We had a meeting in the kitchen. I cried and scrubbed the stove. You told me to take better care of myself. I scraped burnt cabbage and tomato sauce off a pan. You left a cabinet open. I cried some more. You played with the wind chimes. I said how much I miss our chats. You comforted me.
I bought some of that pheromone perfume to make my husband love me; turns out, I don’t need it. I’m the whole package and seem to be his cup of tea. Because my hips are as wide as the Himalayas and other assets ample, as well, I need reminders that for some men, an ample shape can be pleasing as hell. The culture I was raised in prized a female form with less meat on the bones; that leaves a stain on the heart that’s hard to shake— dispatched to friend zones. So, I’ll probably keep buying the latest aphrodisiacs and pretty things on TikTok shop, even though my husband thinks I’m beautiful and feels no need to window shop.
@Home Studio – 114th poem of the year
Runner ups for the full-figured white girl photos to accompany my poem:
A black and white image slowly forms in developing solution. A woman emerges with unkempt hair and the same gown she’s been wearing for several days. The dampness permeating her garments and droplets beading on her hair clue her in that she is standing outside in the elements. She was meant to be completing a task, doing something important. Awareness dawns that she has not been well for a while now, how long is undetermined, vague, but the lifting fog begins to reveal color, just hints of expression, a reminder that there is life beyond the slog of slow-motion survival she has been swimming through indefinitely unmoored. The awakening is gradual, subtle, and incremental, yet essential.
A caterpillar is scooting along, minding her own business, munching on leaves and feeling the cool breeze, when she suddenly has a thought; “What if I could fly away?” All her life she’s crawled along, inched on her belly, viewed the world from below. How does she even begin to imagine the possibility of flight, envision a different future than the one she has always known? A gentle gnawing that begins in her belly and slowly creeps its way incrementally to the tip of consciousness tells her to cocoon herself in safety, wall herself away from the scary change that will come if she lets herself dream too big. And there she remains, turning in on herself, visualizing a new way of being, letting the idea of a new reality wash through her like rain and pain, and the strain of the old self transforming becomes nearly unbearable. That is when the miracle happens… new life unfurls, wings stretch heavenward, there is an impulse to leap, to flap, to throw fear to the sky, and become who she is meant to be.
Runner ups for the caterpillar lightbulb photos to accompany my poem:
Don’t you wonder what the animals do when we aren’t watching their every single move? Do they drive our cars and talk on our phones, eat at our restaurants or take out bank loans? Maybe they wear clothes and chew bubble gum, carry around umbrellas and play a snare drum. Do they smoke cigarettes and walk on the streets, wear sleek looking hats and sleep on soft sheets? Perhaps they laugh at us while telling lame jokes, then pretend ignorance; it’s all a big hoax. Yes, the animals out there are living double lives, staring blankly at us, giving each other high fives.
Runner ups for the magical animals photos to accompany my poem: