Tag Archives: Health

What is to be done? – (Day 19)

March 12, 2016 rebekahjmarshall 4 Comments

Today’s assignment is the completion of yesterday’s complaints/grievances. I was supposed to consider anything I could do to improve any of those areas.

Pain – I have been trying everything suggested to manage my pain. I will continue to try different things until I find an answer. At this moment, I do not have a satisfactory solution. If I had one, I would quickly employ it. I do not want to take medications that could become addictive or have other unhealthy side-affects. I use chiropractic care currently and take some anti-inflammatories when I can barely cope. Ice helps, as does rest. Mostly, I cry, and moan, and shift positions until I can bear the discomfort temporarily.

Excess Weight – I joined Weight Watchers and tried pretty hard for about a month. Then I didn’t try very hard for about a month. I suppose I should try again (I’m stuck for at least another month in order to get one of my months back free.)

Joint Problems – See pain…except that I know I need to get back to my stretching to improve my flexibility.

Too much Housekeeping – I need to streamline my chores, actually do them regularly, ask David to do more, and continue to declutter so there is less to clean.

David’s Dog – I try not to do much related to Aiko. I need to encourage David to get her into obedience training, though.

Low Energy – Not sure on this one. I’m getting enough sleep. Maybe weight loss and less pain could improve the low energy.

Ungrateful Children – Not much I can do here, but I can let my kids know when they have hurt my feelings and set some boundaries when I feel taken advantage of.

Depression – Again, I don’t want to take medication. In the past there have been too many side affects. I think the weight, pain, joint problems, and energy are all connected to the depression.

Unpleasant Hurtful Ex-Husband – There is nothing I can do about this right now. I just continue to take the high road.

Religious Discomfort – I think I need to recommit to prayer time. I am doing some meditation and reading spiritual matters, but feel like prayer is lacking. The discomfort related to my religion of origin may resolve itself someday, but for now, I think I just have to sit with it.

Tight Finances – I am working to try to publish. I am hoping that will be my ticket to more finances so the tightness will disappear.

Taxes – I have set up a payment plan. It will take time.

Unkind People Who Purposely Hurt Others – Nothing I can do there, except speak up when I see it happen.

Bedtime Schedules – I don’t think there is a solution to this. David is a night owl. I like to go to bed early and rise early whenever I can. I need to talk to David and try to problem-solve.

Having to work too much – I am going to publish books. That will be my supplementary income. Then I can just teach and write. I won’t need a second job.

Health, Writing

Complaints – (Day 19)

March 11, 2016 rebekahjmarshall 2 Comments

Today’s assignment is to list complaints/grievances and determine if I can do anything about them.

I found the definition of grievance interesting – a real or imagined cause for complaint. Some of mine are probably imaginary.

Complaints/Grievances: pain, excess weight, joint problems, too much housekeeping, David’s dog, low energy, ungrateful children, depression, unpleasant hurtful ex-husband, religious discomfort, tight finances, taxes, unkind people who purposely hurt others, bedtime schedules (mine and David’s don’t match), having to work too much

It is too overwhelming right now to think of any ways that I can do anything about these complaints/grievances. I’m irritated just listing them. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll consider ways to fix things, but for now I’ll let them sit right where they are…

Health, Writing

Weight Watchers – (Day 18)

March 10, 2016 rebekahjmarshall Leave a comment

My assignment for today was to turn to the person next to me and ask what I should write about. That just so happens to be my husband David. He suggested writing about my disappointment with my body lately via my Weight Watchers program. Those weren’t his exact words, but that was the general gist.

So earlier he asked how my program was going. That is just opening a whole can of worms. Not only have I not been following my program, but tomorrow is weigh in day and I don’t even want to go. I didn’t go last week because I was sick. I had been doing well up until I got sick. Then I couldn’t find anything that would sit well on my stomach for days afterwards. I basically ate whatever tasted good and as much of that as I wanted.

