caramel skin color and dreamy brown eyes
How does he/she dress? Royal garb and kind of likes pretty things, but at end of novel he looks rugged, windswept, and a bit tattered; clothing is more about necessity than appearance
Mannerisms: daydreams, stares off into space formulating poems and picturing how he would paint whatever he is looking at
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) falls in love too easily
Health: strong and healthy
Hobbies: painting, writing poetry
Favorite Sayings: Quotes of the great poets of old like “Fire licks water to create love steam”
Speech patterns: poetic, rambles a bit if given the chance
Disabilities: N/A
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): likes elegant dress at the first, but not by the end
Greatest flaw: easily angered
Best quality: protective
Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes: creative, extremely intelligent verbally; open-minded about the views he has grown up with and the possibility that other ways might be valid; loves women;
Educational Background: full education that is offered to the royals
Intelligence Level: smart
Any Mental Illnesses? Some depression
Learning Experiences: reader, gets all of his information from books
Character’s short-term goals in life: love women and create art
Character’s long-term goals in life: survive
How does Character see himself/herself? As a survivor
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Less-than because he is the spare heir; expendable
How self-confident is the character? self-confident in his appearance and verbal abilities, lacking in some self-worth because he is the spare heir
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Entirely by emotion
What would most embarrass this character? Being unable to perform sexually

Emotional Characteristics

Strengths: romantic, gentle, caring
Weaknesses: easily angered, lets his romantic urges take over instead of thinking things through
Introvert or Extrovert? Introvert – enjoys one on one conversations, but prefers to be alone reding and painting
How does the character deal with anger? Snaps, then has to apologize
With sadness? Struggles, cries, lingers over the sadness
With conflict? Tends to avoid
With change? Struggles with change, wants things to stay the same
With loss? Struggles, has never gotten over losing his parents, sisters, then eventually his wife and children. His whole life is characterized by loss, but he doesn’t know how to manage it.
What does the character want out of life? Peace and safety
What would the character like to change in his/her life? He would love to have a relationship with his children
What motivates this character? Love
What frightens this character? Fear that he won’t be able to protect his family
What makes this character happy? Being in love, being with his children, art, poetry
Is the character judgmental of others? somewhat
Is the character generous or stingy? He is generous, but he has not really earned any of the items or goods he shares with others; at the end he is generous with his lack and that is more telling
Is the character generally polite or rude? polite
Spiritual Characteristics: He is spiritual and follows the religious customs of the royal family, though he questions often and does not agree with everything
Does the character believe in God? yes
What are the character’s spiritual beliefs? He believes there must be some truth to common threads in the religion of the two halves of the world, but he is not sure of exact truth; he has come to believe in kindness as a guiding principle
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character’s life? More spirituality now
If so, what role does it play? It is part of why he runs
How the Character is Involved in the Story: he will end up being the person who tells the main character the truth about his family and their destiny. He will motivate the main character to eventually return and save his family.
Character’s role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): uncle to the main character and moral balance
Scene where character first appears: chapter 2
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: he has been humbled, thrown into a completely different world than he expected, and has found what really matters in life

Character Interaction

Prince Ibeji and his Uncle Kwento will not meet until late in the novel, but the information Kwento shares with Ibeji will send him into a tailspin. Kwento proposes an overthrow of the kingdom in order to save the lives of people Ibeji loves. It will make him question his faith in the world he knows. Ibeji wants to find his own kingdom to rule, but Kwento makes a case for returning home to rule.

Proust Questionnaire

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Ibeji – It is known by all that I recovered the lost crown of Olokun for the honor and glory of my father King Olorun and to seal my manhood. However, I am most proud of saving my brother from certain death at the hands of radical misandrists. I could have let nature take its course and I would be planning my own coronation, but I remained loyal and upheld the nobility to which I was born.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Ibeji – My loved ones safe, a beautiful woman by my side, the sun on my skin, surfing all afternoon before taking a nap on the beach while lessers fan me.

What is your current state of mind?

Ibeji – Excited, eager, impatient to head out on the greatest quest a man has ever undertaken. I will either gain the world or die trying.

What is your favorite occupation?

Ibeji – I am not a shamed lesser. I was born to the ruling class. This must be a list of questions for commoners.

