Category Archives: Writing

Essays, Writing

Discouragement

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I had what felt like a setback last week.  I can’t really go into detail, but was required to remove my books from a library, change aspects of said book, and accept feedback I did not want to hear from people I did not want to hear it from.  Sigh…

I have allowed this incident to discourage me to the point that I have not written since then.  I sat down with a cup of tea and tried to write a poem this morning and couldn’t get through it.   Now it is almost bedtime and this post will have to do as my attempt at putting myself back into writer mode.  A blog at least counts as something.

I know many writers have faced discouragement, rejection, rewrites, and edits that destroy the soul of the work.    They have to pull themselves out of funks and get back to the craft.  And I will.  I am temporarily in mourning.  This depression will not get the best of me.  It is simply a detour on my journey.  I will find my way back.  This post is a start.

Essays, Writing

Tea Party

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I went to a lovely tea party at the Christadelphian Hall.  My mother and granddaughter sat at the table with me and enjoyed a delicious spread, a variety of teas, and fun conversation.  A Bible class was led by Maritta Terrell pointing out metaphors for spiritual life in the form of tea.  Ideas like the following:

  1.  It is what’s inside that counts.  The tea bag itself is not significant.  It’s the tea leaves that create the flavor.
  2. Hot water is needed to steep the tea.  Just like we are tested at times to see what we’re made of.
  3. It takes time to steep tea.  We need to be patient with ourselves.
  4. Additives make it even better.  I prefer cream and sugar in mine.  Our connections with others add to our experience and make life better.

I am not a member of the Christadelphians anymore, but I am thankful for the foundation of discipline, critical thinking, ethical standards, and examples of faith that have helped to shape me.  I was asked when I would return as a member by a dear friend at the tea party.  I explained that my current status as a feminist makes such a likelihood improbable.

But these people are my family, my past, and hopefully part of my future.  If they will accept my presence without complete agreement with their views, I will continue to visit and connect.  I love tea parties!

Essays, Writing

1st Day of Pre-K

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My granddaughter Charlotte started school today.  I got up extra early to do her hair and help in any way I could to get the family out the door on time.  I believe all went according to plan so Charlotte and her entourage began their trek on time.  Three adults and her baby brother accompanied her on this momentous morning.  I’m so glad everyone made a big deal about the beginning of this educational journey that she has begun.

As a teacher and a lifelong learner, the first day of school for any kid is cause for celebration.  What is more exciting than diving into a world of unlimited intellectual expansion?  Becoming a part of a cohort of learners with whom you will share the experience?  Entrusting your development to a human being who will forever be remembered as larger than life?

Monday will be my 42nd first day of school.  I look forward to this next batch of youngsters that I will have the opportunity to learn from.  Every year feels full of potential, full of hope, and most certainly full of anticipation.  I know some of my students may not have the same joyous energy of expectation for the first day of school as me.  That’s ok.  Exuberance is contagious.  I’ll share mine.

I’m so glad my daughter and other family members circled around my granddaughter and walked as a village to her school.  She has a long, fabulous, winding educational road ahead of her.  As one of her great-grandfather’s said, “Today Pre-K, before you know it, college!”

 

Health, Writing

Whole30

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Photo by Buenosia Carol from Pexels

This is not a picture of the beautiful salad I made for dinner last night, but is actually almost identical.  I am not hungry when I eat really healthy like this.  I am also not super preoccupied with food.  I have my snacks ready like fruit, nuts, carrots, and boiled eggs.  I add some avacado to my dishes.  That makes me feel full.  It really is going easier than I imagined.  So far, so good.

On Whole30, I am not supposed to step on a scale for 30 days.  I really want to, though, to see if I’ve lost some.  My clothes feel a little looser and I have a tiny bit more energy.  The pain level is still high, but I think getting in and out of bed was a little less horrible last night.  It might be the placebo affect, but eating healthy can’t hurt!

