Tag Archives: Health

Health, Writing

Whole30

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Photo by Buenosia Carol from Pexels

This is not a picture of the beautiful salad I made for dinner last night, but is actually almost identical.  I am not hungry when I eat really healthy like this.  I am also not super preoccupied with food.  I have my snacks ready like fruit, nuts, carrots, and boiled eggs.  I add some avacado to my dishes.  That makes me feel full.  It really is going easier than I imagined.  So far, so good.

On Whole30, I am not supposed to step on a scale for 30 days.  I really want to, though, to see if I’ve lost some.  My clothes feel a little looser and I have a tiny bit more energy.  The pain level is still high, but I think getting in and out of bed was a little less horrible last night.  It might be the placebo affect, but eating healthy can’t hurt!

I will be sure to post again at the end of the 30 days to report my progress.  So far, I recommend trying it.  At least I feel good about myself and know that what I am eating is healthy.

Health, Writing

Swimming

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Today was my first day back to swimming after a lapse. I used to be able to swim a mile in one go. Today I only did 6 laps .09 miles. I guess I have to start somewhere. By the end of the summer, I want to be able to swim a mile straight again!

My system is to alternate arm laps and leg laps. And I meditate on one word/concept per lap. Today, my meditation mantras were:

Love

Joy

Peace

Health/Wellness/Well/Whole

God

Enough/Plenty/Abundance

Health, Poetry, Writing

Medication Experiment

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I am taking medication

to relieve pain.

It is an experiment.

Does it help?

Am I better?

All I know is that

my mind is free to

feel joy:

for my best friend’s

IRS windfall,

my husband

on his way home,

our dog

not escaped,

the tea pot

boiling,

another episode of House

cued up,

my bed

waiting for me.

These are not new,

but my ability to

appreciate them is.

My pleasure is sincere.

The pain is still there.

I am not cured.

No marathons are in my future.

But there is a tiny space,

a slight cushion of awareness,

a sliver of hope that wasn’t

present before.

Like the absence of

intensity has given breathing room,

possibility of expansion,

a moment of focus on something

other than merely coping.

The pain is not gone,

but neither is my mind.

 

RJMarshall 6/2/16

Health, Writing

Time For Tea – (Day 24)

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Today’s assignment was to ask someone out for coffee and then write about it.

I’m not a coffee drinker, but tea is right up my alley.  I found myself with some free time in the middle of the day, a rarity.  I asked my best friend Erica if she would like to get together and suggested either Cheesecake Factory or The Steeping Room.  My only hesitation on The Steeping Room was the need for a reservation, which also meant committing to a time schedule (which could fall through depending on many factors – mostly her busy workday and dealing with twin three-year-olds.)  She preferred The Steeping Room due to dietary gluten-free concerns and made the reservation for us.  She also offered to drive.  Apparently, she always gets “glutened” as she calls it when she goes to the Cheesecake Factory, despite the fact that they have a gluten-free menu and gluten-free options.

We talked about my pain level, marriage to my sweet husband, photography (her passion right now), her boys, our exes, my kids, my granddaughter, and my writing course I was finishing up.  She ordered Mexican Hot Chocolate with some alternative milk and a gluten-free grilled cheese sandwich that she adores.  I got Hibiscus Iced Tea and the Buddha Bowl – a hodgepodge of sweet potato, beans, chicken, greens of the day, grains of the day, and a delicious cashew dressing.  I crave it in between chances to eat there.

We bemoaned our fatness, talked about what has worked lately to sate appetite and manage cravings, reminisced about the good ol’ days when it was easier to lose weight and move…

Mostly, we just caught up on life and enjoyed some stolen moments in the middle of the day without children, grandchildren, work, or obligations.  It was a lovely time and will hopefully be repeated many more times in the future.

Health, Writing

Hoarding – (Day 22)

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Today’s topic is to consider what I might be hoarding that I need to get rid of or share with others:

  1. My writing – I need to get my poetry and books out there to share with others.
  2. Clothes, furniture, blankets, miscellaneous junk in my garage – All of that could go to a thrift store so someone else can enjoy it.
  3. Excess weight – It is not benefiting anyone in any way.
  4. Guilt, Shame, Worry – That is detrimental and needs to be managed or disposed of.
  5. Pain – It needs to be gone.

