Tag Archives: Writing

A Year Has Passed

Photo by Karolina Grabowska: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-sitting-on-the-couch-wiping-her-sweat-with-tissue-7195033/

It has been a year to the day since my last post and I am in a very different place emotionally. Last year, I was much more hopeful and excited about healing, beginning a new school year, finishing my Master’s, and the restful summer I had experienced. Today, I am tired…tired of the Texas heat, tired of dealing with the nonsense required in the teaching field, tired of living paycheck to paycheck, tired of being unable to afford the medical care I need to be healthy and thrive, tired of not having the time or energy to write.

I have decided that I do not like the road I am traveling and need to make some changes. I have wished and dreamed of making change but kept my focus on priorities that are not in line with the reality of the new adventures I want to pursue. I hereby declare that I am no longer putting energy into goals that line up with my previous pursuits. I am going to do what is required of me day to day to meet my obligations, but I am going to reserve the purist, most energetic, liveliest parts of myself for my creative pursuits and begin in earnest to create the reality I yearn for.

All I know is that I want to work remotely, write, be creative, and make enough money to be comfortable and pay for my medical needs. I’m putting it out there and beginning my journey. I’m tired of being tired.

Last Day of Summer Break

(Photo by David Mao on Unsplash)

I have had a wonderful summer of healing from hip replacement surgery, finishing my Master’s degree in English and Creative Writing, taking long restful naps, and sipping tea while I immerse myself in story.

Tomorrow I return to work sharing my passion for the written word with others as an English Literary Arts and Reading teacher to secondary students (grades 6-12.) My goal this school year is to foster a classroom that encourages both reading and writing as methods of discovery, escape, healing, and growth. Whether the students decide to join me on this journey is another story. I will share weekly moments of triumph and failure as the year unfolds. This will be my 23rd year in education, but my first year of approaching the subject matter in this way. I am excited about the opportunity to try something new.

Wish my students and me luck! It should be quite the adventure.

Goblet of Fire

If the Goblet of Fire

spits out your name

expect to face dragons

and battle sea creatures

You’re doomed if you do

and doomed if you don’t

for the game is rigged

and no one really wins

Contenders end up in a

graveyard of darkness

Save who you can

as you fight for your life

because you will face

suffering greater than any

you have ever known

Persist through the mazes

of self-doubt and despair

Stay true to your values

remember your friends

Speak truth to oppressors

stare down the barrel

of hatred’s unrepentance

to earn peace in the end

 

This poem was written during a Harry Potter marathon with my friend Debbie M. while watching the fourth movie Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. 

Finish Your Boggart

What is your greatest fear?

Finish it with silliness.

Spiders stumbling in roller skates,

tyrants donning absurd apparel,

cobras turned jack-in-the-box,

full moon a deflating balloon.

A bit of whimsy bordering on

nonsense disarms the boogeyman.

Don’t wait for your father –

he’s not coming.

Save yourself with joy,

for laughter is fear’s nemesis.

 

This poem was written during a Harry Potter marathon with my friend Debbie M. while watching the third movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. 

Chamber of Secrets

The key

to opening

my chamber

of secrets

is consistency.

Showing oneself

worthy of trust,

a companion

who arrives.

There is something

to be said for

presence,

the constant knowing

that someone can

be counted on

to exist

when others

are virtual.

 

This poem was written during a Harry Potter marathon with my friend Debbie M. while watching the second movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. 

Celebrations!

Photo by Zoran Nikolic from FreeImages

I am happy to announce that great progress has been made in the last year. I have earned my Master’s Degree in English and Creative Writing, my grandchildren have been reunited with their parents, I finally had hip surgery, and I made it through the year teaching despite COVID. It has been a wild ride, but things are looking up. I see the glimmers of feeling better and stronger on the horizon. I am certainly more confident about my passion for writing and my commitment to making a career for myself in the literary field. 

Here’s to constant improvement, even if it looks like barely any progress is being made. It is okay to tiptoe out of comfort zones, take teeny tiny baby steps toward goals, and spend tons of time researching options before picking the next right thing. This journey is not a race.

