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Tag Archives: inspiration
A Court of Frost and Starlight (ACOTAR Book Review 4)
WARNING – SPOILERS
A Court of Frost & Starlight, the 4th book in the ACOTAR series is a lovely, little, short novel wrapping up the last remaining threads of Feyre’s transformation. It focuses on her trying on her new role as High Lady and true partner to her love and delves into the parts of her that have been neglected because of war and survival. A key aspect is her art and desire to create, share her creativity, and understand creation as vital to her fulfillment.
It is a peak into homelife, an intimate Winter Solstice celebration, growth and blossoming of friendships, Mor’s self-realizations, and one of Feyre’s sisters suffering from emotional turmoil that gets totally out of hand. Interestingly, different voices begin to emerge. There are portions of the book from the perspectives of Rhysand, Cassian, Nesta, and Mor. The majority are in Feyre’s voice, but it is a nice change experiencing the inner thoughts of some of her loved ones.
This felt like a pause before a storm, a much-needed rest after the war and carnage of the 3rd book. I was disappointed that it was so short, as I wanted to learn more about all the members of the team & family. But book 4 is appropriately long, so I look forward to diving into that one immediately.
Maas, Sarah J. A Court of Frost and Starlight. Bloomsbury Publishing, 2018.
Reflections on The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston
TRIGGER WARNING: This essay discusses patriarchal oppression, gender-based violence and punishment, sexual shaming, social ostracism, and cultural trauma. These topics are examined in a literary and analytical context.
The Woman Warrior by Maxine Hong Kingston paints a picture of harsh expectations placed upon Chinese/Chinese American women. Though the narrator rejects some of the notions and attempts to forge her own path, she still feels duty-bound to uphold some of the traditions. Each section of the book focuses on a different woman and explores the expectations placed upon her specific to the time and place where that portion of the story is set.
For instance, No Name Woman lives in a village in China early in the 20th Century. She is expected to remain “pure” (no sex) until her husband’s return from war. Her sexual desires are not a consideration and her ensuing pregnancy is punished by shaming the family and destroying their crops, livestock, and stored foods. The family then disowns her and never speaks her name again, ensuring she would “suffer forever, even after death” (16). There is no mention of the man who must have impregnated her on the part of the villagers or her family. She must bear the full weight of the “crime” of having sex and becoming pregnant.
Fa-Mulan in the “White Tigers” section of the book becomes the greatest hero in the land saving her family, her village, and her country from evil rulers. She is a warrior, savior, and leader who has trained for 14 years to become the best hero possible. Yet, once her mission ends, she is expected to return to the “appropriate” role of wife, daughter-in-law, mother. There is no option for leadership in her world. This character is thought to have lived sometime around the year 500 in China. Women were not supposed to use their brains or their brawn, except in service to men. Any woman who attempted to pass as male enter the military or school would be executed, “no matter how bravely they fought or how high they scored on the examinations” (19).
The “Shaman” section about Brave Orchid shows the variety of domestic expectations placed on Chinese women. Brave Orchid lives the first half of her life in China and the second half in America spanning the 20th Century. She works as a medical practitioner in China and then in the family laundry business in America. Besides working long hours, she picks tomatoes as a part-time job to make more money, does all the cooking and cleaning, and manages all aspects of the household. She is also expected to carry on the traditions of the culture by keeping the rituals, ceremonies, and talk story alive so that it will pass on to the next generation. She must also protect everyone’s souls by calling them back when they have forgotten their way home. Brave Orchid’s eyes fill with tears as she tells her adult daughter, “I work so hard” (103). Chinese women are unrealistically expected to do more than their fair share of the work.
The section “At the Western Palace” highlights the way Chinese women in the past had little power in marital situations. Their partners were chosen for them and husbands might take multiple wives. The women were expected to tolerate and support these traditions without question. When Moon Orchid comes to America in the 1950’s, she is confronted by a different reality in which women have more rights and her husband rejects their marriage. She is expected to accept his continued financial support without living as his wife. Chinese American women seem to still have parents attempting to meddle with selecting their potential suitors according to the narrator.