That is all I can think of right now that I may be hoarding.

Health, Writing

What is to be done? – (Day 19)

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Today’s assignment is the completion of yesterday’s complaints/grievances.  I was supposed to consider anything I could do to improve any of those areas.

Pain – I have been trying everything suggested to manage my pain.  I will continue to try different things until I find an answer.  At this moment, I do not have a satisfactory solution.  If I had one, I would quickly employ it.  I do not want to take medications that could become addictive or have other unhealthy side-affects.  I use chiropractic care currently and take some anti-inflammatories when I can barely cope.  Ice helps, as does rest.  Mostly, I cry, and moan, and shift positions until I can bear the discomfort temporarily.

Excess Weight – I joined Weight Watchers and tried pretty hard for about a month.  Then I didn’t try very hard for about a month.  I suppose I should try again (I’m stuck for at least another month in order to get one of my months back free.)

Joint Problems – See pain…except that I know I need to get back to my stretching to improve my flexibility.

Too much Housekeeping – I need to streamline my chores, actually do them regularly, ask David to do more, and continue to declutter so there is less to clean.

David’s Dog – I try not to do much related to Aiko.  I need to encourage David to get her into obedience training, though.

Low Energy – Not sure on this one.  I’m getting enough sleep.  Maybe weight loss and less pain could improve the low energy.

Ungrateful Children – Not much I can do here, but I can let my kids know when they have hurt my feelings and set some boundaries when I feel taken advantage of.

Depression – Again, I don’t want to take medication.  In the past there have been too many side affects.  I think the weight, pain, joint problems, and energy are all connected to the depression.

Unpleasant Hurtful Ex-Husband – There is nothing I can do about this right now.  I just continue to take the high road.

Religious Discomfort – I think I need to recommit to prayer time.  I am doing some meditation and reading spiritual matters, but feel like prayer is lacking.  The discomfort related to my religion of origin may resolve itself someday, but for now, I think I just have to sit with it.

Tight Finances – I am working to try to publish.  I am hoping that will be my ticket to more finances so the tightness will disappear.

Taxes – I have set up a payment plan.  It will take time.

Unkind People Who Purposely Hurt Others – Nothing I can do there, except speak up when I see it happen.

Bedtime Schedules – I don’t think there is a solution to this.  David is a night owl.  I like to go to bed early and rise early whenever I can.  I need to talk to David and try to problem-solve.

Having to work too much – I am going to publish books.  That will be my supplementary income.  Then I can just teach and write.  I won’t need a second job.

Health, Writing

Complaints – (Day 19)

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Today’s assignment is to list complaints/grievances and determine if I can do anything about them.

I found the definition of grievance interesting – a real or imagined cause for complaint.  Some of mine are probably imaginary.

Complaints/Grievances:  pain, excess weight, joint problems, too much housekeeping, David’s dog, low energy, ungrateful children, depression, unpleasant hurtful ex-husband, religious discomfort, tight finances, taxes, unkind people who purposely hurt others, bedtime schedules (mine and David’s don’t match), having to work too much

It is too overwhelming right now to think of any ways that I can do anything about these complaints/grievances.  I’m irritated just listing them.  Perhaps tomorrow I’ll consider ways to fix things, but for now I’ll let them sit right where they are…

Health, Writing

Weight Watchers – (Day 18)

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My assignment for today was to turn to the person next to me and ask what I should write about.  That just so happens to be my husband David.  He suggested writing about my disappointment with my body lately via my Weight Watchers program.  Those weren’t his exact words, but that was the general gist.

So earlier he asked how my program was going.  That is just opening a whole can of worms.  Not only have I not been following my program, but tomorrow is weigh in day and I don’t even want to go.  I didn’t go last week because I was sick.  I had been doing well up until I got sick.  Then I couldn’t find anything that would sit well on my stomach for days afterwards.  I basically ate whatever tasted good and as much of that as I wanted.

Anyway, that was the beginning of a downward spiral as far as portion control, healthy eating, and tracking what I eat.  I have had over a week of eating everything in sight until I actually felt full.  Sigh…

I was doing really well for six weeks.  I lost seven pounds, was moving around a bit more, and felt like I was making better choices over all.  Honestly, though, I was still hungry often and not really satisfied.  I felt like I was always on guard, writing down every single thing that went into my mouth, belaboring how many points everything was, and debating the merits of each and every bite.  It felt a little neurotic, but at least I wasn’t gaining any more weight.

I am fairly certain that if I go to Weight Watchers tomorrow, I will have gained weight.  It will confirm that my natural state of feeling satisfied by food means getting fatter and fatter.  So I am sad and discouraged and have basically given up…

 

Health, Writing

Map My Week – (Day 7)

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For today’s assignment, I’m supposed to map out my week to see where most of my time is spent.  Um…I think I already know that my time goes to work and sleep for the most part…not very exciting.

Monday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 3.5 hours David time (husband), .5 cleaning

Tuesday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 4 hours Charlotte time (granddaughter)

Wednesday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 3.5 hours David time (husband)/ writing some, .5 cleaning

Thursday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 1 hour driving, 1 hour Weight Watchers, 2 hours WriteHers’ Group

Friday – 9 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 3.5 hours David time (husband), .5 cleaning

Saturday – 8.5 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 4 hours friends and family time, .5 cleaning

Sunday – 8.5 hours work, 9 hours sleep, 1 hour hygiene, 1 hour food prep, 4 hours David time (husband)/ writing some, .5 cleaning

Totals – 62 hours work, 63 hours sleep, 7 hours hygiene, 7 hours food prep, 2.5 hours cleaning, 18.5 hours David time/writing some, 2 hours WriteHers’ Group, 4 hours friend and family time, 1 hour Weight Watchers, 1 hour driving

Yep…just as I thought.  I work too much and have no alone time.

 

Health, Writing

Receipt Memories – (Day 5)

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For today’s assignment, I was supposed to find a receipt and say what I can remember about the day I made the purchase.

My husband and I got in around 1 in the morning after driving home from his martial arts class 3 /12 hours away in Houston.  We were exhausted and probably fell asleep by 1:30 or 2:00am.  Suddenly, I was awakened by David fiddling with my phone around 3:45am.  Because my ringer was silenced, I didn’t know my daughter had been calling and texting for 30 minutes straight.  David woke up somehow and alerted me.

She was at the emergency room with heart palpitations brought on by unknown causes.  A friend of hers got her to the hospital and my grandmother kept the baby.  I sat in the room with her and her friend for a few hours talking, reassuring, and asking the doctors questions they couldn’t answer.

When it became apparent that it was going to be a few more hours before she would be released, the doctors were declaring all the major systems working fine, and her friend was planning to stay with her, I headed home to sleep some more.  I was exhausted and running on fumes.

My alarm was set for 9:30am because I had a 10:00am appointment to get my Depo shot.  From there I headed to my grandmother’s to check on my daughter and granddaughter.  On the way, my Mema asked if I could stop by Walgreens and pick up Lydia’s prescription for an anxiety med.  The doctors ruled her episode a panic attack brought on by anxiety.  Who knows if that is the real diagnosis.  My grandbaby Charlotte was in a great mood, running all over and entertaining everyone.   My sister and brother-in-law were there, too.  It was good fun.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing with my husband watching episodes of Community and Friends.  We made salmon for dinner and enjoyed a day off on a weekday.  It was President’s Day and my school was closed.  David’s company was shut down, too.  We had a lovely relaxing evening.  He painted.  I wrote.  Life was good.  It started scary and rough, but ended well.

I think one of my favorite moments was at 3 something am when my sweet husband offered to accompany me to the hospital.  He was even more tired than me after hours of martial arts, but offered to come with me.  I am a lucky, lucky woman.