What is your most treasured possession?

Ibeji – My father gave me a jeweled scepter that has been in our family vault for centuries to take with me on my quest. I will use it to rule when I am sitting on my throne beyond the mountains and the sea. It is priceless. But if I am honest, the only object that is on my person at all times is my dagger given to me by my mother when I was 12. It has proved the most useful and most valuable of all my belongings.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Ibeji – My baby sister Tujuka. She is five and is the most joyful person I know.

What is your favorite journey?

Ibeji – The one I have yet to take.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Ibeji – My skin curse has marked me as second born. People must show me respect because I am a prince, but I see the disgust and judgment in their eyes, nonetheless.

When and where were you the happiest?

Ibeji – It was the moment I arrived home from earning my manhood at 14 years old. My mother had given birth to my baby sister while I was on my journey and she was rocking the little one to sleep when I surprised her with my arrival. I could see the pride in her eyes. Then she laid the baby on a cushion, got down on her knees, and placed her forehead on my feet. It was the first time my mother showed me due reverence as a grown man. Later, before presenting the crown to Father, I slipped baby Tujuka into the crown. Her whole body fit through it like it was a giant golden suit of armor. She began to bubble with laughter like only babies can do and my heart was filled to bursting. 

What is it that you most dislike?

Ibeji – Judgment from others.

What is your greatest fear?

Ibeji – Failure.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Ibeji – I’m not sure I understand the question. I partake of what I am owed by divine right. Nothing is extravagant. It is as it should be.

Which living person do you most despise?

Ibeji – Cleric Abiola. He knows why.

What is your greatest regret?

Ibeji – That I never met my Uncle Kwento who died the day I was born. I am told I am like him in many ways. 

Which talent would you most like to have?

Ibeji – I do not need to wish. If I desire a skill, I hire the greatest teacher, devote myself to the practice of it, and master said skill.

Where would you like to live?

Ibeji – I will live in my own palace in the world beyond the mountains and the sea.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Ibeji – I would imagine being born lesser and unable to prove yourself worthy.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Ibeji – Loyalty.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Ibeji – Beauty.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Ibeji – That I let others’ opinions of my skin bother me.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Ibeji – That they are bothered by my skin.

What do you most value in your friends?

Ibeji – I do not have friends. I have brothers and lessers.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Ibeji – I do not read fiction. That is for women.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Ibeji – I have no heroes. I make my own fortune.

Which living person do you most admire?

Ibeji – Myself.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Ibeji – Patience. How many more questions are there?

On what occasions do you lie?

Ibeji – When women ask if they are my favorite.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Ibeji – Are you trying to die today?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Ibeji – Being born second.

What are your favorite names?

Ibeji – Tujuka (my sister) and Jol (my mother)

How would you like to die?

Ibeji – With honor. Perhaps defending my own throne.

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

Ibeji – A moon.

What is your motto?

Ibeji – Words mean nothing.

Theme Development:

One main theme I would like to explore in this novel is the need for constant approval in a merit-based society where every person’s worth is dependent on achievement. There is not room for people who lack ambition to be at peace in this world. It will create a culture of constant competition and outdoing what has been done before. This will build animosity within families and social groupings and lead to disastrous consequences as people risk everything to be the best. This will be seen between Ibeji and Imana and others within the royal family. Because women must bear children, their worth is entirely based on reproductive abilities, which will lead to dangerous treatments, life-risking procedures, and women taking their own lives rather than becoming slaves. It could also lead to infant trafficking and all sorts of other evils to trick the system. These ideas will be explored in act one of the novel, especially as regards the six wives of King Olorun. The meaning I hope readers will gain is that people should be accepted as they are rather than requiring achievement or progeny to be of value.

Because the elaborate structure of the royal family invites competition and resentment between the different wives, children, and slaves, the question of loyalty also becomes a theme. The reader will hopefully value the eventual loyalty of Ibeji to his brother and the loyalty of people like the midwife to her women. She will be depicted as a fighter for female sovereignty. Some of her methods that seem questionable will save lives and ultimately keep people safe. Odafin (Ibeji’s brother from another mother) will be a constant companion in his adventures and will prove to be one of the most loyal characters in the book. He is third in line for the throne and has multiple opportunities to kill Ibeji in order to become the spare heir, but is steadfast in his fidelity to his best friend and brother Ibeji. The meaning imbedded in developing this theme is that loyalty to beliefs, honor, and integrity are noble.