In the final section “A Song For a Barbarian Reed Pipe” the narrator implies that a “good” Chinese American girl in America in the 1950’s should be able to speak fluent English and Chinese. She should attend Chinese school and American school. It is an interesting note that “good manners…is the same word as traditions” in Chinese (171). To please the Chinese, she should be obedient and demure, soft-spoken, and graceful, domestically competent – able to cook, clean, serve, and heal, and pleasant in interactions while not making eye contact, use opposites to confuse evil spirits, keep all Chinese traditions, send money to family members in China, lie to Americans so no one can trap her or deport her or trick her somehow, and remember that men are valued more highly than women. To please the Americans, she should be assertive and firm of voice, intelligent, sexy, able to defend herself, and independent making strong eye contact, speaking from a place of science and logic rather than any mention of evil spirits, creating a comfortable lifestyle that is America-focused, be a patriot, and believe that women and men are equal. A Chinese American woman is expected to do all of this and figure out how to be healthy, happy, and prosperous without driving herself crazy over the paradoxes such disparate expectations create.
Works Cited
Kingston, Maxine. The Woman Warrior – Memoirs of a Girlhood Among Ghosts. Vintage Books, New York, 1975.
Reflections on James Baldwin’s Appeal to the Possibility of Relationship
TRIGGER WARNING: This essay contains discussion of racism, racial violence, police brutality, and psychological trauma in a literary context.
Baldwin’s writings seem to assert that all people deserve the opportunity to be understood, and barring that, at least given a fair shake to make their way in the world. A self-proclaimed witness to the treatment of his people, he uses story to persuade others to open themselves to the possibility of relationship, or at least the ability to visualize the other. In “Previous Condition”, the main character is a black man having an affair with a white woman. She grew up in poverty and argues with him when he implies that only black people have it hard economically. The argument sounds as though it could have been heard on YouTube with its layers of race, class, gender, and privilege still such hot current issues. However, Ida the white woman, does not get kicked out of a dwelling simply because of the color of her skin, as is the case for the black actor she is debating. Even more horrible is the description in “Sonny’s Blues” of white men running over and murdering Sonny’s uncle just for the fun of it. Evil breeds hatred. Sonny’s father “never really did get right again. Till the day he died he weren’t sure but that every white man he saw was the man that killed his brother” (Going 118). These are examples of the ways in which people as individuals interact in his stories showing the depth of conflict created by race in relationships.
In “This Morning, This Evening, So Soon” Baldwin paints the scene of a black man who has forgotten how to play the game of pacifying the white police officers as is so often necessary to ensure minority safety. The main character says, “I had once known how to pitch my voice precisely between curtness and servility…” (Going 163). He’s been in France so long and interacted with white people under a different social contract for so long that he has forgotten the tricks he used to know to keep himself safe around white people with power who hate him. This speaks to the “armies” of whom Baldwin speaks. The police represent the powers that be and are an ever-present menace to the black characters in his books. In “Going to Meet the Man,” the main character is a white police officer who truly believes he is simply enforcing rules God himself established. He says it wasn’t his fault the black people “fight against God and go against the rules laid down in the Bible” (Baldwin Going 235). This is an example of the way church gets mixed up in all the oppression in people’s minds. All these systems interact to create menaces of themselves.
Yet, somehow, despite all the horrors Baldwin witnessed and wrote about, he continually returns to the theme of love. He seems to believe that love can prevail. I am in awe of his optimism. In “A Letter to My Nephew,” he writes, “love shall force our brothers to see themselves as they are, to cease fleeing from reality and begin to change it” (Baldwin Letter). I hope and pray that he is right.
Works Cited
Baldwin, James. “A Letter to My Nephew.” The Progressive. 1 Dec, 1962, progressive.org/magazine/letter-nephew/
Baldwin, James. Going to Meet the Man. Vintage International, 1948.
All in a Day’s Work: Teaching in a Psychiatric Center During COVID (Creative Nonfiction)
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Brief mentions of violence, abuse, self-harm, suicide, traumatic events, mental health disorders, death, explosive rage, murder, confinement in a residential treatment center, rape, addiction, human trafficking, and COVID.
Being spit at, called a variety of explicit names, and having items hurled their way are all in a day’s work for teachers at treatment centers for youths in crisis. Teachers join with classroom aids, mental health technicians, nurses, doctors, and therapists to manage the care of children in treatment centers all over the United States. Because the work involves minors whose identities must be protected and due to both HIPPA and FERPA regulations, little is known about the daily grind these teachers endure.
Many are called upon to work long hours in less-than ideal conditions including inadequate classrooms and minimal planning time, with little training related to the disorders with which their students suffer, and no more pay than typical school teachers in traditional school settings. Add to these struggles the current horrors of COVID-19, which include anxiety about catching the virus, extra work preparing lessons for both in-person and remote students, and the daily hustle to sanitize every possible surface to stop the spread of illness. These men and women on the front lines of educating some of the most dangerous, difficult, at-risk youth during a pandemic cannot be personally applauded due to the secret nature of their jobs. At least maybe a look into their world can create some appreciation for these unsung heroes.
