Tag Archives: recovery

Health, Poetry, Writing

Candles Lit

Leave a comment

(Poem 5 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

AI Generated image I prompted on Gencraft.com https://gencraft.ai/p/hyBGfL

Candles lit
Cleared space
Tea at the ready
Blank page
Dogs asleep
at my feet
Husband in a
snuggie so
the air can be
comfortable
for the furnace
that is me
Perfect evening
to sit and write
Melt my soul
back to the night
Quiet peace
Edge of dream
Twinkle lights
add softness
Husband’s touch
subtle as a battle cry
but welcome
and enough
Nice to share
a relaxing day
alone together
Our secret foreplay
And when he
switches the laundry
my heart melts
a little bit more
softening edges
I forget are rough,
angry and wounded
in need of love

@Home Studio – 5th poem of the year

Health, Poetry, Writing

The First Time Salting

Leave a comment

(Poem 3 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

<a href=”https://www.vecteezy.com/free-photos”>Free Stock photos by Vecteezy</a>

The first time salting
my window sills, I waited
until everyone in the house
was asleep.

No one could question
the protective measures
taken on their behalf
nor doubt their
efficacy.

Burning sage for the first time
took place behind closed doors,
any scent detected probably
thought to be a strange new
candle, since those are
understood.

My rock collection
continues to grow,
new shades of polished
gems and crystals join
dinosaur excrement and
fossilized wood,
each has its place.

@Genuine Joe’s mid-day – 3rd poem of the year

Health, Poetry, Writing

Will My Awakening

Leave a comment

(Poem 2 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

<a href=”https://www.vecteezy.com/free-photos”>Free Stock photos by Vecteezy</a>

Will my awakening
shock me like a lightning strike
send sizzling energy
bolting from my fingertips
and announce to all in
earshot that I am alive?

Will my awakening
descend gentle as
falling snow and land
on my eyelashes
spinning a new reality
forever in a moment?

Or will my awakening
happen in my sleep
while I dream, a bit of
saliva drooled onto my pillow
and I have no idea it
even happened?

@Genuine Joe’s mid-day – 2nd poem of the year

Fiction, Poetry, Writing

Shacks Who Shriek

Leave a comment

Shacks who shriek, spiders who skate,
werewolves teach, moons deflate.
Scheming rat and wild dog howl,
soul-sucking beasts, murder most foul.

If what you fear most is simply fear,
the time-turned solution is plain and clear.
Face the truths that make you quake,
be it darkness or heights, failure or snake.

Retrace your steps past trauma and pain –
executioner’s blade, monsters on a train.
Save yourself with the strength you find.
Be your own hero; leave the past behind.

Stand up to the demon who threatens joy,
be it anger, depression, the urge to destroy.
The time-turned solution is plain and clear
if what you fear most is simply fear.

Tonight I watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban with friends. The twists and turns are quite complex in this story line, but all converge to elucidate themes of facing fear, unmasking the truth, and fighting for justice for the wrongly accused. It is very well done and inspires poetry for me when I watch it.

Health, Writing

Skip the Exercise

Leave a comment

What part of my routine am I tempted to skip? That is the journal topic of the day suggested by WordPress. I am tempted to skip the truth and say cleaning or something less incriminating, but I hate exercising. I don’t like sweating, moving, hurting, aching, exerting, breathing heavily, pumping my heart, flexing my muscles, or anything of the sort.

I know I need to. I know it is important for my health, aging, bone density, healing processes, blah…blah…blah. I am not stupid or uninformed. I make myself do some exercise sometimes. But it hurts my joints, my nerves, my muscles, my bones. No matter what I do, be it stretching, swimming, biking, walking, dancing, yoga, you name it. It hurts and I am miserable before, during, and after. A good work out will leave me suffering for days.

Others say exercise is a good pain for them. That does not exist for me. I was an athlete as a child (a gymnast) and even enjoyed swimming, dancing, and ice skating into my late 30’s. By my 40’s, everything hurt too badly. Oh, well. There you have it. I am tempted to skip the exercise most days. A nice cup of tea and a good book, or better yet, a nap is much more inviting than pain.

Health, Writing

The Wand Chooses the Wizard

1 Comment

I have always wondered why Hermione was placed in Gryffindor. She is clearly a Ravenclaw. Then I started thinking about the fact that I am Ravenclaw despite wishing to be Hufflepuff. The sorting hat must have known she needed Harry and Ron more than other smarty-pants people surrounding her. There are the people we are, the people we want to be, and the people we can become given the right influences and circumstances.