Revisions:

The following feedback has made its way into my revision process:

(From Jeanne)

  • Kwento is already likeable since he is an artist, poet, and romantic. He needs to have more flaws like jealousy for the thrown, or he wants to do away with the old traditions, but he thinks way outside the box. Like instead of the “old ways,” he wants to have free love incorporated where anyone can sleep with whomever they please. All the babies conceived would be taken care of communally. Something along those lines.
  • As far as Ibeji goes, maybe he can also have a short temper that he works on controlling because of his insecurities. 

(From Kody)

  • Giving the character a color-coded condition like vitiligo has a lot of sociopolitical nuance behind it, and as a white person I don’t consider myself qualified to comment overmuch on it. Because you’re writing fantasy, though, you do have a bit of power here. Because it’s closely tied with a real-world phenomenon, changing it overmuch might dilute the message you are trying to send about body acceptance or societal pressure surrounding vitiligo. You do not have to be accurate to the real world, but whether you want to or not your story will be compared to the real world. The movie Bright, for instance, drew some scrutiny when it made its orcs (a fantasy species generally portrayed as brutish, savage, and ugly) heavily coded as Black. Even though the orcs were made up, the fact that it tied orc stereotypes to Black stereotypes sent a negative message to some people. So, if you’re trying to send a message about Black beauty stereotypes or vitiligo, adding something extra to it (unique eye colors) might dilute that message! It’ll definitely be worthwhile to see how vitiligo is handled in other characters. Is there something you would gain by giving him heterochromia that would make it worthwhile to your story? If it’s simply an aesthetic choice, I’d say drop it and focus more on how vitiligo affects him, making that aspect of your story stronger.
  • I’d recommend checking out books or other media where a main character struggles with acne, since it’s also a skin condition that has a lot of stigma attached to it. Just as vitiligo was once conflated with leprosy, acne is often assumed to be from uncleanliness or poor health, and acne can be immensely damaging to one’s self-esteem. Of course, if you can find a source on vitiligo that would be even better, but those may be harder to find unfortunately

(From Dariusz)

  • after I finished reading your Book Description/Plot Summary: I would love to see you at least hint on what are Ibeji’s ‘constant achievements’ in the book’s description?

The following feedback has been evaluated and I have decided not to implement it:

(From Dariusz)

  • P.S. When I first looked at your post’s title, my thoughts went straight to Arizona 🙂 I know it isn’t a biggie, but is that something that you are at all concerned, as far as the audience and the marketing of your book?

I am honestly still considering changing the name of the planet, but have not yet come across a name that works using the Japanese definitions I am going for. Yuma means “Calm truth” in Japanese. I like the idea of that for the Yin/Yang concept I am going for that will culminate in meaning in the 3rd book of the series. I have not ruled out changing the name; I simply have not found another one that mean something significant for my story. Dariusz makes an excellent point (especially since the name will be in the title.)

Goals Statement:

I have never planned out my entire novel with chapter summaries before. I have simply started writing and seen where it takes me. This method feels more structured and gives me hope that I will create something with much more thematic value that also takes the reader on a better-defined journey. For example, while planning the chapter summaries the half-brother Odafin surfaced as a key witness to the main character’s adventures and made me realize he should narrate a chapter.

The Proust Questionnaire was an excellent exercise to explore my character that I have never done before. Taking the time to get to know my main characters before jumping into the story has created layers of personality that will hopefully produce better-rounded characters in the long run.

I have also never delved into the setting as intensely before. This exercise has made me excited about creating a fantasy world and made me believe that I have a shot at actually writing a fantasy novel. This is a first for me and I am as nervous as I am excited!

Receiving peer feedback was nerve-wracking, especially because it was during the formation process. I am used to sharing pieces with others after I have perfected them, but this was a much more vulnerable experience. Surprisingly, I found it affirming and helpful. The suggestions made by fellow writers were spot on for consideration and shared in a spirit of mutual growth. I would love to find a community to write with in the future that could be equally supportive.

My goal now is to begin crafting portions of the story that seem crucial to character development. Because I have spent so much time working on Ibeji (my main character’s) part of the story, I would like to jump right into his part of the book, which is actually about 1/3 of the way in. Then, as I realize I need bits of history to make sense of things, I will go back and work on his father’s story. That may be a bit backward, but it seems logical to me as a way to start. I am going to set a goal of writing at least one scene or chapter every week to keep the momentum going.

Writing, Longform

Thoughts on “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid

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“Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid hints at the character of a caregiver to a young woman. In her attempts to teach the girl the ways of womanhood, she shows herself to be old-fashioned, strict in principle, and set in her views of gender roles. These qualities demonstrate her preferences. Little details in her lecturing show glimpses of her past like the fact that she knows how to grow crops, sew clothes, and run a household. She is savvy about interactions with men, has loved, has fallen out of love, and has given up on love. These qualities demonstrate her history. Her flaw is her suspicion of the girl. She cannot imagine that the girl is not making all the same mistakes she made. And with so much emphasis on avoiding the appearance of impropriety, it is surprising that she has possibly had an abortion (Kincaid).    

The unique writing style of this piece develops the character in a manner that only gives a slice of information and entirely through dialogue. The reader must infer character traits and piece her story together with clues from her speech. This method does not permit as much character development as one might prefer and provides no physical description of the character. Enemies are vaguely hinted at as men who have bullied her and fake smiles given to people she doesn’t like. The story leaves one wanting more with no means of satisfaction. When I write characters, I hope to capture the voice and traits as well as Kincaid, but provide more physical descriptions and consider alliances during development.

Bonus Note: The woman accuses the girl of singing Benna in Sunday School and I laughed so hard when I looked it up on line. “Sexually suggestive, call and repeat style, telling scandalous gossip”…definitely not appropriate Sunday School music, but so funny to picture either one of them giving it a shot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOIlA9s6QxE

Works Cited

Kincaid, Jamaica. “Girl.” At the Bottom of the River, Farrar Straus Giroux, 1983, pp. 3-5.

MadTGuans. “Benna (Antigua Soca 2014) Showcasing Beautiful People Mas Band”, YouTube, 11 August 2014, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOIlA9s6QxE

“Writing Dynamic Characters: A Checklist”. NY Book Editors, 2020, nybookeditors.com/2013/10/dynamic-characters/

Writing, Longform

Believable Language: In 3 John Green YA Novels

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Authors of young adult fiction have the difficult task of creating characters, situations, and dialogue that teenagers will believe. If a novel’s plot is boring, the characters lack development, or the dialogue sounds fake, teenagers are quick to toss the book aside and look for a different author. However, once an author captures their hearts, young adults create a loyal fan-base who will read every book the writer produces and pass them among friends like contraband. John Green has successfully built just such a fan base. An analysis of three of his novels reveals the techniques he uses to create a reality that young adults will believe using language that is authentic to their worldview. Looking for Alaska is one of Green’s earliest books, Turtles All The Way Down one of his newest, and An Abundance of Katherines one of his most unique. Each contains myriad examples of masterful writing to which teenagers connect.

One method is invented vocabulary through methods of functional shifting, combining, reanalysis, clipping, and suffixing. Another is changing syntax by manipulating the expected word order to indicate southern diction, English as a second language, and creative thinking. In the area of semantics, Green creates meaning using a variety of registers within different specializations, word choices with teen-geared connotations, and vague wording to leave meaning ambiguous at times when the characters are being mysterious. He also uses word choices to indicate various socio-economic classes of people and audience-specific dialogue that incorporates youthful diction and slang.  John Green utilizes invented vocabulary, syntax, and semantic strategies in his novels to successfully appeal to young adults. 

The use of invented vocabulary speaks to youth because people in this stage challenge rules and push boundaries, a sort of “verbal revolution” to quote Walt Whitman (Curzan 120). Green capitalizes on this invention of words to make young adults feel connected to his writing. In Looking for Alaska, Miles says he has come to boarding school “looking for a Great Perhaps” (Alaska 219). Changing perhaps from its usual part of speech as an adverb to a proper noun is a creative way of connecting the main character to a sense of adventure as he begins his search for meaning in life.  At another point, Miles says he uses “the friend card” which is a popular phrase taking the noun friend and shifting it to use as an adjective (Alaska 77). Then Alaska calls Miles a “perv”, a clipping of the word pervert (Alaska 41). At the boarding school, Alaska invents the name of their favorite meal “a deep-fried bean burrito, the bufriedo” by combining the words burrito, fried, and beans. Miles goes on to talk about “savoring the bean-y crunch” and creates the word bean-y by suffixing or adding a y to the end of the word (Alaska 22).  Some of the most entertaining inventions are the reanalysis of common sayings. At one point when discussing the destruction of Alaska’s books that she bought at garage sales, Miles says, “Ashes to Ashes. Garage sale to garage sale,” rather than stating the oft-quoted ashes to ashes; dust to dust (Alaska 154). At another point Miles mixes the sayings switch conversations and change horses midstream using reanalysis to claim that Alaska tended to “switch conversational horses midstream” (Alaska 53).

John Green plays with syntax in An Abundance of Katherines to show the speech patterns of an elderly man named Starnes from Tennessee who was born and raised in the country. He says, “Hollis…took good care of us every one” (Katherines 81). The usual word order for Standard English is took good care of every one of us. Placing the indefinite pronouns at the end of the sentence is more common among southern dialects of years past. Green also uses changes in word order to indicate broken English. Hassan pretends he is French and tells some girls that Colin has Tourette’s by saying, “He has the disease with the talking…I do not know how you say in English” (Katherines 52). He is trying to be funny but characteristic of English language learners who sometimes rearrange words and leave out words necessary to form complete sentences.

Green also permits characters to order their words interestingly to indicate intellect and creative/poetic thinking. In Turtles All the Way Down, Davis is a creative poet and writes with unique syntax for a teenager. One computer entry reads, “My mother’s footsteps/were so quiet/I barely heard her leave.” Placing the footsteps of his mother at the beginning of the poem creates more poignant imagery at the end when the reader realizes the mother is no longer around. Another says, “Gravity differs from affection: only one is constant” (Turtles 189). This quote could be put simply, Gravity is constant, but affection is fickle. Davis’s wording sets up a contrast that is meant to be pondered prior to providing an open-ended answer following the colon to ponder some more. In another entry, Davis types in response to Shakespeare’s quote Doubt that the sun doth move, “It dothn’t move…not around us…Who knows what lies I believe…Who knows what we shouldn’t doubt” (Turtles 207-208). This could be written, Our faith may be unfounded. Things we doubt might be true. His method is more creative and permits the reader to play with the words, mulling them over for meaning.

Linguistic social markers are another technique Green uses to indicate different classes of people. In Turtles All the Way Down when a lawyer for a wealthy family is speaking, his diction is crisp and word choice selective. “Your concern is admirable, Ms. Holmes, but I assure you that everything is cared for…Do you have any other questions of pertinence to your situation” (Turtles 127). The attorney says pertinence which could be considered within his legal register of terminology and is a variation as he could have just as easily said simpler synonyms for a teenage audience (he was speaking to a teenager at the time.) Contrast his speech with Daisy’s. She is a poor teenager who hustles to get anything she wants and fills her sentences with slang, cursing, and different grammatical structures. Her vernacular is a stereotype of underprivileged teenagers. “You got a car and a laptop and all that shit, and you think it’s natural. You think it’s just normal to have a house with your own room and a mom who helps with your homework” (Turtles 216). 

When demonstrating the intellect of a psychiatrist, Green gives Dr. Singh the ability to recall quotes from a philosopher in Latin. This ability in speech is a social marker of being well-educated in American society. “A fuller formation of Descartes’s philosophy would be Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum. I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am” (Turtles 166). Along the same vein, when a teenager from a rich family is discussing a painting in his mansion, he shortens the name of the artist (Kerry James Marshall) in question to initials. This familiarity with an artist’s work implies wealth and privilege.  “I really love KJM’s work” (Turtles 100). He also invites his friends to watch a movie in his home theater. He uses a word most teenagers have never uttered in the context of a home service. “When I was a kid, we had to have a projectionist come out, but now it’s all digital” (Turtles 98). These are indicators that his social experiences are quite different from the other teenagers in the book. In An Abundance of Katherines Hassan’s humor and intellect are demonstrated in the following exchange when he is invited to say “grace” in a Christian home, despite the fact that he is Muslim:

“Hassan cleared his throat. Bismillah.
Then he picked up his fork.That’s it? Hollis wondered.
That’s it. We are a terse people. Terse, and also hungry” (Katherines 62).

Average teenagers do not tend to use a word like terse. A more common phrase might be we don’t talk a lot.

More examples of slang and teenage diction in Green’s work permit young adult readers to connect with the characters. In An Abundance of Katherines, Hassan says, “Sup?” instead of What is up? (Katherines 128). Lindsey says, “I’m a’ight,” instead of I am alright (Katherines 99). At one point when Colin is being awakened by a rooster crowing Cock-a-doodle-do, Colin responds in typical annoyance. His witty response; however, is less than typical. “Cock-a-doodle-don’t, Motherfugger” (Katherines 77). The connotations of his invented words are obviously negative. In Looking for Alaska Takumi refers to the authorities with the slang term pig that is sometimes used in reference to the police. “The pigs can’t stop the fox” (Alaska 106). The group of teens make up names for each other, their cars, and different locations as young people are known to do. They call McDonald’s “McInedible” (Alaska 76). The leader of their group is called The Colonel, the authority figure who catches them and has the power to expel them is called The Eagle, and the skinny main character is ironically called Pudge. Green uses these name choices to show the way young people play with language and make it their own.          

One character in Looking for Alaska named Alaska is described as moody and is meant to be mysterious, her motivations and goals unknown. The reader is left trying to solve her like a puzzle. The 1st person limited narrator Miles makes the interesting point about her, “…the way her mouth curled up on the right side all the time, like she was preparing to smirk, like she’d mastered the right half of the Mona Lisa’s inimitable smile…” (Alaska 30). He alludes to a mesmerizing painting, the subject of which has created generations to guess what that smile is about. The narrator is also perplexed in another scene by Alaska’s mood swings and thinks, “How could the girl who told that joke three hours before become a sobbing mess” (Alaska 86)? During a game, Alaska is supposed to describe the best day of her life. “Best day of my life was January 9, 1997. I was eight years old, and my mom and I went to the zoo on a class trip” (Alaska 115). When a friend tries to get to know her better and find out how she is, Alaska responds, “I’m really not up for questions that start with how, when, where, why, or what” (Alaska 68). When confronted by a confused friend who says, “I don’t get you,” she responds with, “You never get me. That’s the whole point” (Alaska 55). Green uses vague descriptions and non-committal vocabulary to keep the Alaska character a mystery for the other characters and the reader.  

The ability to create realistic characters who can play with language as they speak with authentic teen dialogue and about topics young adults care about is what makes John Green’s books relatable. Readers are drawn into the minds and hearts of each person and the relationships they build while they struggle to make sense of the chaos of life. The universal questions tackled by Green are balanced with humor and enough teenage nonsense to keep the books from seeming pretentious. Miles says at the end of Looking for Alaska “I came here looking for the Great Perhaps…maybe the afterlife is just something we made up to ease the pain of loss…Thomas Edison’s last words were: It’s very beautiful over there.  I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful” (Alaska 220-221). The invented vocabulary, syntax and semantic choices John Green uses in his novels combine to create works that appeal to young adult readers due to authenticity and the ability to connect to teenage concerns.

Works Cited

Curzan, Anne and Michael P. Adams. How English works : a linguistic introduction – 3rd ed. p.cm. Glenview, IL: Pearson Education, Inc., 2012.

Flood, Alison. “John Green:  Having OCD is an Ongoing Part of my Life.” The Guardian. 14 October, 2017, www.theguardian.com/books/2017/oct/14/john-green-turtles-all-the-way-down-ocd-interview.

Green, John.  An Abundance of Katherines. Dutton and Speak, 2006.

Green, John. Looking For Alaska. Dutton Juvenile, 2005.

Green, John.  Turtles All The Way Down. Dutton Penguin, 2017.