One teacher, we’ll call her Ms. Sue, starts her day by heading into the main office to get her temperature checked. A fever means automatically being sent home and will require a negative COVID-19 test before returning. The forehead thermometer reads 96.7 (they read lower than the other kinds of thermometers), so she begins her daily duties cleaning her classroom, setting the thermostat to 72 degrees Fahrenheit (she says that temperature tends to please no one, but causes the least complaints and fights overall), making sure the toilet is working and sanitary supplies are stocked for female students in the bathroom available in her portable classroom, and checking emails to be sure nothing emergent needs managing prior to students arriving for class. 14 desks are arranged in neat rows spaced as far apart as possible to provide social distance. 6 new desktop computers are lined against a back wall, but only every other computer may be used due to the need for students to be spaced out. When asked about putting plexiglass between them so all of the computers can be used, Ms. Sue says she proposed that idea and shrugs her shoulders with a smile.
The floor is in need of sweeping; grass and mud has been tracked into the room and a decorative rug is littered with bits of paper and dirt. Ms. Sue mentions that she is out of time to vacuum as the kids will be arriving any second, and she will have to try to do it at lunch. When asked about janitorial staff, she replies that their only job is to take out the trash. Another shrug and smile are accompanied by an eye roll.
A boisterous group of teenage girls flood into the room ranging in age from 12 to 17. They look like any group of teenagers might, fashionably dressed, hair in messy buns or sticking out from under crocheted hats, backpacks full of books and school supplies, and cheerful greetings to their teacher. All of the girls seem to want to talk to Ms. Sue at once and she reminds them to come in and get settled before raising their hands to ask questions. The girls seem very well behaved for a treatment center and look as though they know the routines. Several are getting paper from a bin, one is passing out binders with first names only written on the sides (they explain that no last names are posted for confidentiality), and other than one skirmish over whose seat is whose, everyone sits in their assigned seat. All but one girl has her mask on, though several have let it slip down below their nose. Several mental health techs have accompanied the students into the classroom (it turns out that some of them identify as male, so though they look like a group of girls, they are referred to as class or students so as not to offend.) The techs talk with Ms. Sue in quiet voices, letting her know which students are struggling emotionally, have refused to come to school and remain at their dorms, who is at a doctor’s office, and point out one that is new and will need additional instructions in order to begin class. Apparently, students come and go depending on the course of their treatment, beds opening up, and insurance running out. Length of stay can vary from six weeks to six months. This group regularly has 15 or 16 students, though only 12 are present today.
One chosen student is leading a therapeutic group to start the day with each student explaining a treatment goal and how they are currently feeling. Ms. Sue listens and takes notes. It is not a requirement of her job, but she says it helps her work with the students the more she is aware of their treatment issues. The students are surprisingly insightful and seem to know the language of both goal-setting and recognizing a variety of feelings. The techs reveal that students present have issues ranging from attempted suicide, family problems, drug and alcohol addiction, eating disorders, and paranoia, to bipolar, depression, psychosis and personality disorders. Though each student has different problems or illnesses that they are working on, a positive peer culture is encouraged to support one another as they work their treatment.
Ms. Sue starts the day showing CNN 10 a daily 10-minute news segment created for schools that covers some of the big topics happening in the world. Most of the students look mesmerized and I find out that it is because this is the only outside information they get while in treatment. They do not have cell phones, internet access, or even television with commercials. The news does not shy away from the big headlines and several students are angered by what they consider to be a biased statement about President Trump. A minor argument breaks out, but is quickly squelched when they are reminded that they will not be allowed to watch tomorrow if they argue about politics.
When class officially begins, the pace is mind-blowing. Six grade levels are present in the room. A few of the grade levels are studying the same concept and can work together. Others have completely different lessons. Between a teacher and an aid, student questions and needs are being addressed for an hour straight. One girl throws her papers on the floor and storms into the restroom. Another puts her head down and starts to cry. The MHT’s jump into action and address the two having meltdowns while the teacher and aid continue putting out fires related to educational questions. The school principal walks into the room to do a walk-through observation in the middle of the mayhem. In some schools, teachers complain about having to put on an act for their observations. There does not appear to be a dog-and-pony show going on here. This is the reality of teaching in the trenches at a psych facility.
Clean up time is a whirlwind of activity. Every desk, chair, pencil, marker, keyboard, laptop, mouse, headphone set, stress ball, doorknob, and handle is wiped down with paper towels sprayed with industrial cleaner. Each kid helps with wiping down their area and is given some sort of reward ticket if they offer to do extra. The mood is almost festive and appears to be well-orchestrated. They all wave and laugh, chattering loudly as they exit, the weeping girl from the bathroom even bubbly once again. I expect a moment of calm to relax for a second before any more activity, but that is not the case.