I let this blogsite get cancelled a while back because I did not have available funds to pay for it. Thankfully, when I was able to return, my information and domain name were still available. I was not so lucky with my other publishing website. I have to start over from scratch on that one.

But I feel okay about it all. A fresh start might give me a fresh perspective and kick me into gear with my self-publishing journey once again. It is NanoWrimo time and I have a great novel idea. I have moved to a a multi-generational home and quit teaching. I am focusing on my health and now have more time and energy to devote to my passions.

Would I have expected to be here if anyone had asked me a decade ago? Absolutely not. I could not have planned to be sorted into the family or house I am currently enjoying. Nor could I have foreseen the two ladies with whom I would be sitting here watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I found them through a chain of events I did not orchestrate.

Perhaps things come to us when and if the time is right if we are open to their arrival. We have to put in the footwork and be willing to accept the call, but maybe forces beyond our control are working on our behalf. I know it sounds a little woo-woo, especially when things are not going smoothly in life. And I may not feel this way when the next storm hits. However, it feels nice to think my wand has chosen me, that great things are in store, and just the right friends and family are by my side to battle the darkness.

Fiction, Health, Writing

Last Day of Summer Break

Leave a comment

(Photo by David Mao on Unsplash)

I have had a wonderful summer of healing from hip replacement surgery, finishing my Master’s degree in English and Creative Writing, taking long restful naps, and sipping tea while I immerse myself in story.

Tomorrow I return to work sharing my passion for the written word with others as an English Literary Arts and Reading teacher to secondary students (grades 6-12.) My goal this school year is to foster a classroom that encourages both reading and writing as methods of discovery, escape, healing, and growth. Whether the students decide to join me on this journey is another story. I will share weekly moments of triumph and failure as the year unfolds. This will be my 23rd year in education, but my first year of approaching the subject matter in this way. I am excited about the opportunity to try something new.

Wish my students and me luck! It should be quite the adventure.

Health, Writing

Celebrations!

Leave a comment
Photo by Zoran Nikolic from FreeImages

I am happy to announce that great progress has been made in the last year. I have earned my Master’s Degree in English and Creative Writing, my grandchildren have been reunited with their parents, I finally had hip surgery, and I made it through the year teaching despite COVID. It has been a wild ride, but things are looking up. I see the glimmers of feeling better and stronger on the horizon. I am certainly more confident about my passion for writing and my commitment to making a career for myself in the literary field. 

Here’s to constant improvement, even if it looks like barely any progress is being made. It is okay to tiptoe out of comfort zones, take teeny tiny baby steps toward goals, and spend tons of time researching options before picking the next right thing. This journey is not a race.

Health, Writing

Waking up from discouragement…

Leave a comment

My last post was in October.  I reported that I had not written since authority figures in my life slammed me with judgment, censorship, and criticism…not only of my writing, but my discernment as a human being and professional.

Now my job is in jeopardy–not connected to my writing, politics above my station.  I am working from home due to the coronavirus and quarantine and all that bizarreness that is occurring in this world right now.

I have also taken in grandchildren temporarily while adult children fix their worlds.  I’ve had a winter of sickness and slow recovery.  I’ve battled a time of sadness.  And I’ve applied to begin working on my master’s degree.  Big things are happening.

And all I want to do is write…and read…and write some more.  Enough pouting, sulking, brooding, etc.  It is time to get back to finding my joy.  I cannot be derailed by others whose opinions I don’t even value anyway.  It has certainly not been a conscious decision to take a sabbatical from writing, but that is what has occurred.  And it has not been good for me.

Here and now, I resolve to get back to writing.  I declare this time of non-writing ended.   Rebekah the writer is back.

Health, Poetry, Writing

Medication Experiment

Leave a comment

I am taking medication

to relieve pain.

It is an experiment.

Does it help?

Am I better?

All I know is that

my mind is free to

feel joy:

for my best friend’s

IRS windfall,

my husband

on his way home,

our dog

not escaped,

the tea pot

boiling,

another episode of House

cued up,

my bed

waiting for me.

These are not new,

but my ability to

appreciate them is.

My pleasure is sincere.

The pain is still there.

I am not cured.

No marathons are in my future.

But there is a tiny space,

a slight cushion of awareness,

a sliver of hope that wasn’t

present before.

Like the absence of

intensity has given breathing room,

possibility of expansion,

a moment of focus on something

other than merely coping.

The pain is not gone,

but neither is my mind.

 

RJMarshall 6/2/16