Anyway, that was the beginning of a downward spiral as far as portion control, healthy eating, and tracking what I eat. I have had over a week of eating everything in sight until I actually felt full. Sigh…

I was doing really well for six weeks. I lost seven pounds, was moving around a bit more, and felt like I was making better choices over all. Honestly, though, I was still hungry often and not really satisfied. I felt like I was always on guard, writing down every single thing that went into my mouth, belaboring how many points everything was, and debating the merits of each and every bite. It felt a little neurotic, but at least I wasn’t gaining any more weight.

I am fairly certain that if I go to Weight Watchers tomorrow, I will have gained weight. It will confirm that my natural state of feeling satisfied by food means getting fatter and fatter. So I am sad and discouraged and have basically given up…

Health, Writing

Map My Week – (Day 7)

February 24, 2016 rebekahjmarshall 2 Comments

For today’s assignment, I’m supposed to map out my week to see where most of my time is spent. Um…I think I already know that my time goes to work and sleep for the most part…not very exciting.

Monday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 3.5 hours David time (husband), .5 cleaning

Tuesday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 4 hours Charlotte time (granddaughter)

Wednesday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 3.5 hours David time (husband)/ writing some, .5 cleaning

Thursday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 1 hour driving, 1 hour Weight Watchers, 2 hours WriteHers’ Group

Friday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 3.5 hours David time (husband), .5 cleaning

Saturday – 8.5 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 4 hours friends and family time, .5 cleaning

Sunday – 8.5 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 4 hours David time (husband)/ writing some, .5 cleaning

Totals – 62 hours work, 63 hours sleep, 7 hours hygiene, 7 hours food prep, 2.5 hours cleaning, 18.5 hours David time/writing some, 2 hours WriteHers’ Group, 4 hours friend and family time, 1 hour Weight Watchers, 1 hour driving

Yep…just as I thought. I work too much and have no alone time.

Health, Writing

Receipt Memories – (Day 5)

February 20, 2016 rebekahjmarshall Leave a comment

For today’s assignment, I was supposed to find a receipt and say what I can remember about the day I made the purchase.

My husband and I got in around 1 in the morning after driving home from his martial arts class 3 /12 hours away in Houston. We were exhausted and probably fell asleep by 1:30 or 2:00am. Suddenly, I was awakened by David fiddling with my phone around 3:45am. Because my ringer was silenced, I didn’t know my daughter had been calling and texting for 30 minutes straight. David woke up somehow and alerted me.

She was at the emergency room with heart palpitations brought on by unknown causes. A friend of hers got her to the hospital and my grandmother kept the baby. I sat in the room with her and her friend for a few hours talking, reassuring, and asking the doctors questions they couldn’t answer.

When it became apparent that it was going to be a few more hours before she would be released, the doctors were declaring all the major systems working fine, and her friend was planning to stay with her, I headed home to sleep some more. I was exhausted and running on fumes.

My alarm was set for 9:30am because I had a 10:00am appointment to get my Depo shot. From there I headed to my grandmother’s to check on my daughter and granddaughter. On the way, my Mema asked if I could stop by Walgreens and pick up Lydia’s prescription for an anxiety med. The doctors ruled her episode a panic attack brought on by anxiety. Who knows if that is the real diagnosis. My grandbaby Charlotte was in a great mood, running all over and entertaining everyone. My sister and brother-in-law were there, too. It was good fun.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing with my husband watching episodes of Community and Friends. We made salmon for dinner and enjoyed a day off on a weekday. It was President’s Day and my school was closed. David’s company was shut down, too. We had a lovely relaxing evening. He painted. I wrote. Life was good. It started scary and rough, but ended well.

I think one of my favorite moments was at 3 something am when my sweet husband offered to accompany me to the hospital. He was even more tired than me after hours of martial arts, but offered to come with me. I am a lucky, lucky woman.

Health, Writing

Celebrating Success

January 24, 2016 rebekahjmarshall Leave a comment

Ready to celebrate some successes! I finished my creativity course, got married, wrote a novel in the month of November for NanoWrimo, and feel back on track with writing daily.