Within seconds, another group of students enters the room. This group is also girls, but seems to be a smaller group. They are a bit more disheveled and do not talk as loudly nor as confidently as the previous group. They look more concerned about my presence and crowd around the teacher like little birds awaiting morsels of bread. Ms. Sue reminds them all of the routine which includes coming in quietly, getting supplies, and taking seats. I find out that this group has more neurological problems and some have seizures. Some of them have suffered brain damage and may have more educational needs due to difficulties with learning. Their staff seem more relaxed and playful than the previous MHT’s. I notice that a similar routine occurs with this group, but the pace is less frenetic. Everyone speaks a little more quietly and there are some delays in response from the students. A constant refrain is the reminder to keep face masks up over the nose. The kids let them slip down so they can breathe better. At one point, no one in the room (including Ms. Sue) has theirs on correctly. Granted, she is taking a drink of her coffee. All goes smoothly until one girl accuses another of cheating. Screaming ensues and the one who dealt the accusations must be led from the room and talked to outside. Her screams and obscenities can still be heard, but everyone seems strangely calm. I later am told that the screamer does that at least once per day over something. No one ever knows what will trigger her. Everyone has gotten used to ignoring her and going on about their business.
The same pattern repeats itself with different groups of children throughout the day. Ms. Sue teaches 7 classes in all with 2 hours off for lunch, planning, and meetings. She says she has an average of 4 meetings per week including working with her department, staff meetings with the entire school, ARD meetings for special education students, 504 meetings for students with special needs who do not qualify for special education, and meetings with the hospital staff to learn more about the medical side of the patients’ needs. I ask her which meetings are her favorite and she says meeting with the hospital staff. She loves learning about the kids’ home lives and how they are doing therapeutically. It helps her teach them to know some of their background and what they are working on outside of the classroom. When asked if it is difficult for her emotionally to hear some of the abuse and horrors these kids have endured, she shakes her head no. She says she has done this so long that nothing shocks her anymore. It is all simply information she can use to understand the kid better and do a better job reaching them in learning. I asked if the kids are aware that she knows their history, and she assures me that they are. The philosophy at their facility is a team approach and the kids know that everyone is a part of their treatment team, including the educators.
I ask her what kinds of cases used to shock her. Children whose parents were killed by serial killers and are now teenagers dealing with that reality. Children who are the product of rape or incest and are now teenagers dealing with that reality. Children who were kept in cages. Children who were raising themselves and their siblings at 10 years old and no one knew it. Children who took guns to school planning to kill as many people as they could. Children whose parents tried to kill them, but they survived – by throwing them out windows, running them over with cars, throwing them in the lake, or shooting them and leaving them for dead. Children with no parents at home because both are active military. Children kidnapped, then rescued. Children sold into slavery, escaped from dangerous countries, rescued from sex trafficking, found in dumpsters, found in deserts, found floating at sea. She started to laugh and it startled me.
“One of my favorites is children kicked out of countries because they are so bad that country won’t let them live there anymore.” She goes on to tell an insane story that sounds a bit like a plot to a Hangover movie, only the star is a teenage girl with way too much time, money, and imagination for one country she was invited to never return to. She was born in America, so that is where she got sent back to. Apparently, this happens on planet earth.
In the afternoon, Ms. Sue has a complicated moment with a young boy, 11 years old. He begins to scream at her that she is a liar. According to him, she has ruined his life and destroyed his faith in his father. He begins to call her horrible names that most certainly do not describe the kind woman I have spent the day with. He knocks over his desk, breaks his plastic binder in half, and wails an inhuman sound resonating from deep in his belly. He reminds me of a cornered, wounded animal, terror on his face like he is being assaulted. Ms. Sue is frozen in place. She has not moved since the start of the rant. I begin to wonder if she is unsure what to do. The boy is bigger than her and could most certainly hurt her if he attacks. Two other MHT’s have approached from the other side and are trying to convince him to take his concerns outside where they can talk about it more calmy, but he keeps pointing at her and screaming obscenities. He doesn’t seem to hear them at all. Spittle is flying and mixing with tears and snot. He declares her an unfit teacher who does not know how to work with children like him. He informs her in no uncertain terms that she needs to go get a different job or retire or something because she is terrible as a teacher. He is quite eloquent, even in the midst of his rage.
