I am immersed in creativity daily the way my dog is absorbed in the smells of the morning leading him on a one-track hunt for something novel, and if all else fails, to discover again the thing he found yesterday that probably needs to be bothered some more because when inspiration strikes, one must follow the nose.
I do work that I feel confident doing. It stretches me and can be a complicated puzzle that feels unsolvable at times, but I am fully cognizant of my abilities, able to slow my pulse, take a deep breath, and start at the very beginning because Julie Andrews says that’s a very good place to start, and she knows things.
Old dogs can learn new tricks, though they might need some accommodations to help them master the same skills. Honestly, whomever thought to suggest phrases like neutral face and thinking-face when hovering above emojis not only blessed those of us who struggle to read faces, but those of us unaccustomed to reading little circular yellow faces as part of our regular workday because we grew up with rotary phones, and being able to metaphorically clutch my pearls by clicking on a gasp emoji might come in quite handy someday.
My grandmother worked in the tech sector via telecommunications back when switchboard operators used call signs like Capital 5 instead of area codes and you could call an actual human to ask for the time of day.
She never imagined she would add butterfly emojis as her call sign in messages she would send to her great-great- granddaughter someday, and I never imagined I would be helping AI improve her reasoning skills, but I come from a long line of women who know how to adapt, are not afraid of exploring the unknown, and will learn what we need to learn to take care of this next generation of forward thinkers.
Choosing to love is not easy when he forgets to put his towel in the hamper, leaves a greasy cast iron skillet on the stove, lets the rain destroy my box of mementos, or flings open the door startling me again.
Falling in love happens effortlessly when he brags about me in front of his friends, asks how he can support me as I grieve, holds me close and lets me cry until I’m spent, and makes time to play with our grandchildren.
Remembering to love is not simple when he refuses to argue/walks away from my anger, chews too loudly while leaving crumbs, forgets what I’ve told him and blames me, or acts irritated when asked to clean.
Being in love is a piece of cake when he takes me to coffee shops to write and sip tea, laughs unabashedly at TikToks with me, says I’m smart and shows he values my ideas, and is a good sport with my giant family.
I am happy and in love with my partner.
@Home Studio – 51st poem of the year
Runner ups for the AI hands (which AI really struggles with for some reason, so these are really funny) photos to accompany my poem:
I am a woman of integrity. What you see is what you get— the whole package wrapped up in flaws, sewn together with duct tape and staple-shaped scars but built to endure adversity. My O-rings maintain elasticity no matter the cold they endure, resilience practically my middle name, so fire away and prepare to launch; what could go wrong?
I feel comfortable in my own skin and when I’m not, like when the sky is inside me and I am surrounding the sun and moon, or when the ocean is me and the wind is my lover holding open the door to a terrace overlooking the most beautiful view of wrinkled valleys and snow-white mountains freckled with the tiniest starry pinpoints of perfection.
My Mema passed away this morning. I had the privilege of spending 50 years in her presence. I will miss her something fierce. She has a husband she was married to for over 70 years, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren, not to mention every other possible connection to people far and wide.
Mema and Grandad
I lotioned your feet, then hands with white jasmine-scented Bath & Body Works Miriam gave me and tucked you in the way you like, brushed your hair and read you your texts, then some Bible verses of comfort— Isaiah 40, the first one that surfaced.
The steady sounds of the ICU create a strangely soothing white noise as a backdrop to your labored breaths. Lydia is here again to hold your hand just one more time; one of many one more times over the last few days because each time could be the last.
The you I know is no longer here, but the shell remains and deserves gentle petting and reassurance. Goodness knows how many times you had to ‘there, there’ me in the last 50 years, buoying my spirits and righting my sails with your steady faith and calm.
Boaz sat vigil until I arrived, and your children and husband will take over after I leave — we are all branches of a grand candelabra you have lit with exuberance, spreading across states and time, thankful to have been influenced by the life you lived and the love which from your cup overflowed.
@ICU Room 1 St. David’s Round Rock Hospital & Home Studio – 48th poem of the year
I live in a climate that I love with cool breezes reminding me to wear a sweater while sitting outside on my porch. The seasons announce themselves proudly with soft snowfalls, flower festivals, sunshine, and hillsides covered in amber. No longer do I dread the pain of a Texas summer with solar flare-esque heat and drought dry days of endless monotony painted dull brown and lifeless. I wake up each morning breathing in air free of hayseed allergens and cedar pollen intent on murder and mayhem. Only fresh scents of flowers blooming in our garden next to cilantro, green onion, and mint call out to me. And the evening fires we light (because their crackle is the perfect juxtaposition to the crisp night air) are the right way to end the day and toast the sweetness of this blessed life.
I live in a village with supportive women surrounding me and I am loved. A miniature donkey greets me like a doting dog begging for treats, and a chicken follows me everywhere I go because she loves sitting in my lap while I write. As a child, I never longed for this life; it just happened when I was busy doing the business of being my best self and nurturing the guests who show up in need of a crust of bread and a cool glass of water on their journey home.
“You are your own alchemist, constantly transmuting dull, lifeless molecules into the living embodiment of yourself.” Deepak Chopra’s The Way of the Wizard
Constant flux and empty space are the stuff of solidity of which we are made and insist are real. Whereas, the cloud of energy, shadow and light, layers of love around a timeless soul core are supposedly fantasy imaginings. Whose version of truth gains most traction has less to do with rightness and more to do with convenience, since substantial introspection is hard and surface knowledge is easier to tolerate. Turning yourself into gold is an alchemy most are unwilling to pursue, and would rather label distasteful or nonsensical than undertake an inconceivable quest.
@Home Studio – 45th poem of the year
Chopra, Deepak. The Way of the Wizard: Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want. New York, United States of America, Harmony Books, 1995, pp.80-84.
Runner ups for the AI alchemy photos to accompany my poem:
I am living a vibrant spiritual life, full of love and joy, peace and calm. The paraphernalia of ritual surrounds me in my cave of books and comfort. An open door invites a breeze as animals saunter in and out on a whim. We check on each other through thought and glance, caress and scent. Fanciful shadows from candlelight play with the eye of an owl who nestles against his own moon. Time slips through my hourglass, but I don’t mind because this moment is eternally engrained in the white sand.
@Home Studio – 44th poem of the year
Runner ups for the owl moon photos to accompany my poem: