“Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid hints at the character of a caregiver to a young woman. In her attempts to teach the girl the ways of womanhood, she shows herself to be old-fashioned, strict in principle, and set in her views of gender roles. These qualities demonstrate her preferences. Little details in her lecturing show glimpses of her past like the fact that she knows how to grow crops, sew clothes, and run a household. She is savvy about interactions with men, has loved, has fallen out of love, and has given up on love. These qualities demonstrate her history. Her flaw is her suspicion of the girl. She cannot imagine that the girl is not making all the same mistakes she made. And with so much emphasis on avoiding the appearance of impropriety, it is surprising that she has possibly had an abortion (Kincaid).
The unique writing style of this piece develops the character in a manner that only gives a slice of information and entirely through dialogue. The reader must infer character traits and piece her story together with clues from her speech. This method does not permit as much character development as one might prefer and provides no physical description of the character. Enemies are vaguely hinted at as men who have bullied her and fake smiles given to people she doesn’t like. The story leaves one wanting more with no means of satisfaction. When I write characters, I hope to capture the voice and traits as well as Kincaid, but provide more physical descriptions and consider alliances during development.
Bonus Note: The woman accuses the girl of singing Benna in Sunday School and I laughed so hard when I looked it up on line. “Sexually suggestive, call and repeat style, telling scandalous gossip”…definitely not appropriate Sunday School music, but so funny to picture either one of them giving it a shot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOIlA9s6QxE
Works Cited
Kincaid, Jamaica. “Girl.” At the Bottom of the River, Farrar Straus Giroux, 1983, pp. 3-5.
TRIGGER WARNING: This essay discusses mental health (including OCD), grief, emotional distress, strong language, and social inequality as they appear in John Green’s novels.
Authors of young adult fiction have the difficult task of creating characters, situations, and dialogue that teenagers will believe. If a novel’s plot is boring, the characters lack development, or the dialogue sounds fake, teenagers are quick to toss the book aside and look for a different author. However, once an author captures their hearts, young adults create a loyal fan-base who will read every book the writer produces and pass them among friends like contraband. John Green has successfully built just such a fan base. An analysis of three of his novels reveals the techniques he uses to create a reality that young adults will believe using language that is authentic to their worldview. Looking for Alaska is one of Green’s earliest books, Turtles All The Way Down one of his newest, and An Abundance of Katherines one of his most unique. Each contains myriad examples of masterful writing to which teenagers connect.
One method is invented vocabulary through methods of functional shifting, combining, reanalysis, clipping, and suffixing. Another is changing syntax by manipulating the expected word order to indicate southern diction, English as a second language, and creative thinking. In the area of semantics, Green creates meaning using a variety of registers within different specializations, word choices with teen-geared connotations, and vague wording to leave meaning ambiguous at times when the characters are being mysterious. He also uses word choices to indicate various socio-economic classes of people and audience-specific dialogue that incorporates youthful diction and slang. John Green utilizes invented vocabulary, syntax, and semantic strategies in his novels to successfully appeal to young adults.
The use of invented vocabulary speaks to youth because people in this stage challenge rules and push boundaries, a sort of “verbal revolution” to quote Walt Whitman (Curzan 120). Green capitalizes on this invention of words to make young adults feel connected to his writing. In Looking for Alaska, Miles says he has come to boarding school “looking for a Great Perhaps” (Alaska 219). Changing perhaps from its usual part of speech as an adverb to a proper noun is a creative way of connecting the main character to a sense of adventure as he begins his search for meaning in life. At another point, Miles says he uses “the friend card” which is a popular phrase taking the noun friend and shifting it to use as an adjective (Alaska 77). Then Alaska calls Miles a “perv”, a clipping of the word pervert (Alaska 41). At the boarding school, Alaska invents the name of their favorite meal “a deep-fried bean burrito, the bufriedo” by combining the words burrito, fried, and beans. Miles goes on to talk about “savoring the bean-y crunch” and creates the word bean-y by suffixing or adding a y to the end of the word (Alaska 22). Some of the most entertaining inventions are the reanalysis of common sayings. At one point when discussing the destruction of Alaska’s books that she bought at garage sales, Miles says, “Ashes to Ashes. Garage sale to garage sale,” rather than stating the oft-quoted ashes to ashes; dust to dust (Alaska 154). At another point Miles mixes the sayings switch conversations and change horses midstream using reanalysis to claim that Alaska tended to “switch conversational horses midstream” (Alaska 53).
John Green plays with syntax in An Abundance of Katherines to show the speech patterns of an elderly man named Starnes from Tennessee who was born and raised in the country. He says, “Hollis…took good care of us every one” (Katherines 81). The usual word order for Standard English is took good care of every one of us. Placing the indefinite pronouns at the end of the sentence is more common among southern dialects of years past. Green also uses changes in word order to indicate broken English. Hassan pretends he is French and tells some girls that Colin has Tourette’s by saying, “He has the disease with the talking…I do not know how you say in English” (Katherines 52). He is trying to be funny but characteristic of English language learners who sometimes rearrange words and leave out words necessary to form complete sentences.
Green also permits characters to order their words interestingly to indicate intellect and creative/poetic thinking. In Turtles All the Way Down, Davis is a creative poet and writes with unique syntax for a teenager. One computer entry reads, “My mother’s footsteps/were so quiet/I barely heard her leave.” Placing the footsteps of his mother at the beginning of the poem creates more poignant imagery at the end when the reader realizes the mother is no longer around. Another says, “Gravity differs from affection: only one is constant” (Turtles 189). This quote could be put simply, Gravity is constant, but affection is fickle. Davis’s wording sets up a contrast that is meant to be pondered prior to providing an open-ended answer following the colon to ponder some more. In another entry, Davis types in response to Shakespeare’s quote Doubtthat the sun doth move, “It dothn’t move…not around us…Who knows what lies I believe…Who knows what we shouldn’t doubt” (Turtles 207-208). This could be written, Our faith may be unfounded. Things we doubt might be true. His method is more creative and permits the reader to play with the words, mulling them over for meaning.
Linguistic social markers are another technique Green uses to indicate different classes of people. In Turtles All the Way Down when a lawyer for a wealthy family is speaking, his diction is crisp and word choice selective. “Your concern is admirable, Ms. Holmes, but I assure you that everything is cared for…Do you have any other questions of pertinence to your situation” (Turtles 127). The attorney says pertinence which could be considered within his legal register of terminology and is a variation as he could have just as easily said simpler synonyms for a teenage audience (he was speaking to a teenager at the time.) Contrast his speech with Daisy’s. She is a poor teenager who hustles to get anything she wants and fills her sentences with slang, cursing, and different grammatical structures. Her vernacular is a stereotype of underprivileged teenagers. “You got a car and a laptop and all that shit, and you think it’s natural. You think it’s just normal to have a house with your own room and a mom who helps with your homework” (Turtles 216).
When demonstrating the intellect of a psychiatrist, Green gives Dr. Singh the ability to recall quotes from a philosopher in Latin. This ability in speech is a social marker of being well-educated in American society. “A fuller formation of Descartes’s philosophy would be Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum. I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am” (Turtles 166). Along the same vein, when a teenager from a rich family is discussing a painting in his mansion, he shortens the name of the artist (Kerry James Marshall) in question to initials. This familiarity with an artist’s work implies wealth and privilege. “I really love KJM’s work” (Turtles 100). He also invites his friends to watch a movie in his home theater. He uses a word most teenagers have never uttered in the context of a home service. “When I was a kid, we had to have a projectionist come out, but now it’s all digital” (Turtles 98). These are indicators that his social experiences are quite different from the other teenagers in the book. In An Abundance of Katherines Hassan’s humor and intellect are demonstrated in the following exchange when he is invited to say “grace” in a Christian home, despite the fact that he is Muslim:
“Hassan cleared his throat. Bismillah. Then he picked up his fork.That’s it? Hollis wondered. That’s it. We are a terse people. Terse, and also hungry” (Katherines 62).
Average teenagers do not tend to use a word like terse. A more common phrase might be we don’t talk a lot.
More examples of slang and teenage diction in Green’s work permit young adult readers to connect with the characters. In An Abundance of Katherines, Hassan says, “Sup?” instead of What is up? (Katherines 128). Lindsey says, “I’m a’ight,” instead of I am alright (Katherines 99). At one point when Colin is being awakened by a rooster crowing Cock-a-doodle-do, Colin responds in typical annoyance. His witty response; however, is less than typical. “Cock-a-doodle-don’t, Motherfugger” (Katherines 77). The connotations of his invented words are obviously negative. In Looking for Alaska Takumi refers to the authorities with the slang term pig that is sometimes used in reference to the police. “The pigs can’t stop the fox” (Alaska 106). The group of teens make up names for each other, their cars, and different locations as young people are known to do. They call McDonald’s “McInedible” (Alaska 76). The leader of their group is called The Colonel, the authority figure who catches them and has the power to expel them is called The Eagle, and the skinny main character is ironically called Pudge. Green uses these name choices to show the way young people play with language and make it their own.
One character in Looking for Alaska named Alaska is described as moody and is meant to be mysterious, her motivations and goals unknown. The reader is left trying to solve her like a puzzle. The 1st person limited narrator Miles makes the interesting point about her, “…the way her mouth curled up on the right side all the time, like she was preparing to smirk, like she’d mastered the right half of the Mona Lisa’s inimitable smile…” (Alaska 30). He alludes to a mesmerizing painting, the subject of which has created generations to guess what that smile is about. The narrator is also perplexed in another scene by Alaska’s mood swings and thinks, “How could the girl who told that joke three hours before become a sobbing mess” (Alaska 86)? During a game, Alaska is supposed to describe the best day of her life. “Best day of my life was January 9, 1997. I was eight years old, and my mom and I went to the zoo on a class trip” (Alaska 115). When a friend tries to get to know her better and find out how she is, Alaska responds, “I’m really not up for questions that start with how, when, where, why, or what” (Alaska 68). When confronted by a confused friend who says, “I don’t get you,” she responds with, “You never get me. That’s the whole point” (Alaska 55). Green uses vague descriptions and non-committal vocabulary to keep the Alaska character a mystery for the other characters and the reader.
The ability to create realistic characters who can play with language as they speak with authentic teen dialogue and about topics young adults care about is what makes John Green’s books relatable. Readers are drawn into the minds and hearts of each person and the relationships they build while they struggle to make sense of the chaos of life. The universal questions tackled by Green are balanced with humor and enough teenage nonsense to keep the books from seeming pretentious. Miles says at the end of Looking for Alaska “I came here looking for the Great Perhaps…maybe the afterlife is just something we made up to ease the pain of loss…Thomas Edison’s last words were: It’s very beautiful over there. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful” (Alaska 220-221). The invented vocabulary, syntax and semantic choices John Green uses in his novels combine to create works that appeal to young adult readers due to authenticity and the ability to connect to teenage concerns.
Works Cited
Curzan, Anne and Michael P. Adams. How English works : a linguistic introduction – 3rd ed. p.cm. Glenview, IL: Pearson Education, Inc., 2012.
Green, John. An Abundance of Katherines. Dutton and Speak, 2006.
Green, John. Looking For Alaska. Dutton Juvenile, 2005.
Green, John. Turtles All The Way Down. Dutton Penguin, 2017.
Hurst, Mary Jane. The VOICE of the CHILD in American Literature: Linguistic Approaches to Fictional Child Language. The University Press of Kentucky, 1990.
Mohamed, Dr. Theresa. “Learning Modules”, Eng-550-Q4588 Grad Studies in English Lang 20TW4, Southern New Hampshire University, 2020, learn.snhu.edu/d2l/home/398756.
Nilsen, Aleen Pace; Donelson, Kenneth L. Literature for Today’s Young Adults, 8th Edition. Pearson, 2009.
Image created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompt using AI on Gencraft.
Agatha Blum is a 70-year-old triplet who tends to her youngest triplet sister Edith (a stroke victim) and drives for a ride sharing company. She says it is for extra spending money, but it is also her escape from the responsibilities of her household. She is the oldest of the three identical triplets but is not speaking to the middle triplet Capitola, whose offense is as yet unknown (the characters must reveal what happened to cause such a rift.) Capitola comes to help care for their sister Edith, but all communication goes through Edith because Capitola and Agatha are not speaking. She also has a baby sister named Roxy (short for Roxeanne) who is 56 and lives the next town over. She will come help with Edith, as well, but is not quite as reliable and has twice given Edith the wrong medications. Agatha is married to a mostly deaf man named Robert who refuses to wear hearing aids and likes to watch the television turned up so loudly that it drives everyone crazy. They live in a small country town outside of Austin, Texas and are all native to the state.
Agatha is unhappy with her situation but believes in making the best of circumstances. Her husband Robert is a retired school maintenance man and keeps the house in good repair, so she figures that is good enough as far as their marriage is concerned. They are able to live off his retirement fairly well, especially since her parents left them the house and property when they passed. Agatha and Robert started a family right after she graduated high school in 1969 and she was a stay-at-home mother until the last of her three children went off to college. Then she began doing volunteer work and odd jobs trying to find something that she enjoyed. She enrolled in a few college courses, but she was miserable in a classroom. The only thing that brought her joy was driving back country roads listening to 60’s music like The Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Beach Boys, and Aretha Franklin with the dogs hanging their heads out the windows.
Agatha grew up comfortably with parents who were overwhelmed by having triplets but did their best to instill discipline and provide a loving environment. She is a member of the local church, but her attendance has dropped off in recent years. Her husband still attends but has given up pressuring her to go and simply tells people she is home taking care of her sister. When people from the church visit her and Edith, she is welcoming but has begun to question many of her own long-held beliefs. She keeps her thoughts to herself because she does not want to cause ripples of conflict in her family. The only chance she gets to speak freely is with strangers she gives rides to through the ride sharing app. She has three adult daughters, five granddaughters, and four great-granddaughters. Her sisters each have daughters, as well. No one in her immediate family has ever had a boy.