Home for Health

(Illustration: Sarah Grillo/Axiosa)

My grandchildren and I have settled into a nice routine over the last few weeks.  We get up early to eat and play, do homeschool and play some more.  The weather has been either rainy or cool for the most part, so outside time can occur whenever they like.  They play on the porch when it rains.  The only weather we cannot tolerate is hot.  Living in Texas ensures that the outdoors are inaccessible at least 3 months out of the year.

I have begun my master’s degree in Creative Writing and am enjoying the topics of discussion thus far.  We are studying the way new words get added to our vocabulary.  Some I think are of note are Rona for Coronavirus, skurt for go, and beat for applying makeup.  I find the evolution of language fascinating.  I am always interested in how words come about and why certain ones stick. I’m sure these are familiar to some, but I had never heard them until this year.

Teaching my actual students from home has gone great so far.  I have only been asked to send little amounts of work on paper up until now.  Beginning next week, I will teach some Zoom lessons…at least we are going to experiment with it!  We shall see how it goes.

Another exciting leap I took was joining an online meditation/writing group.  I love it!  After meditating and relaxing, my writing flows so much better and I am getting back to my craft.  I recommend writing and sharing with others once in a while.  It is very motivating!

Waking up from discouragement…

My last post was in October.  I reported that I had not written since authority figures in my life slammed me with judgment, censorship, and criticism…not only of my writing, but my discernment as a human being and professional.

Now my job is in jeopardy–not connected to my writing, politics above my station.  I am working from home due to the coronavirus and quarantine and all that bizarreness that is occurring in this world right now.

I have also taken in grandchildren temporarily while adult children fix their worlds.  I’ve had a winter of sickness and slow recovery.  I’ve battled a time of sadness.  And I’ve applied to begin working on my master’s degree.  Big things are happening.

And all I want to do is write…and read…and write some more.  Enough pouting, sulking, brooding, etc.  It is time to get back to finding my joy.  I cannot be derailed by others whose opinions I don’t even value anyway.  It has certainly not been a conscious decision to take a sabbatical from writing, but that is what has occurred.  And it has not been good for me.

Here and now, I resolve to get back to writing.  I declare this time of non-writing ended.   Rebekah the writer is back.

Discouragement

I had what felt like a setback last week.  I can’t really go into detail, but was required to remove my books from a library, change aspects of said book, and accept feedback I did not want to hear from people I did not want to hear it from.  Sigh…

I have allowed this incident to discourage me to the point that I have not written since then.  I sat down with a cup of tea and tried to write a poem this morning and couldn’t get through it.   Now it is almost bedtime and this post will have to do as my attempt at putting myself back into writer mode.  A blog at least counts as something.

I know many writers have faced discouragement, rejection, rewrites, and edits that destroy the soul of the work.    They have to pull themselves out of funks and get back to the craft.  And I will.  I am temporarily in mourning.  This depression will not get the best of me.  It is simply a detour on my journey.  I will find my way back.  This post is a start.

Descent Book Review

I read the novel Descent on a whim at the recommendation of a coworker and a student in one of my summer classes.  It was a page-turner to rival the likes of James Patterson.  What I wasn’t expecting was the surprisingly intricate prose.  I was reminded of F. Scott Fitzgerald.

The subject matter was dark, but written gorgeously. While on vacation in the mountains, a teenage girl goes on a run with her younger brother following on a bike for protection.  Disastrously, the brother is injured and the girl is kidnapped.  This is not too much of a spoiler since it occurs in the first few pages of the novel.  The rest of the book is varying accounts told from the perspectives of each family member (and others) spanning several years of searching for the girl, dealing with life without her, and hoping she’s still alive.

The characters are well-developed and each of their motivations, fears, and doubts is picked apart like clues at a crime scene.  Several themes that stood out for me were the ways in which we cope with tragedy, the power of survival instinct, and the lengths we go to for those we love.

Some of the scenes were too intense, gruesome, and mature for children.  One brutal rape scene in particular is much too graphic to be allowed in my psych facility school library.    But that intensity is part of what made the book hard to put down.

This DESCENT into depravity is paired with breathtaking views of snow-capped mountains, deep ravines, and forests.  Whether by escape, rescue, or death, the reader needs resolution of some kind, any kind, which makes the book impossible to put down.