Ms. Sue later explains that this happens with him at least twice per week. They will be working just fine and then he explodes for no reason that she can ascertain. This time it was because she told him the colors of the rainbow. Thinking I misheard, I ask her to repeat herself.
Apparently, when she told him that two of the colors of the rainbow are indigo and violet, he lost it. He had never heard those words used in connection with the rainbow and therefore, she was a liar. Because his dad had told him the colors of the rainbow and not included those words, Ms. Sue was also calling the child’s dad a liar. All faith in humanity, parents, teachers, and life itself balanced on the tip of this knowledge and she had destroyed his world with the words indigo and violet. She rolls her eyes.
“It’s always something,” she says with a sigh.
I asked her why she just stood there and she says it seemed to be the best method for staying safe. Any sudden movements could be perceived by him as an attack. Staying still and calm, breathing deeply, willing a slower heartrate and not adding to the verbal stimulation are ways to de-escalate a neurological rage. When pushed further, she explains that some kids have seizure-like episodes that are set off by a strong emotion and they cannot control themselves well while it is happening. Often afterwards, they need sleep and have little memory of the incident, much the way other types of seizures effect people. My observation of the panic and terror on the boy’s face were real-time wild animal feelings he was experiencing. His perception was that everything around him was a threat. Ms. Sue chuckles and says that the boy got one thing right. She does not know how to work with children like him. I ask what she means and she shrugs.
“I just try different things every day until something works. Today it didn’t work.” She looks defeated, like this one shook her a little, even if she doesn’t admit it.
Ms. Sue has had to physically restrain children in the past, but not in a long time. She uses her words, calm demeanor, plenty of physical distance, and personal relationships with the children to create a safe environment. She says she stays over an arm’s length away at all times. She does not get down on their level like all the teaching manuals say she should. She does not touch them. She does not stare into their eyes when telling them to do something. She does not power struggle…ever. That is the worst possible thing you can do with children with conduct disorder. Physical space, emotional space, and even space in time…asking a question or giving an instruction, then waiting a few minutes if need be for a result are her tricks. Some of the children have slower processing speeds that cause a delay. Many other reasons can cause delays including depression, OCD, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, and ADHD. She says children want to do well. They just don’t always have the tools they need. She tries to give them tools. There is no dumb question. She repeats instructions 400 times if need be. She is a broken record. I have her instructions memorized and want to yell at the next kid who says, “What are we doing?” after she has already explained it in detail. She calmly begins to explain again. She says many of the students have ADHD or other issues that make focus difficult.
When asked which kids she enjoys working with the most, she says the really smart bad ones, the ones that annoy everyone else with their narcissistic or borderline tendencies. She says she can see right through them to the wounded child and has a heart for getting them to do their best work without all the bluster and nonsense. She says at their core they are terrified of life and reality and need someone to hold them accountable for doing their best work and not accepting their excuses.
The teacher next door prefers the boys like the one who threw his desk because of the rainbow colors. She absolutely loves the challenge of figuring out what structure will help them thrive. As they get more med stable during their stay at the hospital, she is able to streamline their educational experience so that they begin to experience true success in school, sometimes for the first time in a long time. The teachers say they help each other out sometimes with ideas for how to work with these very different kids. They also say they point out to each other when they might need to tag out and let someone else take a turn. Ms. Sue said she has never had to tag out, but probably should have once or twice. When pushed, she shrugs, but does not reveal more.
By the end of the day, I am exhausted. I don’t know how Ms. Sue is still on her feet. She seems to have the same smile, same energy, same cheerful tone in her voice for the last group as she did with the first. Luckily, the last group seems to be a really easy class. They are quiet, doing their work, and seem capable. They are older – juniors and seniors, one getting close to graduation. Ms. Sue whispers that they are not as sweet as they seem and are the type of kids that would plot to run away, get you to let down your guard, steal your keys, steal your car, wreck your car, get caught by the police, then throw you under the bus as the person who helped them escape. But they look so innocent.
When the day is over, Ms. Sue packs up a big stack of papers to grade at home. There is not enough time during the day to finish her grading. I am worried that my time with her might have caused this, but she laughs and assures me that she does her best grading in front of Hulu every night. She likes to take her time while grading and write personal notes and examples of things kids are doing well on each paper.
While cleaning up I decide to ask her specifically about COVID. She claims she is not afraid. She could die of an aneurysm right this second. She could die in a car wreck on the way home. Some of her students have died by suicide after leaving the treatment center. Death is a part of life. As our conversation about life and death and coping with 2020 continues I find myself sharing in her perspective. We’re doing our best to mask, social distance, clean, etc. What good is fear? Then I realize that she is using that same calm face, stillness, and quiet voice trick I witnessed with the rainbow boy. She’s good. She’s very good.