Agatha is afraid her sister Edith will die. Even worse, Agatha is afraid her sister Edith will not recover fully and will remain dependent on her forever. Agatha feels guilty for not wanting to continue to care for Edith, but also feels that it is her duty because she was given the house and property by her parents knowing that they expected her as the oldest to continue to look after the family. She does not want to be in the matriarchal role she has been assigned and wants to hop in her car and drive away, never to be heard from again. She is hurt by the rift with Capitola, worried about her 2nd oldest granddaughter who has developed an opioid addiction, her middle daughter Imogene who seems lonely and depressed, and her baby sister Roxy who is separated from her 5th husband and struggling to find her footing.
August uses a white board to explore and make a big mess connecting all the characters and mapping their relationships. August points out that after he has pictured the scene over and over again, then he gets it onto paper as fast as possible and it may appear as gibberish, bare bones, with awful dialogue. Besides using a standing desk to help with focus, he types on a bent broken keyboard to type sideways and spare his wrists. He tends to write whatever scene appeals to him and skips around a lot. Though he writes the very end early on so he knows the destination, his main focus is on the middle. He likes to write about people navigating between two worlds.
Aline Brosh McKenna Differences
McKenna sets specific goals for herself to feel that she has completed real work in a day. She needs an expanse of time that she is alone and able to “do her thing.” She says that she only has a few good ideas a year. She sees creativity as giving sudden birth to the idea and then has to work on it from there. It may come out fully formed, but other times it may need some work or you may need to start over. When she is ready to write the outline for her movie, she creates bullet points of all key scenes on big paper in three acts. She prefers to take the big paper to show people her idea instead of using cards. McKenna thinks it is more important to write something authentic than to worry about if it has ever been done before. For her, creativity happens due to habitual, consistent practice.
John August & Aline Brosh McKenna Similarities
Both writers work in office spaces they have designated for their craft. McKenna points out that she is able to get more done without the distractions of domestic life fighting for attention. Both writers use big spaces to initially plan their movie ideas. Both work at standing desks often. Both start with bare bones and end up handwriting the ideas after brainstorming. Both picture the movie in their head before writing it down. Both say they get many ideas, but only a few end up being really usable.
Ideas I will use
After watching these videos, I recommitted to setting up my writing space to make it more accessible for after my hip surgery and more user-friendly to make writing in the space productive. My husband and cousin worked all day Saturday with me to clean, sort, and declutter. Then they moved all of the heavy furniture around in our bedroom to create a corner with open-floor access to both my bed, the exit, and the restroom. I am quite pleased with the results and am currently working on this assignment in my new office. I love the idea of writing on large paper and am going to purchase some this week online. I am envisioning putting it on my wall next to my desk as I work and adding elements as I brainstorm. I plan to outline the bullet points of my movie like McKenna, which is already a technique I have used in writing. However, I am going to give myself permission to work on whichever scenes appeal to me the most, rather than feeling like I have to go in order, like August suggests. I am excited to give that a try.
Opening Image: 1986, darkness, blizzard, small wooden building mostly buried, barely visible light on a roof covered by snow in Antarctica.
Theme Stated: Being trapped together can bring out the worst in people.
The Setup: Two men have been snowed in together for months in Antarctica (Alvaro – Argentinian and Graham – Brit.) They are playing an ongoing chess game as they talk.
The Catalyst: Argument over Argentina victory over England World Cup 1986.
Debate: Hand of God argument/accusation
Break Into Act II: Dreaming of home
B Story: Discussions of home always bring out competition between the men and their prospective countries.
Fun and Games: Haley’s comet was lame (Alvaro’s argument) v. discovery of ozone hole was a victory (Graham’s argument)
Midpoint: Graham can’t take it anymore. He is going crazy and knocks over the chess board and shouts (There’s the hand of God for you!)
The Bad Guys Close In or Conflict Intensifies: Alvaro drinks the last New Coke.
All Is Lost: Graham raves and carries on because he can’t stand Alvaro and his constant teeth sucking, toe knuckle cracking, and snoring.
Dark Night of the Soul: Alvaro tries to calm Graham with stories of his childhood, reminders that there is only about a month to go before sunlight returns.
Break Into Act III: The calm before the storm
The Finale: Alvaro decides to read a book from their small library and Graham gives away the ending. Alvaro grabs an ice pick and attacks Graham.
Final Image: Alvaro reading his book in silence, blood splatter on his face, mumbles something about the (hand of God)
The Logline
Alvaro is determined to survive an Antarctic winter snowed in with a young man who is coming unhinged.
Image created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompt using AI on Gencraft.
FADE IN: EXT. BLIZZARD OUTSIDE A SMALL CABIN – PERPETUAL DARKNESS OF ARCTIC WINTER SUPER: ANTARCTICA 1986 INT. ANTARCTIC MID-WAY STATION FOR ARGENTINA/ENGLAND RESEARCH FACILITIES; COUCH AREA – 3:00PM ALVARO FERNANDEZ, 48, Argentinian, serious expression, sits as still as a statue as he studies a chess board silently on a makeshift coffee table. GRAHAM DAVIES, 26, British, expressive face, jittery, seems impatient. GRAHAM (British accent) Why does everything take you so long? Alvaro looks up at Graham but does not move. GRAHAM I can’t take much more of this. ALVARO (Argentinian accent) Two more months. Graham sighs and begins tapping his fingers on the table. GRAHAM It’s summertime back home. People are going to the coast. ALVARO Nothing better than football on the beach and a dip in the ocean. Graham crosses his arms and exhales loudly. GRAHAM I bet all of you Argentinians cheat when you play football. ALVARO We did not cheat. GRAHAM (Getting louder) Maradona used his hand. Two England players saw it with their own eyes. And Maradona practically admitted it. ALVARO No, he said it was la mano de Dios, the hand of God. GRAHAM Hand of God, my ass. I cannot believe Argentina won the world cup. You should be ashamed. Alvaro makes a move on the chess board. ALVARO I will never be ashamed of Argentina. GRAHAM Really? Not even for starting a stupid war? ALVARO I am proud of my people for their foolhardy attempt to defend the Maldinas. GRAHAM Well, we won that match fair and square. ALVARO Your country had no right to stake claim to our islands. Graham makes a move on the chess board. GRAHAM Haha! In your face. I stake claim to the Falklands and your bishop. ALVARO British Colonial occupation is at the heart of everything that is wrong with your country. GRAHAM At least we aren’t a