Today I bought a new journal called The Steal Like An Artist Journal – A Notebook For Creative Kleptomaniacs by Austin Kleon. He opens the book with a quote by Mary Oliver – “I think we’re creative all day long. We have to have an appointment to have that work out on the page. Because the creative part of us gets tired of waiting, or just gets tired.” This sums up my new writing plans perfectly. I am attempting to set aside time daily to work out my creativity on the page. I plan to start sharing some of that experimentation here.

Activity #1 in the journal is Ten Things I Want To Learn:

…Spanish
…how to publish an ebook
…how to format my poetry so it can be published as an ebook
…everything necessary to get a Master’s Degree
…everything necessary to get a Doctorate (just because I want to be Dr. Marshall)
…to Waltz
…to live a healthy lifestyle so I can maintain an ideal weight, shape, health for me
…how to exercise without hurting my body
…how to play 40K without David constantly reminding me of the rules
…how to make a living as a writer

Health, Writing

4 Vacation Days Left

August 8, 2015 rebekahjmarshall Leave a comment

I have thoroughly enjoyed this vacation. I have filled it a bit too full at times, but I made up for that yesterday with two long naps! My creativity course is proceeding splendidly. I am in week 2 and have done all of my writing exercises each and every day. I’m learning a little bit about my own habits and weaknesses that tend to interfere with my time for writing. I am also learning a plethora about my own creative potential and how much untapped awesomeness is contained in this universe. I don’t have to believe that every ounce resides in me, but simply that I can be a channel to get it on paper. I have to develop the willingness to let all that energy and beauty flow through me. Part of the willingness is simply showing up to the page and taking the steps to do the work. I do a ton more daydreaming about writing than actually writing. 🙂

Also, I am very excited to report that my sweet fiance has a three day weekend, which he will be spending with me when he wakes up. He was up during the night with a sick dog. I was no help. I was conked out. The dog and I are fine this morning, but my poor man is exhausted and needs to sleep the morning away.

Super amazing news – I have reached my summertime swimming goal of 60 laps. I’m not resting on my laurels, though. Now I’ve decided to set a new goal of 66 laps because my grandfather figured out that 66 (considering all the measurements of his pool) would equal half a mile. I just like the sound of swimming a nice round half mile.

This has been one of my best vacations ever. I have Salsa’d, written, read, sipped tons of tea, played with my granddaughter, attended support groups, worked on my creativity course, cleaned house making my environment more livable, swam, had outings with friends, gone to the movies, taken myself out to eat, roamed bookstores, and napped to my heart’s content. This is the way to live.

Health, Writing

Summer Vacation!!!

August 2, 2015 rebekahjmarshall Leave a comment

This was how I felt by the last day of summer school — white knuckling it — and so left my room like this:

Ok, maybe not quite that bad, but I certainly did not leave it in any shape for the start of school. I will deal with that when I return for the year. I am on vacation!

A kid asked if I will miss her and I said, “Probably not. I’ll only be gone a week.” She looked a bit wounded, but, come on. I couldn’t muster the energy to come up with a creative response and I don’t lie to my students. I should have said something like, “Probably as much as you’ll miss me,” but my brain was sluggish…due to her and her cronies exhausting me.

My dream goal five years from now is to be able to summer in Colorado or somewhere else cool (literally not hot like Texas.) I will rent a cottage in the mountains and write for three months straight. It will be a true retreat and I will return refreshed, enlightened, and ready to teach because I have truly had a break.

This is a real goal, not a far-fetched pipe dream. I became a teacher so I could read and tell stories all day and have the summers off. I have not had the summer off for the last 14 years. Not cool. I do get to do the story part, though.

For this vacation, I am writing, beginning The Artist’s Way 12 Week Course by Julia Cameron, dancing, swimming, and taking naps every day. So far, my vacation has been a blast and I am appreciating every single second that I am not at work.