I will be sure to post again at the end of the 30 days to report my progress.  So far, I recommend trying it.  At least I feel good about myself and know that what I am eating is healthy.

Essays, Writing

Musical Bribery

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Music is a fantastic way to bribe (ahem) encourage high school students to behave in the classroom.  Nobody is allergic, it won’t send anyone into a diabetic coma, and it is free if you have YouTube!  I let each student pick a song to add to our ever-expanding playlist.  It can be any genre as long as the lyrics are appropriate for a classroom.  I am fairly conservative with my judgment because I don’t want my principal walking in to “I Wanna Sex You Up” type lyrics.  Also, my classroom is in a psychiatric treatment center and we have to be aware of patients’ triggers.  If the song is screamy or super energizing, we might save it for an exercise break, clean up time, or as part of a game.  I don’t play Lamb of God’s Set to Fail when we are in the middle of a test.  Common sense needed.      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc-C3Iove3I

As long as students are working, giving best effort, and meeting expectations, we play our class playlist.  If not, the music gets turned off.  I love it when I hear kids policing each other.  “Stop talking to me or she’ll turn off the music.”  “Do your work or she’s going to turn off the music.”  It brings joy to my heart.  Another one I’ve heard is “Be nice to her, she lets us listen to music.”  I wonder if music has helped keep me from getting punched in the face all these years…

One of the coolest effects of music chosen by students is all the new songs I have been exposed to because of their varied tastes.  I never would have found some of these songs or artists on my own.   These may not be the clean versions, so if you are a teacher, be sure to listen to them for yourself before playing them for your particular group of kids.  Students introduced me to the following:                 Weak by Wet.                                                       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L2tfNrKsYI                                Steve Lacy’s      C U Girl                                        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KJIUXbfARk                               This Too Shall Pass by Ok Go                       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juX7VJIMsqc                               High Tops by Del Water Gap                                                 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksrb33z3boo                                         Alec Benjamin’s My Mother’s Eyes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q_15W7eBH8                                   Color Blind by Diplo (featuring Lil Xan) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ResGBWo10GQ                                  Juice WRLD’s Lucid Dreams                          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fh64GbFSw4                                      Long Black Train by Josh Turner                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZtwxc423jg                                          Falling Down by Lil Peep and XXXTentacion    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0jIW_pgGzE

Those are just a few from the last semester that I thought were worth sharing.  Since I mostly listen to easy listening/70’s/80’s/Pop music, it introduces me to some of the new stuff kids like (or old stuff I’ve never been exposed to.)  And I get to share some of the songs I like with them.  Many have never heard songs I choose by Prince, Bob Dylan, The Who, The Beatles, Blondie, Creedance Clearwater Revival, Duran Duran, The Cure, U2, etc.  They are intrigued, though, often write down the name of the song and band and want to look it up when they get home.  It fosters a back and forth that is purely enjoyment based.

I may tweak my system a little this year, but will definitely still be using music in my classroom to foster interest, good behavior, and a little bit of buy in to our classroom.  It’s like saying, “I get you.  Your taste in music is noted and appreciated.  Let’s share it with everyone.”

(The picture above is Lil Xan, a current musician? some of the kids like.   All music was once radical to somebody.)

Fiction, Writing

Descent Book Review

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I read the novel Descent on a whim at the recommendation of a coworker and a student in one of my summer classes.  It was a page-turner to rival the likes of James Patterson.  What I wasn’t expecting was the surprisingly intricate prose.  I was reminded of F. Scott Fitzgerald.

The subject matter was dark, but written gorgeously. While on vacation in the mountains, a teenage girl goes on a run with her younger brother following on a bike for protection.  Disastrously, the brother is injured and the girl is kidnapped.  This is not too much of a spoiler since it occurs in the first few pages of the novel.  The rest of the book is varying accounts told from the perspectives of each family member (and others) spanning several years of searching for the girl, dealing with life without her, and hoping she’s still alive.