dictatorship. ALVARO I have already explained to you that Argentina no longer has a dictatorship. I voted for President Alfonsin. GRAHAM Well, Margaret Thatcher already proved she could beat that guy. ALVARO She did not beat him. He was elected after the war. GRAHAM You have to admit she is impressive. ALVARO Impressively imperious. GRAHAM (pumping his fists in the air) The Iron Lady! ALVARO Exactly. Shouldn’t you despise her like the poor miners who were protesting against her? Graham shrugs and goes to the refrigerator to get a drink. GRAHAM I am going to drink one of my last New Cokes. ALVARO You said you were going to wait for a special occasion. GRAHAM I’ll still have one left. Plus, it is a special occasion. I’m about to beat you at chess. Graham pops open the New Coke and sits back down at the table. ALVARO (shaking his head) You have absolutely no self-control. Graham slurps loudly with every drink, belching between sips. ALVARO And you’re disgusting. How do you drink that? GRAHAM (belches a long loud one) You’re just jealous that you didn’t order some on the last shipment and now you have to wait until September. ALVARO I don’t drink soda. I prefer my tea. As a matter of fact, I’m going to make a cup after I beat you. Alvaro makes a move on the chess board. GRAHAM Damnit! Graham pounds the chess board scattering the pieces. GRAHAM There’s the hand of God for you! Graham storms out of the room and ALVARO begins cleaning up the chess game, but while staring at the pieces… DISSOLVE TO: INT. BY THE FRONT DOOR – ALVARO’S IMAGINATION Graham is dressed in his winter gear with measuring equipment. Alvaro is looking at charts on the wall. GRAHAM I’ll be back. ALVARO Be sure to check the generators. As soon as the door closes, Alvaro locks it from the inside and smiles. He sits on the couch reading a book and Graham can be heard screaming from outside, banging on the door to be let back in. DISSOLVE TO: INT. COUCH AREA – PRESENT 4:20PM Graham belches from the other room and the sound brings Alvaro back to the present. He gets up and goes to the kitchen area where he puts the kettle on and stares at it. DISSOLVE TO: FLASHBACK – MONTAGE INSIDE CABIN – ALVARO’S IMAGINATION Graham clips his toenails on the couch, sucks his teeth, drums on things while listening to a Walkman, slurps his soup, cracks his knuckles, chews with his mouth open, dumps his wet icy stuff by the front door, hocks loogies, talks nonstop, picks his nose… DISSOLVE TO: INT. KITCHEN STOVE – PRESENT 4:30PM The tea kettle WHISTLING brings Alvaro back to the present and he makes a cup of tea. GRAHAM (only heard) Ooh, I’ll take a cuppa. That sounds good. Alvaro sighs and begins to make a cup of tea for Graham. FADE TO: INT. SMALL TABLE – ALVARO’S IMAGINATION Graham LOUDLY STIRS his tea in an otherwise silent room, then begins to SLURP. Alvaro quietly drinks his tea and stares at Graham. Then his face becomes contorted. ALVARO Did you hear that? GRAHAM What? ALVARO (motions behind him) I think the rodent is back. Graham stands and takes a step toward the shelving area to look closer. Alvaro takes a powder from his pocket and dumps it into Graham’s tea. GRAHAM I don’t see anything. I’ll set more traps before bed. Graham sits back down and begins drinking his tea, then clutches at his throat and falls to the ground in death throes. DISSOLVE TO: INT. SMALL TABLE – PRESENT 4:45PM The sound of TINLKLING brings Alvaro back to the present. Graham is LOUDLY STIRRING his tea and taking LOUD SIPS. GRAHAM I wish it was New Coke. FADE TO: INT. WORK AREA – PRESENT 5:30PM Alvaro is looking at readings from machines. Graham is writing in a ledger. ALVARO Temperature Negative 39.8 Celsius. GRAHAM (scribbles and imitates Alvaro’s accent) Negative 39.8 Celsius. ALVARO Windspeed 70.8 Kilometers per hour. GRAHAM (scribbles and imitates Alvaro’s accent) 70.8 Kilometers per hour. ALVARO Precipitation, rain, zero millimeters. GRAHAM (scribbles and imitates Alvaro’s accent) Rain zero millimeters. ALVARO Do you have to repeat everything I say? GRAHAM (mocking) Do you have to repeat everything I say? FADE TO: INT. SHELVING AREA – PRESENT 6:00PM Alvaro is organizing equipment on the shelves. Graham is doing safety checks on gear. GRAHAM Why are we doing this again if we haven’t even used any of it? ALVARO Because it’s our job. GRAHAM It just seems like a waste of time. ALVARO Routine is important during these long winters. It helps us keep our wits about us. CUT TO: INT. SHELVING AREA – ALVARO’S IMAGINATION Alvaro stares at Graham for a moment, then pulls the entire shelving unit onto him, the sharp instruments impaling Graham and he lays dying, bleeding on the floor. DISSOLVE TO: INT. SHELVING AREA – PRESENT 6:20PM Graham BANGS something metal on the shelving. GRAHAM (holding a ski pole) I think there is significance to the fact that my research station is named after Edmund Haley and I am here when Haley’s comet passed by. ALVARO Perhaps. GRAHAM It’s not like your station has anything magical about it. What’s Belgrano, anyway? ALVARO It is quite significant. General Manuel Belgrano was a libertador who fought for independence and designed our national flag. GRAHAM Boring. ALVARO (wounded) Well, I was not very impressed by Haley’s comet. It was barely visible. Graham clutches at his chest and feigns a heart attack. GRAHAM Haley Research Station also discovered the ozone hole. ALVARO Belgrano studies cosmic noise. GRAHAM I don’t even know what that is. Alvaro walks away and turns on a radio, twisting the dial until he finds ARGENTENTIAN TANGO. He steps to the center of the room and motions for Graham to join him. GRAHAM (pouting) I’m not in the mood. Alvaro STOMPS and motions again. Graham sighs and slowly walks toward Alvaro. Alvaro gets into position to lead the tango and Graham becomes the follow. They begin to tango. ALVARO Remember your posture. Graham corrects his posture. GRAHAM I’ve decided who you remind me of. You’re a cross between Edward James Olmos and Pee-Wee Herman. ALVARO I have heard of Olmos. Not Herman. GRAHAM (Pee-Wee voice) I know you are, but what am I? Alvaro pulls back from the dance frame enough to look at Graham quizzically. GRAHAM (Pee-Wee voice) That’s my name don’t wear it out. ALVARO Is this a movie actor? GRAHAM Yes. He’s very famous. ALVARO Apparently not in Argentina. GRAHAM What movie did you see most recently? ALVARO La Historia Oficial, The Official Story. It is a harrowing tale about the effects of the dictatorship on one family and their adopted child. GRAHAM That sounds super boring. What about Rambo? ALVARO No. GRAHAM Jackie Chan? ALVARO Nope. GRAHAM Return of the Living Dead? ALVARO (shakes head no) GRAHAM Man, you are missing out. CUT TO: INT. WORK AREA – ALVARO’S IMAGINATION The music comes to a dramatic end and Alvaro dips Graham so that his head hits the counter splitting open with blood flowing everywhere and Graham falls to the floor dead. ALVARO Oops. DISSOLVE TO: INT. WORK AREA – PRESENT 7:00PM The sound of Graham GRUNTING brings Alvaro back to the present. GRAHAM Let me up, man. Alvaro pulls Graham back up from the dip and both are breathless. FADE TO: INT. TABLE – PRESENT 8:30PM Graham and Alvaro are putting together a puzzle. GRAHAM Since we’re 150 kilometers from both of our research centers, which one should I go to if something happens to you and you need emergency help? ALVARO What do you mean? GRAHAM Say you get hurt and I go for help, do I go to my people or yours? ALVARO We have an emergency