Health, Writing

HEB Jungle

July 14, 2015 rebekahjmarshall 1 Comment

It has been one week since my pain left my joints. I have finished my cleanse and am now following a strict diet that does not include any inflammation-causing ingredients…mostly consuming fruits, veggies, lean meats, and drinking tons of water. I still walk with a limp, tire easily, get cramps and twinges of discomfort, and have swelling that has not gone away entirely. I am feeling a little more hopeful, though.

The other day I stood up and my hip caught, causing shooting pain all the way to my head. I doubled over on the bed and wept ferociously. All the terror of an impending lifetime of crippling pain overwhelmed me and I just broke down. My poor fiance witnessed my hysteria, tried to console me, and quite heroicly never said another word about it once I was all better. Such a gentleman. I have to accept that it will not be all smooth sailing. I am sure my road to recovery will be arduous and fraught with setbacks, as all roads to recovery seem to be. Why would I expect it to be otherwise? But I can’t give up at each obstacle or I’ll never get to the good stuff.

Yesterday, my daughter left me in charge of my granddaughter in the car while she shopped. She thought we should drive around the parking lot in the air conditioning so I wouldn’t have to walk and we could stay cool in the Texas heat. Instead, we went on an adventure…something I never would have done a week ago. Charlotte and I created a pram out of one of the smaller carts and explored the jungle that is HEB’s outdoor garden center. We touched each and every flower, bush, and plant that looked safe. We wheeled under hanging plants and looked at them from below. We weaved in and out of potted trees and stood underneath giant fans that made the shaded area quite comfortable, despite the 95 degree Texas heat.

We got thirsty and enjoyed refreshments next to a beautiful large-leafed plant that looked very exotic. Charlotte stared at it the entire time she drank her bottle. For the first time in a very long time, I did something that involved walking, entertained my grandbaby successfully, and spent time outside in a nature-like setting. This was big for me. The warmth, good bottle, and spirit of adventure took their toll and left us both quite spent, but it was good fun. Charlotte is a good recovery partner. She does not judge my need for breaks, does not hurry me along, goes right along with my crazy ideas, and takes naps. My kind of girl.

Health, Writing

Knock on Wood

July 7, 2015 rebekahjmarshall 7 Comments

I am not superstitious, but I hesitate to write this post the way people are afraid of speaking blessings out loud because the devil might steal them or people knock on wood that they have been spared. Part of me is thrilled. Part of me is scared.

The thrilled part would like to announce that, as of today, I am pain free. Gone is my cane. Gone is my limp. Gone is the agony with every step that dictated all my plans and efforts on a daily basis. I am on day 5 of my cleanse, and as promised, my pain is gone. My healer actually said it might take the full 14 days, but I’m not going to look a gift-horse in the mouth. I am not comfortable, per say, but I am free of pain. What I feel now is weakness in muscles that have not been used properly for far too long. There is also tightness and difficulty with movement in my joints, like they are unaccustomed to moving. Much still needs to be done to recover fully, but to be given a day off from pain. My eyes fill with tears of joy and relief as I write this. I must re-learn to walk properly, use mindful walking, and not overdo it. I must walk before I run, metaphorically speaking…or perhaps quite literally. I never thought I would do either again in this lifetime. I have dreams of running the same as dreams of flying. Both are desires my body has not been capable of lately.

Now the scared part must rear its fearful head. What if this reprieve is temporary? How many days do I have? One, two, a week? What if it is only a side-effect of the cleanse and as soon as that is over my pain returns? Perhaps I will be like Charley in Flowers for Algernon, all too aware of my impending decent back to my normal, which is unacceptable. I want this to be my new normal. I am not able to just stay in the now and appreciate a day free of pain. I want to forecast the future and in the process drive myself crazy. I know I am supposed to stay in the present, focus on the here and now, be content with this moment of pain-free existence that is enveloping me in peace. Perhaps admitting my fear gives it less control over me.