Everyone around me is sick – my fiance, my daughter, my granddaughter…even my cat.  I kid you not, two kids threw up in my classroom today.  Germs are having a heyday right now for some reason.  Hopefully, my body has recuperated from my last illness enough to fight off these latest bugs.  It must be a variety of illnesses, because everyone’s symptoms are different.  Some of them have sore throats, congestion, fever.  Others have laryngitis, bloodshot eyes, lack of appetite. Then there are those throw-uppers.  What’s that about?

Needless to say, I find myself suddenly in the role of nurse…not my finest hour.  There is a reason I did not go into the medical profession.  Whatever that spark of empathy is that medical personnel have that makes them want to help people with snotty noses, whimpering in pain, or vomiting their guts out…I did not get that gene.  I was not the cookies and kisses and booboo bunny kind of mom with my kids.  They went to their dad for that nurturing.  I was the “you’re not bleeding, you’re ok, can you bend it?, here’s some ice, please make it to the toilet next time” kind of parent. It meant I was calm in a crisis and could get them to the emergency room if need be while their dad was paralyzed by empathetic grief-pain, but it never endeared me to anyone as a good nurse.

I’m trying to do better.  I made my fiance dinner (which he did not eat despite repeatedly saying he was hungry and needed nourishment).  I offered to take his puppy Aiko to get her shots so he wouldn’t wear himself out.  He refused and took her, wore himself out, and could barely crawl back into bed.  I had to practically force my daughter to let me take her to the doctor because she was beginning to look like a skeleton, had eaten nothing in days, and was not getting better.  She wanted to just stay in bed and get progressively worse until she shriveled up and died…despite the fact that she is nursing my granddaughter and kind of needs to live.

That is when it hit me.  I can’t nurse well because people suck at being patients.  You are suppose to do what the nurse says, take your medicine, drink your fluids, stay in bed, and follow doctor’s orders.  I get sick a lot and deal with chronic pain, fibromyalgia, arthritis, injuries (due to clumsiness and overdoing it) and I am a very good patient.  I take every last dose of antibiotics if (GOD forbid) I am prescribed them.  I do every last painful stretch or exercise any physical therapist assigns me.  Even when I was at my worst and had to go to the hospital with food poisoning, they were surprised that I only needed one bag of fluids.  A nurse told me to push fluids, so I continued drinking even though every single sip was torture.  I follow directions.  I can’t help these people get well.  I can’t fix their ailments.  I guess all I can do is try to offer some comfort.

My fiance wants to know what I am doing right this second.  He said he wants me to come hold him while he sleeps.  Um…we are going to have to find a compromise.  This nurse might be able to offer a foot rub.  Then I’ve got to get back to my real imaginary job…writing.