telephone. GRAHAM But it goes out sometimes. If I had to make it to a station, I think I would go to Haley because they speak English. ALVARO There are plenty of people at Belgrano that speak English. GRAHAM (trying to force a piece) You know what I mean. That last guy that had to stop here spoke very little English. ALVARO That’s not true. GRAHAM He kept turning to you for explanations and talking in Spanish. ALVARO That was Italian. GRAHAM Well, whatever it was, he kept talking to you instead of me. ALVARO He did not always understand your idioms and expressions, but he is fluent in Spanish, English, and Italian. GRAHAM Hmmmphh. ALVARO How many languages do you speak? GRAHAM Just the Queen’s English. That’s the only one I need. ALVARO If you spoke Italian, you would have gathered that our visitor was not in the mood for a movie. He was exhausted. GRAHAM I thought it would be fun to make popcorn and entertain our guest. I even offered him a New Coke. ALVARO It was a nice gesture, but you need to learn to read social cues. GRAHAM Whatever… DISSOLVE TO: INT. TABLE – ALVARO’S IMAGINATION Graham’s voice fades out and Alvaro only sees his lips moving. Alvaro jumps on top of Graham, knocking his chair backward. A struggle ensues with Alvaro choking Graham to death. DISSOLVE TO: INT. TABLE – PRESENT 8:50PM GRAHAM (voice fades back in) Popcorn sounds good right now, as a matter of fact. Let’s watch a movie. ALVARO (a little disoriented) No, thanks. GRAHAM Come on. I don’t want to watch it by myself. You can pick. ALVARO We’ve seen them all. GRAHAM How about The Shining? ALVARO No, thanks. GRAHAM Sleepaway Camp? ALVARO (scrunches up face) No. GRAHAM How about romance? The Blue Lagoon. ALVARO (louder than usual) I said, no! GRAHAM Jeez. You don’t have to get your panties in a wad. FADE TO. INT. COUCH AREA – PRESENT 9:40PM Graham is SHARPENING an ice axe sitting on one end of the couch with his feet on the makeshift coffee table. Alvaro is at the other end of the couch reading a book. A few moments pass of no sound except SHARPENING and Alvaro TURNING A PAGE of his book. Graham stops sharpening and squints at the cover of the book Alvaro is reading. GRAHAM Is that one of the Agatha Christie books? ALVARO Mmm-hmmm. GRAHAM What’s it called? ALVARO Sleeping Murder. GRAHAM I think I read that one. ALVARO Shhh… Graham lays the ice axe down on the makeshift coffee table and leans in closer to look at the cover of the book. GRAHAM Yes. This is the one where it turns out to be the doctor all along, right? CUT TO: INT. COUCH AREA – ALVARO’S IMAGINATION Alvaro freezes, slowly looks up from the page, sets his book on the coffee table, and in one swift move grabs the ice axe and begins hacking at Graham. Blood splatters Alvaro’s face. Then Alvaro sits quietly back down, picks up the book, and gets back to reading. DISSOLVE TO: INT. ARGENTINE JAIL CELL – ALVARO’S IMAGINATION Alvaro sits on the lower bunk in a dirty prison jumpsuit, sweaty, with a shaved head. He is trying to read a book. CELLMATE, 24, shaved head, wearing only underwear, doing push ups. CELLMATE (in Spanish; subtitled) 77, 78, 79, 80 Cellmate jumps up and begins pacing the room. CELLMATE I can’t take 2 more years of this, man. I’m telling you, I’m gonna snap. Cellmate rips a piece of metal off the bunkbed and begins BANGING LOUDLY on the cell bars. DISSOLVE TO: INT. COUCH AREA – PRESENT 9:45PM Alvaro is still sitting holding his book. Graham is BANGING a piece of metal against his ice axe. GRAHAM (stops banging) I think I’m going to call it a day. ALVARO (a bit shaken, nods) Good night. Graham gets up and walks toward the bedroom. Then he turns and looks at Alvaro. GRAHAM You should probably get some sleep, too. You’re on toilet duty tomorrow and I plan on blowing it up tonight! Graham leaves the room chuckling to himself. Alvaro sighs, then sets the book on the makeshift coffee table and walks toward the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator and stares into it for a few seconds. Suddenly, a smile lights up his face. He takes the last New Coke out of the refrigerator, pops it open, and takes a sip. ALVARO (grimacing) Disgusting. Alvaro proceeds to dump the entire contents of the New Coke into the sink, looking back toward the bedroom a few times. Then he crumples the can and drops it into the sink. ALVARO (in Spanish; subtitled) The hand of God. FADE OUT. THE END
TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of violence, murder, and suicide.
Introduction
The idea for the story told in my screenplay came from a coworker who was a film major. I was picking his brain about how he came up with ideas for his screenplays, and he mentioned coming across random news articles and Wikipedia pages that he found interesting. His method resonated because of something I read in chapter 2 of Screenplay – The Foundations of Screenwriting. Syd Field writes, “An idea in the newspaper or on the TV news…can be the subject of a movie” (35). One particular topic that my coworker mentioned stuck with me. He said he came across crimes (including murders) that occurred in the Antarctic when people were stationed for long dark winter months at research facilities.
The idea germinated and led to research into the most notorious incidents. I thought it would be interesting to weave elements of real-life events and historical data into a fictional story of two characters trapped in Antarctica like the facilities mentioned online. The more I researched, the deeper I wove my way into a potential rivalry between two facilities 300 Km apart owned by Argentina and England. The fact that these countries have historically significant conflicts created perfect backgrounds for instant characters.
Peer Review Process
Because this field of writing is entirely new to me, the feedback process was crucial for my development. I was unsure and in need of support each step of the way. Dr. Johnson and my peers were kind and helpful with their suggestions and showed me ways in which my writing could be improved. The workshop of loglines, story beats, and treatments helped me to streamline the core conflict in the story. It also revealed gaps in my story arc and missing character arc elements. Dr. Johnson wrote, “Be sure we know what brought them there. And you may find you still need to simplify to fit in 15 pages. But don’t lose heart. The art of screenwriting is subtraction.” I had no idea how much subtraction would be necessary to complete the final draft, and the encouragement to not lose heart was helpful when my efforts felt fruitless at times.
My peer, Valencia wrote, “It was difficult for me to determine the protagonist’s progression, as I could not determine who was pushing the action until the finale. The ending was clear, with Alvaro killing Graham.” This specific advice guided me to hone in on the progression of my protagonist Alvaro and be sure his motivations, wants, and needs were clearer to the reader. I also appreciated that she mentioned the positive aspect of the ending making sense. It is nice to be told what is working and what still needs improvement. Another specific example of excellent feedback was from Damon who pointed out the following: “With the fantasies, you often put ‘return to present’, and each time I think I have just read a flashback…” Dr. Johnson also mentioned this and it made me realize that I needed to clarify that the scenes were happening in Alvaro’s imagination in order to help the reader understand the intention.
Slightly less helpful was feedback from peers that suggested changes based on personal opinions or preferences. However, I still appreciated their ideas and considered them as options to include or reject. For example, Damon suggested removing the tango scene in my script. He said, “…the idea of two men tangoing really doesn’t work unless some sexual tension arises.” I disagreed and decided to leave the scene in my script.
The experience of receiving feedback helped to guide my responses to my peers’ work. I strove to point out examples of quality work and suggestions for elements that could be improved. An example of pointing out quality work was when providing feedback to peer Flaxen, “…the suspenseful moments are the best…The catalyst, debate, and conflict portions are excellent. I can picture each of those as a moment that makes the audience flinch, if not jump out of their seats.” The suggestions for improvement were worded, “As far as your logline is concerned, I am wondering what the fateful decision is that the man must make. Is he contemplating suicide? I did not catch that as one of the beats. If so, you might want to include it since it would probably be a key scene just before the portal opens. Also, I suggest cutting out some of the detail from the logline.”
Analysis
The first film I analyzed was Crazy Rich Asians to create a beat sheet and logline. The process taught me the important plot points necessary to create the correct flow to a successful film. For example, the “All Is Lost” beat in Crazy Rich Asians is when Rachel finds out she is the illegitimate daughter of an adulteress; Nick’s grandmother forbids him to marry Rachel. This translated into the moment in my screenplay where Alvaro imagines himself in prison for killing Graham. This could be the moment of no return if he goes through with his murderous daydreams.
The next film I analyzed was Donkey. As part of the narrator’s character arc, he must confront his behavior and own the fact that he was a bully to Stanley when they were teenagers. I believe the writer had the end in mind before he started the script. The story seems driven to that point all along in the narrator’s storytelling and shows the pondering that the narrator does daily due to his surreal experience of knowing Stanley. This guided me to work to create a character arc showing Alvaro struggling internally in his relationship with Graham, but ultimately choosing mischief over harm.
The final important screenplay I analyzed was Nightcrawler. The pacing of the screenplay shows a ratcheting of tension building each scene that I attempted to emulate in my piece. Also, the lesson uncovering the wants and needs of the character Lou was extremely revelatory. I discovered that Lou wants money, plain and simple. He will do anything he can to make money that he believes to be within his skills set. The analogy drawn visually is to a coyote, always on the lookout for his next meal. However, his need for control took over and created a monster. This analysis helped me to look closer at my characters and pinpoint their wants and needs as I was planning their character arcs. I was also fascinated by the dialogue in Nightcrawler. Lou’s speech demonstrates his attitudes, motivations, and his thinking process. To be able to get all of that across in short lines of dialogue is quite skillful. I attempted to create dialogue in my screenplay that also showed the character shining through the word choice and cadence in the lines.
There are many qualities necessary to create a marketable screenplay. One element is a well-told story that grabs the reader’s attention in the opening scene like Lou in Nightcrawler scrapping stolen metal and robbing a security guard, then happening upon a car wreck that changes his life. Another element is well-developed characters who have clear character arcs like the narrator in Donkey. A third element is believable dialogue that keeps the story moving forward like Lou’s in Nightcrawler. The story must keep the reader’s attention and motivate them to read all the way to the very end because they must know the resolution. An excellent example of this is found in my peer Damon’s screenplay Free at Last. The reader is desperate for William to stand up to his mother-in-law and have agency. Thankfully, the reader is rewarded by William throwing shackles into the ocean and literally towering over the woman until she retreats.
Conclusion
My skills as a screenwriter were nonexistent prior to this course. This is my first experience writing a screenplay. I went from being overwhelmed and uncertain, to completing a short film screenplay in 10 weeks and know that I have the beginning tools necessary to continue working in this genre. My skills as a storyteller have also improved because of the intense focus on pairing down the information to only action and dialogue necessary to move the story forward. Learning to be succinct and making nothing superfluous is extremely difficult and will help with all future writing projects I take on. I was most afraid of learning the formatting of the screenplay and mastering the vernacular. Thanks to Dr. Johnson’s guidance and recommended resources, I can now write a screenplay using Final Draft software with minimal anxiety.
It has been an honor to begin this journey of learning screenwriting in the company of so many talented writers. The role of the screenwriter is underappreciated. Without them, there is no story. They create the idea that becomes the films we know and love. Prior to this course, I did not have realistic notions of being a screenwriter. I toyed with the idea that I would like to look into screenwriting, but quite honestly, I did not understand the complexity. I write novels and thought surely novel writing was much more involved and difficult than screenwriting. Now I know that my assumptions were way off base. I underestimated the focus, effort, and revisions necessary to create a quality screenplay. To winnow a story to its barest essentials is excruciating labor that takes more work than any other form of writing I have come across. Now I am eager for the challenge. I plan to begin working on a feature length screenplay as soon as I finish this course. I hope to enter the short film screenplay I finished for this class into several competitions. A new world of writing has opened up to me, and I am excited to begin working this craft armed with all the tools I have learned in this class.
Nightcrawler. Written by Dan Gilroy. Open Road Films, 2014, web.archive.org/web/20160815092156/http:/gointothestory.blcklst.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/NIGHTCRAWLER-Dan-Gilroy.pdf
Norko, Damon. Free at Last. 2021, file:///E:/Masters%207-11-21%204pm/Screenwriting/Week%208/FAL-%20Norko.pdf
Image created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompt using AI on Gencraft.
Image created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompt using AI on Gencraft.
The Shihan
David Marshall, Jr. does not look like a dangerous man. His slight stature, nerdy black glasses, and big disarming smile accompany an open manner that does not hesitate to shake the hand of a stranger. He says the best way to handle an altercation that could turn physical is to run as fast as possible in the other direction. But in a life and death situation against an aggressor bent on harm, my bets are on David. He is a real modern-day ninja, a Judan (10th degree black belt) in the martial art of Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu, a Shihan (master instructor.) David does not talk about his rank, abilities, or the specifics of his martial art to just anyone. His skills are like a carefully guarded secret that he shares only with his students.
Often the only black man in a dojo of white students, he is quick to welcome and encourage diversity. Women do not seem drawn as often to his art, but he is thrilled when they give it a try. He wishes I would take an interest but accepts that occasional spectator is as close as this pacifist plans to come to his passion. As his wife, I support his efforts and admire his way of life. As a writer, I am intrigued. What makes a person want to spend every extra dime on swords? What makes him want to work out and teach multiple nights per week in sweaty dojos? Why does he want to travel every possible vacation to Japan to train with the masters instead of going to Hawaii or on a cruise with me? What fuels his obsession with being a ninja? Why not start a new sport or do something different for variety?
The Senseis
Hatsumi Sensei’s whisps of purple hair are striking for an 89-year-old man. His movements are minimal, slow, and look simple compared to the devastating affects they have on the assigned attacker. It is harder for him to get down on his knees than it once was, but he was still teaching three times per week prior to the COVID outbreak. His home dojo is in Noda, Japan, called the hombu and is the world headquarters for the Bujinkan, the name for the international martial arts organization he leads. He is Soke, the headmaster of the nine schools of martial arts he teaches (three ninja, 6 samurai.) He is a writer, an artist, a teacher, and a legend. In his early years he worked as a bonesetter.
People, including my husband David, come from all over the world to learn from him and continue the tradition that has been passed down for generations. The first time David took a class with Soke, he walked in wearing an ancient fur vest over a t-shirt. He had on socks and one foot had been wrapped with a bandage that was coming loose. David says that the entire class the bandaged sock dangled and flapped, Hatsumi Sensei doing magic without a care, as unpretentious as could be.
A writer in Black Belt magazine once described him as “wild, funny, unpredictable…a cross between Charlie Chaplin and Obi-Wan Kenobi” (Black Belt). David remembers one demonstration where Hatsumi Sensei caused a man to flip simply with a twist of a pinky. Another memory is of Hatsumi Sensei sparring with a student and both disarming him of his practice sword, then hitting him with it. The movement was so sudden, so shocking, that multiple people, including David, reported feeling the sensation of physical pain across their own stomachs, and the action resulted in both silence and stillness in the rest of the dojo.
Japan
2010 was a rough year. David lost his cousin Officer Read of the Cedar Park Police Department in a motorcycle accident on the job. Then his first serious girlfriend broke up with him. He was devasted and knew that fulfilling his dream of going to Japan was the only thing that might help him to stay afloat. His closest aunt Rosalyn was one of his strongest supporters and encouraged him to take the first step, get his passport. Through his tears, he admitted that he had no extra money right then for a passport, so she drove to his place and brought him $135.
Inspired by her push, he sent everything off the very next day and things started looking up. He got a new job, got a car, and started saving for his trip. It took about 6 months, but he finally had enough saved to buy a plane ticket and made plans to go with a fellow martial artist named Joe P. Joe had been to Japan before and knew the complicated steps involved in the process. He already had a relationship with the various teachers and was familiar with the customs and traditions. Japan is a place where slight missteps can be considered extremely offensive. Tickets were bought, itineraries planned, and lodgings negotiated. It was really happening.
Cut to March 2011 and the earthquake off the coast of Tohoku that caused a tsunami killing nearly 20,000 people. David’s trip was planned for May and was now up in the air. Was it wise to go, especially since the Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant also melted down? Joe P. cancelled. If David still wanted to brave the mayhem, he would be on his own. Once again, Aunt Rosalyn to the rescue. She weighed in and encouraged David to let nothing stand in the way of his dreams – not natural disasters, not man-made disasters, and certainly not fear. He did not have a guide, did not speak Japanese, and would have to rely on the kindness of strangers for explanations and directions. This was pre-iphones, pre-Siri, pre-GPS at your fingertips. He would have to look at paper maps and write things down the old-fashioned way.
The Shihan
David fell in love with all things ninja related when he was a young child. He watched every martial arts movie or show on television he could involving kung fu, karate, ninjas, or samurais including Chinese Connection, No Reatreat, No Surrender, Revenge of the Ninja, Karate Kid, and Enter the Ninja, basically anything with Bruce Lee, Jean-Claude van Damme, Steven Seagal, or Chuck Norris. His dad did Taekwondo and Goju-Ryu Karate, but David’s mother felt he was too young. When he was around 8 years old, he discovered Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and his world was rocked. His true love was Leonardo because he was the most serious of the four turtles. Leonardo cared about the artform, especially the ninjutsu, and was the most authentic warrior. It took several years of begging, but when David was around 11 years old, his mother finally agreed to let him begin his training.
For 8 blissful months, David studied Shito-Ryu Karate at a dojo close to his home in Austin, TX under the direction of Dan Coslett and his son David Coslett. David remembers learning simple striking and kicking in the basic Okinawan style that gave him a strong foundation for practicing the balance and coordination that would be crucial to a lifetime of martial arts. He was only able to earn up to the level of yellow belt before his family moved to Pflugerville, TX and he had to quit for practical adult reasons.
He continued practicing on his own, not one to let his passions disappear. Though he was unable to afford classes, he never stopped dreaming of being a ninja. Even after outgrowing turtle mania, he read books and watched movies about ninjas. As a teenager, he would hang out in the martial arts section of the books stores while his mom shopped in the mall. He came across a book by Stephen K. Hayes called The Ninja and Their Secret Fighting Art and fell in love. It tells the story of a man who travels to Japan in search of a ninja master who could teach him real ninjutsu. On his quest, he finds Hatsumi Sensei and becomes one of the first Americans to intensely study the arts taught by the Soke.
David proceeded to read everything by Hayes he could get his hands on. When he was a freshman in high school, he flipped through the yellow pages and found a Bujinkan in Austin. Bujinkan means divine warrior training hall. It was a dojo shared by many different martial arts groups like a co-op. The group he was excited to discover was run by a man named Mike Fizeseri, who David immediately called. Mike crushed David’s excitement by explaining that he only teaches adults. His students are usually young men in their 20’s. The nature of the artform is much too dangerous for children and involves weapons training. He would have to wait at least 3 years to begin his ninja training.
The Senseis
Someya Sensei is one of David’s favorite masters to take classes from in Japan. He is a long-time student of Soke and is pure technique. He teaches the moves as they are supposed to be. He is all about precision and is certain students are grounded in fundamentals before moving on to other skills. David says he always adds to his body of knowledge when he takes classes with Someya Sensei. He insists on his students writing things down and provides time during and after classes for note taking. He was also the first to end a class with hot green tea and snacks so students could ask questions and commune. David discovered a shared love of a common samurai movie with the master called Lone Wolf and Cub during one such opportunity to sit and chat.
Japan
The first time David got on a plane to Japan, he flew out of Houston, Texas on a Sunday morning. A close friend and roommate drove him from Austin to Houston on the preceding Saturday night, and his mother got him a hotel so he could rest and wait comfortably. This first trip was a big adventure and David had many people who helped him along the way. Thankfully, the 10-hour flight was uneventful, and David was even able to sleep a little.
When he stepped out of the airport in Tokyo, the air was slightly cooler than in Texas. His host had told him to buy a train ticket and then had him write down a list of which stops to switch trains at so he would end up in a little town called Noda. It is in the prefecture (similar to an American state or county) of Chiba on the central eastern part of the island of Japan. If Japan is shaped a little like a boomerang, the hombu is in the bend. Once off the train in Noda, David’s ride was a no show. He called the number to the house where he planned to stay, and some other travelers came to retrieve him.
The room he rented ended up being a little like a hostel because the man overbooked. There were four beds total and they were already taken by two Norwegians, a Swede and an Israeli come to study just like David. Last to arrive, David had to make a pallet out of cushions on the floor for two days with the Swede and Israeli men. They all spoke multiple languages including English, so David was able to hear interesting tales from all over the world. When the Swede and Israeli guys left, David had the room to himself the rest of his two-week trip.