Hurst, Mary Jane. The VOICE of the CHILD in American Literature: Linguistic Approaches to Fictional Child Language. The University Press of Kentucky, 1990.

Mohamed, Dr. Theresa. “Learning Modules”, Eng-550-Q4588 Grad Studies in English Lang 20TW4, Southern New Hampshire University, 2020, learn.snhu.edu/d2l/home/398756.

Nilsen, Aleen Pace; Donelson, Kenneth L. Literature for Today’s Young Adults, 8th Edition. Pearson, 2009.

Palmer, Iva-Marie. “Why John Green Just Gets It.” Teen, Brightly: Raise Kids Who Love to Read, www.readbrightly.com/john-green-just-gets/

Rozema, Robert. “The Problem of Autism in Young Adult Fiction.” Language Arts Journal of Medicine, v. 30, issue 1, art. 7, 2014.

Longform, Writing

Agatha Blum Character Biography

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Agatha Blum is a 70-year-old triplet who tends to her youngest triplet sister Edith (a stroke victim) and drives for a ride sharing company. She says it is for extra spending money, but it is also her escape from the responsibilities of her household. She is the oldest of the three identical triplets but is not speaking to the middle triplet Capitola, whose offense is as yet unknown (the characters must reveal what happened to cause such a rift.) Capitola comes to help care for their sister Edith, but all communication goes through Edith because Capitola and Agatha are not speaking. She also has a baby sister named Roxy (short for Roxeanne) who is 56 and lives the next town over. She will come help with Edith, as well, but is not quite as reliable and has twice given Edith the wrong medications. Agatha is married to a mostly deaf man named Robert who refuses to wear hearing aids and likes to watch the television turned up so loudly that it drives everyone crazy. They live in a small country town outside of Austin, Texas and are all native to the state.

Agatha is unhappy with her situation but believes in making the best of circumstances. Her husband Robert is a retired school maintenance man and keeps the house in good repair, so she figures that is good enough as far as their marriage is concerned. They are able to live off his retirement fairly well, especially since her parents left them the house and property when they passed. Agatha and Robert started a family right after she graduated high school in 1969 and she was a stay-at-home mother until the last of her three children went off to college. Then she began doing volunteer work and odd jobs trying to find something that she enjoyed. She enrolled in a few college courses, but she was miserable in a classroom. The only thing that brought her joy was driving back country roads listening to 60’s music like The Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Beach Boys, and Aretha Franklin with the dogs hanging their heads out the windows.

Agatha grew up comfortably with parents who were overwhelmed by having triplets but did their best to instill discipline and provide a loving environment. She is a member of the local church, but her attendance has dropped off in recent years. Her husband still attends but has given up pressuring her to go and simply tells people she is home taking care of her sister. When people from the church visit her and Edith, she is welcoming but has begun to question many of her own long-held beliefs. She keeps her thoughts to herself because she does not want to cause ripples of conflict in her family. The only chance she gets to speak freely is with strangers she gives rides to through the ride sharing app. She has three adult daughters, five granddaughters, and four great-granddaughters. Her sisters each have daughters, as well. No one in her immediate family has ever had a boy.

Agatha is afraid her sister Edith will die. Even worse, Agatha is afraid her sister Edith will not recover fully and will remain dependent on her forever. Agatha feels guilty for not wanting to continue to care for Edith, but also feels that it is her duty because she was given the house and property by her parents knowing that they expected her as the oldest to continue to look after the family. She does not want to be in the matriarchal role she has been assigned and wants to hop in her car and drive away, never to be heard from again. She is hurt by the rift with Capitola, worried about her 2nd oldest granddaughter who has developed an opioid addiction, her middle daughter Imogene who seems lonely and depressed, and her baby sister Roxy who is separated from her 5th husband and struggling to find her footing.  

Longform, Writing

Reflecting on Creating a Writing Space (John August & Aline Brosh McKenna as Inspiration)

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John August Differences

August uses a white board to explore and make a big mess connecting all the characters and mapping their relationships. August points out that after he has pictured the scene over and over again, then he gets it onto paper as fast as possible and it may appear as gibberish, bare bones, with awful dialogue.  Besides using a standing desk to help with focus, he types on a bent broken keyboard to type sideways and spare his wrists. He tends to write whatever scene appeals to him and skips around a lot. Though he writes the very end early on so he knows the destination, his main focus is on the middle. He likes to write about people navigating between two worlds.