The characters are well-developed and each of their motivations, fears, and doubts is picked apart like clues at a crime scene.  Several themes that stood out for me were the ways in which we cope with tragedy, the power of survival instinct, and the lengths we go to for those we love.

Some of the scenes were too intense, gruesome, and mature for children.  One brutal rape scene in particular is much too graphic to be allowed in my psych facility school library.    But that intensity is part of what made the book hard to put down.

This DESCENT into depravity is paired with breathtaking views of snow-capped mountains, deep ravines, and forests.  Whether by escape, rescue, or death, the reader needs resolution of some kind, any kind, which makes the book impossible to put down.

 

Essays, Writing

Teacher Dream

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I dreamed that I used Sawyer’s new classroom for summer school and still had my desk and some supplies in there on the first day of school.  La Casa was my first period class, so as they were coming in the room, I asked them to help me move.  Several of the boys picked up my desk and carried it out the door.  Eagles were coming in one door as we were leaving out another.  It was mass chaos.  Jim Perryman was teaching a SAMA class in the middle of the hallway because he couldn’t find the new SAMA room.  I was horrified because now the kids would see all our secret ninja moves and be able to get away from us in holds.

Skip to me walking into the wrong room and Lacy grabbing me to let me know she put some library books in my room that a girl was returning.  I told her I wasn’t sure where my room was.  She said, “Well, when you find it, there are books in there.”

Skip to faculty meeting.  President Obama is our principal and he is chewing us out.  I think it is still the first day of school, I don’t know where my desk has gone off to, or my students for that matter, and I still don’t know where my new classroom is.  He is furious because no one entered their progress report grades.  Apparently, school has been in session for 3 weeks and no one has entered a single grade.  He gives me a very pointed look and I am devastated because I have disappointed principal Obama.

Essays, Writing

Convocation

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Some coworkers and I have traveled to San Antonio to stay the night in a hotel.  Tomorrow is our convocation – that is a fancy name for first day back to work for teachers.  We will all come together in a conference room or hotel ballroom of some sort and listen to speakers motivate us, tell us how wonderful we are for choosing our profession, how special our kids are, and how unique our school district is because of our mission.

I happen to love these sappy moments of reveling in the greatness that is a room full of teachers gearing up for a new school year.  It feels like a locker room pre-game.  Everyone is excited and talkative, getting pumped up for a win.  The band is warming up, the cheerleaders are doing a dance routine, the crowd is buying snacks and settling into their seats…

Do they still pray before sports games?  They did when I was in school in the south and I always loved the moment an entire crowd grew silent, listening to someone’s plea for safety and sportsmanship, hoping GOD would take the time to drop by for the game.

That is how these things feel to me…almost holy.  Some teachers have confided in me that they hate these events, find them silly, wish money were spent more wisely, feel demeaned by team-building.  I guess I am fodder for the peddling preacher that is a school superintendent.  I want to believe that what we do is holy.  I want to believe that GOD is in my classroom filling the space between outbursts and anger, fear and refusal.  That the kids whose lives will touch mine will be bathed in grace and sent back out into the world nourished…or at least comforted.

I hope every teacher out there preparing for our next batch of kids gets the chance to feel encouraged, valued, and inspired at their convocation.  It is a uniquely teacher-y thing that I for one am glad exists.

 

Poetry, Writing

Whose Orchid?

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An orchid appeared

on my counter last week.

It’s stick-straight stems

point proudly skyward

upholding regal blooms

of white with

painted purple lips.

Waxy long leaves

splay around the base

as though palms upturned

in adoration.

Imagine my pleasure

upon discovering that

the beautiful blossoms

in question were left

for me by my daughter.

Symbolic of elegance

and fertility,

love and respect.

Printed directions

attached to a stick

explain care and feeding,

so my granddaughter

places three ice cubes

reverently just above the roots

and waits to see

what happens next.