Tag Archives: recovery

My Elephant

(Poem 23 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

AI Generated image I prompted on Gencraft.com https://gencraft.ai/p/T6nFtt

My elephant thinks
she’s invisible, despite
the fact that I speak
to her daily and offer
to take her wherever
she may wish to go.

She prefers to lurk in
doorways, eavesdrop on
my conversations with
prospective employers and
watch Korean dramas
over my shoulder.

We’ve settled nicely
into a routine of
keeping each other at
trunk’s length and eyeing
suspiciously any behaviors
indicative of confidence.

She likes it when I nap,
over-schedule, talk on the
phone, or make pictures of
elephants in living rooms
with other elephants in
paintings and televisions.

I like it when she forgets
her vow of silence,
tells me what it’s like to
take up so much space,
to fill the room with herself,
and trumpet her name.

@Home Studio – 23rd poem of the year

Lesson 3 from The Way of the Wizard

(Poem 21 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

“…I forgot whether I was dreaming of this dragonfly or whether it was dreaming of me.” -Merlin, Deepak Chopra’s The Way of the Wizard    

AI Generated image I prompted on Gencraft.com https://gencraft.ai/p/eJQ4To

Merlin once ran around waving a
butcher’s knife like a mad man.
Arthur, alarmed, pleaded with him
to stop and explain himself.
Merlin said he wanted to try thinking
the way mortals seem to do,
chopping and dissecting,
using the mind like a blade.

The violent force of rationality
divides, dissociates, isolates, detaches.
It is the opposite of awareness
which unites, marries, coalesces.
The intellectual universe glue
is knowingness, not “knowing things”.
We see not by sight, but by tapping
into the water of life at the source.

The “mind behind the mind”
must be the “eye behind the eye”
for the seer to stay the same
no matter the scenery.
Depending on the observer,
this poem could be merely ink dots
on wood pulp or electronic pixels
rendered on a screen, or it could be
ideas and information—awareness
manifesting itself in “storable form”.

The eye reading this poem
is an energy cloud miraculously
capable of perceiving images.
Yet, that same eye cannot see
radio waves, neutrinos, dark matter,
love.

“Who saw the eye before the eye saw anything?”

This poem exists because a
consciousness wanted to share
this code and unfold strands
of energy to be revealed to
another consciousness, you.

Are you dreaming this poem or
is this poem dreaming you?

@Home Studio – 21st poem of the year

Chopra, Deepak. The Way of the Wizard: Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want. New York, United States of America, Harmony Books, 1995, pp.29-34.

Runner ups for the AI cosmic oneness dragonfly observer photos to accompany my poem:

Proud Bringer of This Is Me

(Poem 19 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

“I make no apologies, this is me.” – Lettie Lutz in The Greatest Showman

AI Generated image I prompted on Gencraft.com https://gencraft.ai/p/FxZumQ

If he rejects all your broken parts,
he doesn’t deserve any of you.
If she can’t accept you scars and all,
she doesn’t need the pretty smooth layer.
If they want to kick you while you’re down,
they don’t get to celebrate your triumph.

If he hopes to bring you guilt and shame,
he shouldn’t earn your praise or loyalty.
If she turns away from your deepest pain,
she doesn’t merit sharing your joy.
If their words are meant to bruise and cut,
they are not entitled to your heart.

Make no apologies; there is nothing you
are not worthy of. You are a glorious,
barricade busting, drum major marching,
get back up again, not scared to be seen,
flood sending, meant to be,
proud bringer of this is me.

@Home Studio after attending Alamo Village Drafthouse’s The Greatest Showman sing along with Debbie and Liz – 19th poem of the year

Gracey, Michael. The Greatest Showman. Twentieth Century Fox,
  2017.

Runner ups for the AI circus proud and unique photos to accompany my poem:

Lesson 2 from The Way of the Wizard

(Poem 18 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

“You will know your own innocence again when you can see the love that breathes within every iota of creation.” -Deepak Chopra The Way of the Wizard    

AI Generated image I prompted on Gencraft.com https://gencraft.ai/p/epXhfI

Arthur could not see
his own reflection
in the clear water pond
and was afraid to confess
as much to Merlin.
I thought of him today
and the lesson he was
taught in response to
the wonderful news
that a lack of self-image
is a sign of innocence.

To gaze peacefully out
my sliding glass door
is an act of creation,
for the observer plants
the seed of life by
noticing, recalling,
becoming invested in,
and growing to love
the deer who stand
munching, daring the
dogs to bark, antlers
high in defiance,
the squirrels chittering
angrily as they race along
the fence top, provoking
growls and menace,
the birds who nest,
the possums who hide,
the mice who find
their way inside,
the skunks who waddle
around in the dark,
magical beasts who
sparkle with newness
if only we clean our
lenses, witness them afresh,
and listen for the faintest
of songs sung by them all
called, “Behold yourself.”

@Home Studio – 18th poem of the year

Chopra, Deepak. The Way of the Wizard: Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want. New York, United States of America, Harmony Books, 1995, pp. 23-28.

Runner ups for the AI cosmic oneness photos to accompany my poem:

A Duke By Any Other Name

(Poem 17 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

“To those contending with chronic intermittent infirmity.” – A Duke By Any Other Name book dedication

A duke by any other name
might well be a beggar
or find himself locked away
in Bedlam whether sane or no.

A lady of questionable upbringing
is as good as ruined
by too much enthusiasm
or too little interest in finery.

Heaven forbid the two
take an interest in each other’s
worlds, dictums of society be
flouted and customs ignored.

Only truth can heal old wounds,
restore families long separated
by fear of shame, and bring
peace to hurting hearts.

@Home Studio after finishing the book A Duke By Any Other Name by Grace Burrowes – 17th poem of the year

Burrowes, Grace. A Duke By Any Other Name, Forever, NY, 2020.

Strong Suffering

(Poem 16 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

“When we insulate ourselves from the possibility of harm, we also deprive ourselves of the beauty that our brokenness can display.” -Jay Wolf in Suffer Strong

Strong suffering
bears little resemblance
to gritting of teeth,
white-knuckled grip,
muffled cries to spare
sensibilities ill-suited to pain.

No, strong suffering
is the unfurling of a
closed heart to her lover,
a ripening of self,
splitting apart of shell
to reveal the vulnerable
underbelly of fear.

Strong suffering
does not batten
down the hatches and
bolt the doors
against all possible
atrocities, real or imagined.

No, she flings open
the shutters to welcome
the wind and invites
the intruders to break
bread at her table,
her only intention
to pay attention.

@Home Studio after finishing the book Suffer Strong by Katherine and Jay Wolf – 16th poem of the year

Wolf, Katherine and Jay, Suffer Strong – How to Survive Anything by
  Redefining Everything, Zondervan, Michigan, 2020.

Life is a Carnival

(Poem 14 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

“Oh, there’s no need to cry because life is a carnival, and it’s more beautiful to live singing.” -Celia Cruz “Life is a Carnival”

“Ay, no hay que llorar que la vida es un carnaval, y es más bello vivir cantando.” -Celia Cruz “La Vida Es Un Carnaval”

“Ay, no hay que llorar…”
Tears don’t heal a scar.
Instead, accept la paz
granted only by loss
to those hit by the rule
“Que la vida es cruel.”

You see, it’s a lie,
this compunction to cry,
for it says we’re alone,
pero “nunca estará solo.”
Dios está contigo.
God is where we go.

And when we hate
or raise complaint,
sin, pollute, make war,
“Ay, no hay que llorar…”
Rather, sing one and all
“que la vida es un carnaval.”

(@ Home Studio after watching the Spanish musical La Usurpadora: The Musical with Celinda and Debbie, which featured Celia Cruz’s song as the opening number. I have many happy Salsa memories dancing to this song – 14th poem of the year.)

Translation Spanish to English (It will not rhyme in the translation):

“Oh, there’s no need to cry…”
Tears don’t heal a scar.
Instead, accept the peace
granted only by loss
to those hit by the rule
“that life is cruel.”

You see, it’s a lie,
this compunction to cry,
for it says we’re alone,
but “we are never alone.”
God is with us.
God is where we go.

And when we hate
or raise complaint,
sin, pollute, make war,
“Oh, there’s no need to cry…”
Rather, sing one and all
“because life is a carnival.”

Cruz, Celia; Daniel, Victor, “La Vida Es Un Carnaval,” Mi Vida Es
  Cantar, 1998.
La Usurpadora: The Musical, Limón; Santiago, Hiojos, María. Walden
  Entertainment, Inc., 2023.

Lesson 1 from The Way of the Wizard

(Poem 13 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

“…every living thing is the entire universe, only wearing a different disguise.” -Merlin, Deepak Chopra’s The Way of the Wizard

AI Generated image I prompted on Gencraft.com
https://gencraft.ai/p/sDIotX

What room for silence
when preferences clamor
for precedence
and feelings battle one
another to reign?

The mind asserts its
dominance by forcing
rejection of other,
delineating you versus me
and they versus we.

How can peace seep
into our spirit crevasses
unless the outside
splits open to release
it from within?

Until we listen to
the inner voice crying
out, “Find me,” 
we will never realize,
“All this is myself.”

@Home Studio – 13th poem of the year

Chopra, Deepak. The Way of the Wizard: Twenty Spiritual Lessons for
  Creating the Life You Want. New York, United States of America,
  Harmony Books, 1995, pp. 19-21.

Runner ups for the AI cosmic oneness photos to accompany my poem:

The New Year

(Poem 8 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

(AI Generated images I prompted on Gencraft.com)

The new year arrived without
much ado while I slept.
Then the proverbial fan spluttered.
Five hours later, I drove my
husband home from the emergency room
a little doped up, but thankful
for temporary relief from a kidney stone.
Two days later I propped up his ass
so he wouldn’t fall off the porch
after a root canal and more meds
than his delicate constitution
could withstand on a weekday.
We’re only a few days in to 2024,
but it needs to slow its roll,
pace itself, it’s doing too much.

@Home Studio – 8th poem of the year

(Some more images playing around with AI…one of my favorite is this dragon representing 2024 doing WAY TOO MUCH!)

(And this poor little guy in the bottom left about to get eaten by 2024…)

(Here are some more because I was having trouble coming up with an image to represent what I wanted. We’ve got bleak city streets, Dickensonian dental surgery, and the after Christmas blues in this collage.)

I Don’t Know How

(Poem 6 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

AI Generated image I prompted on Gencraft.com https://gencraft.ai/p/DmpRJu

I don’t know how
to write about the real
things that keep me up
at night because
I’ve forgotten what they are.

My mind is as empty as
a lazy metaphor,
my brain smooth silk,
my soul a settled morning pond.

I’m afraid enlightenment
might make me a worse poet.
Do sages fear writer’s block,
Or do they eschew the arts?

Will newfound peace
change my focus such that
my words will suffer?
Have I found the worry stone
to hold in my palm tonight?

Well, looky there, proof
I’m still on the mortal plane,
but I’m getting closer
to the obliteration of self
and who knows what that means…

@Home Studio – 6th poem of the year