She’s been doing this for over 20 years and has no intention of stopping anytime soon. When asked why she does it, she says it is a job she fell into. There was an opening, it was close to home, and they provided a paycheck. She did not have special training beyond her teaching degree. Her training occurred on the job. They paid for her to get her special education and several other certifications, and she continues learning new areas of psychological training as she goes. She thinks anyone with patience could do this job. I beg to differ. When I point out that she is doing something amazing, she shrugs and says she would quit in a heartbeat if she won the lotto. I think she means it. She looks exhausted and walks slowly to her car.
Silent Romance (A Short Story)
Silence has become the standard by which I judge all things. People who talk too much or too loudly, chew food in a way that amplifies the crunch, have loud ringers on their phones, or wear hard soled shoes that clomp across the floor…well, let’s just say I don’t let them into my inner circle. So, when a mewling kitten showed up in the drainage ditch near my house, I was reluctant to take it in. The incessant screeching forced me to rescue it, if for no other reason than to try to stop the sound.
She needed to be bottle fed, not an easy feat for a person with no sense of time. I am a book scout and read all day for a living. I will sometimes read for six or seven hours straight if I’ve got enough material, only taking quick restroom breaks and snacking while I read. I set alarms for my alarms because I also sometimes fall asleep while I read, my brain giving out without notice. And they aren’t supposed to be held like human babies. They have to be on their bellies and knead something like they would on their mother’s teat. I look all of this up so I would do it right, including stimulating her anus with a wet cotton swab to imitate the attentions her mother would naturally provide.
Phoebe is an ugly kitten. Her face is squished, not in a cute way; what little hair she has is a non-descript greyish-brown. Her mother probably abandoned her because her front paws have something wrong with them. The four fingers and one thumb on each seem to be fused together and the paws twist inward slightly. Even worse, she’s loud. Her back paws seem fine.
My small rental is situated on a cul-de-sac near an elementary school. The plan is to advertise as close to the school as I can once Phoebe is old enough to wean. Children are suckers and their parents are even worse. A disabled kitty will have a home in no time. I just have to make it another month.
We’ve settled into a routine, Phoebe and I. She cries, I respond to stop the horrific noise with whatever I think she needs most right then, she falls asleep, and I get some work done. The longest stretch of silence we have achieved is 2 hours. In all honesty, it might have gone longer, but I got worried and jiggled her to make sure she was alive. She awoke with a vengeance and ate until her belly nearly burst.
It’s a ridiculously silly comparison, I know, but this experience has made me appreciate my mother more. When I was born, she had no one to help her and worked long hours to provide for us. My stepdad came into the picture when I was nine, but for years it was just us. All on her own, she kept me alive – the nighttime feedings and diaper changes, the cooking and cleaning. The woman deserves an award. I can’t wait until this kitten can eat solid food and I can find her a home. I’m worn out.
She likes to sleep in the hood of my hoodie and makes a great neck warmer. It gets chilly in the alcove where I like to work, looking out at a pecan tree growing in the neighbor’s yard. The branches hang down over the privacy fence that connects our back yards and pecans spill onto my property. I don’t mind at all because I take them all every year and make pecan pies for the holidays. This year I’m planning to make praline. Last year some of the pies went to waste because I have no one to share them with other than my parents.
I decide to take a walk to the mailbox at the end of my street with Phoebe curled up in my hood. Movement doesn’t seem to wake her, only hunger, but it is about time for a feeding and she has begun to wiggle and squeak. On the way back home, she begins climbing the cloth of her makeshift bed with her tiny claws and I fear she might fall out of my hood. In my haste to grab her I drop my mail rather dramatically. A man raking leaves in his yard stops mid-rake and waves; I pretend not to notice, busy with my mail. He doesn’t take the hint and assumes my lack of eye-contact requires a verbal interaction.
“Hey!” he says, tilting the rake he is holding away from himself and adjusting his baseball cap with his free hand. He could be on the cover of a men’s health or fitness magazine. His every movement draws my eyes, the unabashed grin demanding my attention. I stop, say hello, and even force a smile. He seems genuine in his attempt to be friendly, but as he starts to walk toward me a compulsion to bolt wells up. I squelch it because he is really cute.
“Can I see?” His hazel eyes light up and the corners crinkle the way I find sexy in men of that age. I am confused for a second, but then realize he is talking about Phoebe. He gathers all of my mail for me. I find gentlemanly manners quite sexy, as well.
“My turn,” he says, and offers a trade, the mail for the kitten. A wave of overprotective fear grips me. No one else can hold my baby kitten. He might not do it right. What if he drops her? I push back the irrational panic and gently place Phoebe in his big hand. She looks so vulnerable it makes me want to cry.
We chat amiably about kittens and how much work they are. He tells me he is new to the area, having moved here to be closer to his 11-year-old daughter and in a home where he can have her over every other weekend. I can see I may have found a home for Phoebe already.
I warm up a little and decide to offer some neighborly advice. “If you’ve never eaten at the Thai restaurant on Main, you have to check it out. Their lunch specials are really cheap and the food is authentic.”
“I love Thai,” he says. “How about tomorrow at noon?”
I smile and nod, then realize he is asking me to join him and I freeze. I guess I started it. I might have even sounded like I was angling for a date. “I wasn’t trying to ask you out,” I fumble. “I was just trying to tell you about some good places around here.”
“I know,” he says, the twinkle in his eye giving away amusement at my back peddling.
I decide to be brave. It’s just lunch.
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Styling my shoulder-length thick brown hair into some semblance of order proves impossible. A messy bun with a few loose curls hanging here and there will have to do. Phoebe is wiggling around in the bathroom sink where she was curled up in a hand towel sleeping only a moment ago. I imagine she can sense my excitement and is nervous about being left home alone. I begin to worry that this was a bad idea. What if she cries so hard that she stops breathing and dies? What if, in her panic, she escapes her box and gets trapped inside the couch and can’t be rescued? I almost cancel my lunch date, then scoop Phoebe into a snuggle, willing myself some of her spunky courage. She is my little good luck charm. She begins to scream because she’s learned that is what gets her a bottle. I sigh and roll my eyes, knowing her pathetic cries are fake.
“Little drama queen, I already fed you,” I tease before putting her into the box on the bathroom floor. I check my mascara in the mirror, take a deep breath, and head out. When I am almost to the front door, her cries intensify and I run back to the bathroom. I decide to set the box in the bathtub as an added safety measure.
***************************************
Phoebe stretches out between us, one paw across Mitchell’s forehead. Her intermittent purring blends with Mitchell’s rhythmic soft snore, but all I hear is silence. My sweet lover bought me custom molded shooting earplugs that hunters use to block out the loud sounds of weapons blasting next to ears.
I moved into his place because it made sense, but we brought most of my furniture because his consisted of bean bags and futons. His back yard has a wide oak that shades the patio and there is a pecan tree in the front. He loves to work outside and keeps the lawn pristine. I hate the sound of the lawn mower revving up, knowing I’ll have to put in my earplugs to get any of my own work done. I do occasionally miss the silence of my manless sanctuary, but then I take in the stunning view – not of the trees, of him muscling things into place along the fence or digging a hole for who-knows-what-reason men dig holes. And for the adorable way he clangs and bangs and slams tools around outside, then slips off his boots at the door and wears socks in the house so I don’t hear footfalls.
Things are a little more raucous when Mitchell’s daughter comes over for a weekend, but I’ve found I can tolerate joyful exuberance more than I realized. And it is worth it to see how happy it makes Mitchell when she’s sprawled on our couch watching movies with us while scrolling through her phone. They make fun of me by doing fake sign language and whispering dramatically when I’m in the room. When they are at work and school and I have the house to myself, I revel in the quiet – absolute peace for me to dig into my books.
I obviously never tried to find Phoebe another home. After a few months of never leaving my side, I couldn’t bear to part with her. She nestled her way right into my heart. And the only time she puts up a fuss is when I am taking too long to feed her and she thinks I deserve a scolding. She walks just fine, though her paws curve in, so she looks a little like she’s walking on the wrists of her front legs. She doesn’t climb well, but can jump really high because her back legs are quite powerful. She rarely needs help doing anything. She likes to curl up on my lap, and every once in a while, when I’ve had my fill of silence, I’ll take out my ear plugs and listen to her purr while I read.
Potential Novel Planning: The Dark Side of Yuma
Story Structure:
The Dark Side of Yuma is a young adult fantasy romance novel that will be written in chapters. Each chapter will be written in the third-person limited perspective from the point of view of different characters. For instance, I imagine the opening chapter as being told through the eyes of Ibeji, a traveler in the desert who proclaims that his kingdom extends as far as the eye can see just before he passes out on his camel-like creature from dehydration and exposure to the two suns in the sky. This will actually be a flash-forward. The second chapter will begin in medias res with a young prince Olorun learning of the death of his father the king, mother, sister, and a number of palace staff to a virulent illness.