Aline Brosh McKenna Differences

McKenna sets specific goals for herself to feel that she has completed real work in a day. She needs an expanse of time that she is alone and able to “do her thing.” She says that she only has a few good ideas a year. She sees creativity as giving sudden birth to the idea and then has to work on it from there. It may come out fully formed, but other times it may need some work or you may need to start over. When she is ready to write the outline for her movie, she creates bullet points of all key scenes on big paper in three acts. She prefers to take the big paper to show people her idea instead of using cards. McKenna thinks it is more important to write something authentic than to worry about if it has ever been done before. For her, creativity happens due to habitual, consistent practice.

John August & Aline Brosh McKenna Similarities

Both writers work in office spaces they have designated for their craft. McKenna points out that she is able to get more done without the distractions of domestic life fighting for attention. Both writers use big spaces to initially plan their movie ideas. Both work at standing desks often. Both start with bare bones and end up handwriting the ideas after brainstorming. Both picture the movie in their head before writing it down. Both say they get many ideas, but only a few end up being really usable.

Ideas I will use

After watching these videos, I recommitted to setting up my writing space to make it more accessible for after my hip surgery and more user-friendly to make writing in the space productive. My husband and cousin worked all day Saturday with me to clean, sort, and declutter. Then they moved all of the heavy furniture around in our bedroom to create a corner with open-floor access to both my bed, the exit, and the restroom. I am quite pleased with the results and am currently working on this assignment in my new office. I love the idea of writing on large paper and am going to purchase some this week online. I am envisioning putting it on my wall next to my desk as I work and adding elements as I brainstorm. I plan to outline the bullet points of my movie like McKenna, which is already a technique I have used in writing. However, I am going to give myself permission to work on whichever scenes appeal to me the most, rather than feeling like I have to go in order, like August suggests. I am excited to give that a try.

Works Cited

“Creative Spark: Aline Brosh McKenna.” Academy Originals. YouTube. 14 July, 2014,www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=aE_BekA3GWE&list=PLsruNZel-SDQj6OIG7M8uFzSGX6SMa3iS&index=16

“Creative Spark: John August.” Academy Originals. YouTube. 1 Dec 2014, http://www.youtube.com/ watch?app=desktop&v=EbngAEH5Lis

Writing, Longform

Beat Sheet and Logline Hand of God

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The Beat Sheet

Opening Image:  1986, darkness, blizzard, small wooden building mostly buried, barely visible light on a roof covered by snow in Antarctica.

Theme Stated:  Being trapped together can bring out the worst in people.

The Setup: Two men have been snowed in together for months in Antarctica (Alvaro – Argentinian and Graham – Brit.) They are playing an ongoing chess game as they talk.

The Catalyst: Argument over Argentina victory over England World Cup 1986.

Debate:  Hand of God argument/accusation

Break Into Act II: Dreaming of home

B Story: Discussions of home always bring out competition between the men and their prospective countries.

Fun and Games: Haley’s comet was lame (Alvaro’s argument) v. discovery of ozone hole was a victory (Graham’s argument)

Midpoint: Graham can’t take it anymore. He is going crazy and knocks over the chess board and shouts (There’s the hand of God for you!)

The Bad Guys Close In or Conflict Intensifies: Alvaro drinks the last New Coke.

All Is Lost: Graham raves and carries on because he can’t stand Alvaro and his constant teeth sucking, toe knuckle cracking, and snoring.

Dark Night of the Soul: Alvaro tries to calm Graham with stories of his childhood, reminders that there is only about a month to go before sunlight returns.

Break Into Act III:  The calm before the storm

The Finale: Alvaro decides to read a book from their small library and Graham gives away the ending. Alvaro grabs an ice pick and attacks Graham.

Final Image: Alvaro reading his book in silence, blood splatter on his face, mumbles something about the (hand of God)

The Logline

Alvaro is determined to survive an Antarctic winter snowed in with a young man who is coming unhinged.