Dust more valuable than gold,
treasures worth their weight
in memory.
Antique steamer trunks
stacked at the foot of the bed
hold space, time –
capsules layered with matter.
I have been buying trunks on Marketplace to use as storage. I never liked the plastic totes and cardboard boxes I used to keep my items in. These feel full of mystery and history. They even inspire poetry.
I have always wondered why Hermione was placed in Gryffindor. She is clearly a Ravenclaw. Then I started thinking about the fact that I am Ravenclaw despite wishing to be Hufflepuff. The sorting hat must have known she needed Harry and Ron more than other smarty-pants people surrounding her. There are the people we are, the people we want to be, and the people we can become given the right influences and circumstances.
I let this blogsite get cancelled a while back because I did not have available funds to pay for it. Thankfully, when I was able to return, my information and domain name were still available. I was not so lucky with my other publishing website. I have to start over from scratch on that one.
But I feel okay about it all. A fresh start might give me a fresh perspective and kick me into gear with my self-publishing journey once again. It is NanoWrimo time and I have a great novel idea. I have moved to a a multi-generational home and quit teaching. I am focusing on my health and now have more time and energy to devote to my passions.
Would I have expected to be here if anyone had asked me a decade ago? Absolutely not. I could not have planned to be sorted into the family or house I am currently enjoying. Nor could I have foreseen the two ladies with whom I would be sitting here watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I found them through a chain of events I did not orchestrate.
Perhaps things come to us when and if the time is right if we are open to their arrival. We have to put in the footwork and be willing to accept the call, but maybe forces beyond our control are working on our behalf. I know it sounds a little woo-woo, especially when things are not going smoothly in life. And I may not feel this way when the next storm hits. However, it feels nice to think my wand has chosen me, that great things are in store, and just the right friends and family are by my side to battle the darkness.
Photo by Karolina Grabowska: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-sitting-on-the-couch-wiping-her-sweat-with-tissue-7195033/
It has been a year to the day since my last post and I am in a very different place emotionally. Last year, I was much more hopeful and excited about healing, beginning a new school year, finishing my Master’s, and the restful summer I had experienced. Today, I am tired…tired of the Texas heat, tired of dealing with the nonsense required in the teaching field, tired of living paycheck to paycheck, tired of being unable to afford the medical care I need to be healthy and thrive, tired of not having the time or energy to write.
I have decided that I do not like the road I am traveling and need to make some changes. I have wished and dreamed of making change but kept my focus on priorities that are not in line with the reality of the new adventures I want to pursue. I hereby declare that I am no longer putting energy into goals that line up with my previous pursuits. I am going to do what is required of me day to day to meet my obligations, but I am going to reserve the purist, most energetic, liveliest parts of myself for my creative pursuits and begin in earnest to create the reality I yearn for.
All I know is that I want to work remotely, write, be creative, and make enough money to be comfortable and pay for my medical needs. I’m putting it out there and beginning my journey. I’m tired of being tired.
(Photo by David Mao on Unsplash)
I have had a wonderful summer of healing from hip replacement surgery, finishing my Master’s degree in English and Creative Writing, taking long restful naps, and sipping tea while I immerse myself in story.
Tomorrow I return to work sharing my passion for the written word with others as an English Literary Arts and Reading teacher to secondary students (grades 6-12.) My goal this school year is to foster a classroom that encourages both reading and writing as methods of discovery, escape, healing, and growth. Whether the students decide to join me on this journey is another story. I will share weekly moments of triumph and failure as the year unfolds. This will be my 23rd year in education, but my first year of approaching the subject matter in this way. I am excited about the opportunity to try something new.
Wish my students and me luck! It should be quite the adventure.
If the Goblet of Fire
spits out your name
expect to face dragons
and battle sea creatures
You’re doomed if you do
and doomed if you don’t
for the game is rigged
and no one really wins
Contenders end up in a
graveyard of darkness
Save who you can
as you fight for your life
because you will face
suffering greater than any
you have ever known
Persist through the mazes
of self-doubt and despair
Stay true to your values
remember your friends
Speak truth to oppressors
stare down the barrel
of hatred’s unrepentance
to earn peace in the end
This poem was written during a Harry Potter marathon with my friend Debbie M. while watching the fourth movie Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
What is your greatest fear?
Finish it with silliness.
Spiders stumbling in roller skates,
tyrants donning absurd apparel,
cobras turned jack-in-the-box,
full moon a deflating balloon.
A bit of whimsy bordering on
nonsense disarms the boogeyman.
Don’t wait for your father –
he’s not coming.
Save yourself with joy,
for laughter is fear’s nemesis.
This poem was written during a Harry Potter marathon with my friend Debbie M. while watching the third movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
The key
to opening
my chamber
of secrets
is consistency.
Showing oneself
worthy of trust,
a companion
who arrives.
There is something
to be said for
presence,
the constant knowing
that someone can
be counted on
to exist
when others
are virtual.
This poem was written during a Harry Potter marathon with my friend Debbie M. while watching the second movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
What would stare back
from the Mirror of Erised
should the chance arise
to gaze into that smooth pane?
Only the deepest desires
of the heart reveal themselves;
neither knowledge or truth
reside in the likeness.
It is said that the happiest
on earth would see themselves
exactly as they are, no magic
greater than reality.
Do the broken-hearted souls
whose sad countenances
look longingly for the lost
ever make peace with reflections?
This poem was written during a Harry Potter marathon with my friend Debbie M. while watching the first movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.
Image credits – The Mirror of Erised by Daan van Genechten (Harry Potter Illustration) https://www.artstation.com/artwork/bKgG0g
I think I’m addicted to procedural detective shows. I am binge-watching Chicago P.D. right now and it is not even that well-written. What is the allure? The fact that they always catch the criminal? That my favorite characters always get into tricky situations and then fight their way out, doing the right thing in the end? The forbidden romances between the team members? I have no clue what has hooked me, but summer 2021 is all about solving the crimes while I recuperate from hip surgery.
What I do know is that every single one of these investigators should be in jail for their lack of following procedures, mistreatment of people they arrest, and deceptive practices. I hope real policing is not as corrupt as depicted on these shows because it is icky!
I am happy to announce that great progress has been made in the last year. I have earned my Master’s Degree in English and Creative Writing, my grandchildren have been reunited with their parents, I finally had hip surgery, and I made it through the year teaching despite COVID. It has been a wild ride, but things are looking up. I see the glimmers of feeling better and stronger on the horizon. I am certainly more confident about my passion for writing and my commitment to making a career for myself in the literary field.
Here’s to constant improvement, even if it looks like barely any progress is being made. It is okay to tiptoe out of comfort zones, take teeny tiny baby steps toward goals, and spend tons of time researching options before picking the next right thing. This journey is not a race.
rebekahjmarshall 