The Shihan
David kept calling Mike Fizeseri every few months. He says he wanted to make sure the Bujinkan was still there and going strong so it would be ready for him when he was old enough. He also continued to ask to be allowed to begin his training prior to turning 18. The answer was always the same, but David was persistent. Finally, when David was 17, he wore Mike down. He offered David the opportunity to come and observe a class with a parent. His dad accompanied him. It was 22 years ago, but David still remembers exact details like the fact that they were practicing wrist locks. He absolutely loved it and told Mike so. Mike agreed to begin teaching him prior to David turning 18 if his dad would sign a parental permission form with the clear understanding that David was training in a dangerous art. David Sr. agreed and David Jr.’s mom tolerated it, especially since he was paying for it himself.
The Senseis
Noguchi Sensei has been training under Soke for over 48 years. He is skilled in the arts of Taijutsu, Kenjutsu, Kyojutsu, and Henka. David says he likes the fact that Noguchi Sensei shows amazing variations of every move. He will demonstrate a skill, then show thousands of variations. His versatility in the art is fascinating. He will find a student doing something he wants to tweak, demonstrate the change, laugh, then walk on to someone else. There is joy and mirth in what he does. He will invite a student to punch him, then laugh as the student fall to the ground trying. He looks at another student and laughs like they’re sharing an inside joke. He loves to place people in awkward positions that force them to fall, then giggle as they try to figure out what he did. It is a specialty of his (Budo Mentors).
Japan
When David arrived in Japan for the first time, he left Texas on a Sunday, but arrived 10 hours later on a Monday. It’s like a magic trick, but the jet lag is real. David’s very first class in Japan was with Someya Sensei on a Tuesday afternoon. He was unaware of the amount of rest needed to recover from jet lag, but his adrenaline kept him going. Then, later that evening he got to take a class with the Soke himself. It was an epic start and was about to become even more memorable.
At the end of class Hatsumi Sensei asked who needed to take the Godan test. David and one other student raised their arms. David was faltering a bit, raising his hand only halfway, so a nearby peer helped him raise it higher, egging on the courage. David was called to the front of the room and told to kneel with his back to Noguchi Sensei. The test is for yondans (4th degree black belts) only, as it is the only way to become a godan (5th degree black belt.) The student sits on his heels and waits to be whacked on the head with a practice sword that will hurt, but not harm. The idea is that the student is supposed to move away from the sword in the nick of time by sensing that they are about to be hit. Their eyes are closed, and they are waiting for the sensei to decide to strike.
David was certain he would fail. He kept wanting to move, but also didn’t want to jump the gun, feeling a jittery jerking in his brain that he hoped was not showing in his body. Then he took a deep breath and accepted that he might fail. Suddenly, he felt like a weight was pressing down on his head and quickly rolled out of the way. When he looked back, Someya Sensei held the sword to the ground, having just completed his strike. David passed the test and was told later by another student that his timing was perfect, his roll coming at the exact second the sword would have struck his head. The point of the test is to demonstrate to the Soke that a student can sense the presence of danger and avoid it. This is considered a primary survival skill in the art and proves that the student is now able to teach others and open their own Bujinkan dojo because he or she is now protected by the Guiding Spirits called the Bujin. David did not plan to begin teaching then, but he now had the option if he wanted to.
The Shihan
When David decided to go to college in Waco, TX, it meant leaving his first real Bujinkan behind. It was a tough decision, but he tried to view it as simply a break in training that would resume once he had his degree. Little did he know, the dojo was underfunded, would lose the space they rented, and fold. He would never get the chance to train there again.
As he did in his childhood days, he continued practicing alone when he could. Classes and work kept him busy, but he also made time for one of his favorite hobbies, role playing Dungeons and Dragons. He and a group of other guys would meet at a local hobby game store called Game Closet where people came to buy miniatures for tabletop war games, comic books, role-playing books, and board games. At one point in their role-playing, some of the guys started horsing around acting like they were fighting for real and a fellow named Brent D. crouched into a position called a kamae. David recognized the position as one that is only taught in Taijutsu. Sure enough, Brent was a fellow student of the art. He was able to introduce David to a group of other students who would meet on Saturdays at the rec area across from his dorm. They would practice rolls, kamae, and strikes. When he left Austin for Waco, he was a green belt 9th kyu. By the time he finished college, he had been promoted to 1st dan (1st degree black belt.)
All images created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompts using AI on Gencraft.com website.
WARNING – SPOILERS
A Court of Wings & Ruin, the 3rd book in the ACOTAR series, held its own in the cannon. It was not my favorite of the books but was a necessary middle step to Feyre righting her life and fully coming into her own. She must make more heartbreaking decisions to save herself, save those she loves, and end things once and for all with her past relationships that keep weighing her down.
I like that the book is messy, things don’t go as planned quite often, pivots must be made, and even immortal beings must repeatedly circle back to try to fix things over and over again. It feels very human, very relatable to not have everything be an easy win as these magnificent beings battle their way to try to save the world. There are gigantic beasts, ulterior motives, dark ancient magic, impossible choices, and unlikely alliances.
Elaine (Feyer’s sister) begins to come into her own as she wrestles with her powerful gifts in this book. And her lack of interest in the being to whom fate has declared her a mate is a fascinating twist. Nesta must figure out how to live in this world she hates, and grapple with why she is strangely drawn to Cassian. I love that her character is super cantankerous. She is not very likeable, and that makes her interesting. She doesn’t seem to care about being liked. Feyre and her mate keep our hearts pounding with their love. And Mor’s secrets about her love life are a perfectly revealing piece of the puzzle.
I must say that the deaths in this book had me sobbing. I will say no more about that, so I don’t ruin anything too grievous for anyone. I will simply say that the toll of war is well-depicted and heartbreakingly devastating.
Maas, Sarah J. A Court of Wings and Ruin. Bloomsbury Publishing, 2017.
All images created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompts using AI on Gencraft.com website.
I struggled to finish Your Subconscious Brain Can Change Your Life by Dr. Mike Dow. Though the information is fabulous, and the techniques seem like valuable hypnotherapeutic practices, it felt like a medical textbook. That said, in the back of the book is a link to recorded resources for retraining the subconscious by listening to scripts. I have only just begun listening to them, but think I might have stumbled across some really helpful tools this way. Perhaps I should have listened to this book as an audio book, rather than reading it.
The practice is called Subconscious Visualization Technique and is recommended to be paired with other more traditional methods like medication, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, etc. The author shows in study after study that SVT, when paired with other strategies, boosts recovery, decreases pain, and increases positive desired effects beyond traditional strategies only. And in some cases, SVT alone outpaces the traditional treatments.
The mind can be a very powerful ally if we learn to partner with it, train it, and set it to work on the systems that run these complex machines we live in. Though I cannot recommend the book as an enjoyable read, it is certainly an excellent resource and provides access to hypnotherapeutic recordings via links in the back that could prove invaluable. I have only listened to one so far, so the jury is still out, but I plan to continue listening to them and seeing how they help with reducing pain and inflammation, and increasing joy and contentment in my life.
Dow, Dr, Mike, Your Subconscious Brain Can Change Your Life, Hay House, Inc., 2019.
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