The death of Olorun’s father is the inciting incident that leads to his crowning, expectation of marriage, and beginning his rule. His one remaining younger brother Kwento survived the sickness and is raised in Olorun’s household. The intricacies of the patriarchal society unfold alongside his first love affair with his young wife as the new king learns to rule. Interesting laws of note include a merit-based society that can only be circumvented by redemption (i.e. wealth), failing to prove oneself results in slavery, and each country must send resources including choice slaves yearly to the service of the religious structure and/or royal family. Interesting customs of note include a living wage for all citizens, freedom of religion and culture (as long as basic laws are met), and clear dark skin bias that is apparent in all transactions. Women prove merit by giving birth to a child and men prove merit by advancing any field as judged by a panel of elders. Olorun’s first wife is unable to bear children, so Olorun begins a quest for a wife who can birth an heir. Daughters do not count, so Olorun ends up with six wives before twin sons are born (an heir and a spare.) The saga of finding wives will be its own storyline that shows the perspective of several different women and slaves in the household.
The inciting incident that leads to the second act will be Ibeji’s birth as told through the eyes of the midwife Abeabah. He is actually the firstborn, but has obvious skin pigmentation issues, so the midwife switches him with his brother and declares Imana firstborn. The same night of the heir’s birth, the king’s brother Kwento and all his family are killed in a house fire. Ibeji must struggle from early on to overcome judgement for his skin issues (a condition like Vitiligo) and being the second-born always runner-up to his brother in his parents’ eyes. He excels in every way and overcomes numerous obstacles on his path to proving himself including earning his manhood by finding the lost crown of Olokun, the goddess of the sea. Several chapters will be written from the perspective of Ibeji’s main slave, other siblings in the royal family including Odafin (a brother from another mother), and Ala the first wife who was never able to give the king a child. The decision of Olorun to retire and crown Imana king creates a conflict for Ibeji. He must decide what he wants to do with his life. In the midst of all the coronation activities he foils a plot by a radical organization to kill the heir by posing as his brother. His reward from his father is anything he asks for. Ibeji asks to rule some part of their world, to help his brother. King Olorun says that cannot be done. The whole world from the mountains to the sea are ruled by one king. So Ibeji asks to rule whatever is beyond the mountains and the sea. The king consents, believing such a quest to be a death sentence for his son.
Ibeji and his crew set out for beyond the mountains and the sea in act three of the narrative and experience more adventures like shipwreck, cannibals, mountain creatures that steal sight, and an endless desert that drives people insane. The story circles back to the opening scene with Ibeji unconscious, alone in the desert, near death. This chapter is from the perspective of a military woman on patrol who finds him and checks for a pulse. She puts a piece of plant between his bottom lip and teeth, then drags him on a stretcher to a camp. Her thoughts flash back to a memory of finding another man in the desert with a similar tattoo some 20 years past. He pleaded for his wife and children to be saved, but they were all dead by the time they were found. This soldier vowed then and there to search harder and faster as soon as one was found and since then had saved over 88 people from the desert. She went on to fall in love with the man she found and he became her beloved. Flitting moments of consciousness through the eyes of Ibeji reveal that some of his party have also been rescued and the camp they have been brought to is a lush oasis with beautiful women, plenty of resources, and a completely different society than they have ever seen. It is a matriarchal system with women running everything and men being seen as less-than. He is introduced to his uncle Kwento that he had only heard stories of. He is told the truth about his family’s fate, that all are killed with the death of the king or the birth of the next heir. By way of resolution, he and his crew are welcomed into the oasis society as long as they are willing to follow the rules and make themselves useful. The strangeness of this new society is barely introduced by the end of the novel, but enough to pique the interest in another novel to come about The Bright Side of Yuma.
Character Objective:
Ibeji desires to prove his worth and compensate for his mottled skin coloring. Ultimately, he wants to rule a kingdom.
Scene Breakdown:
Ch. 1 – Ibeji perspective – Ibeji is on a camel-like creature the size of a giraffe with zebra stripes the color of sand. He is barely conscious and fading. There is dessert as far as the eye can see. He passes out and falls from the giant creature. The creature keeps walking.
Ch. 2 – Olorun perspective – The 15-year-old young man is told that his family is dead except for him and his younger brother Kwento. He will now be crowned king, must marry quickly, and begin his reign.
Ch. 3 – Ala perspective – This young 15-year-old girl falls in love immediately with King Olorun. Their romance is sweet and tender. After an exciting pregnancy, their first son is stillborn. They both grieve, but comfort one another and will keep trying.
Ch. 4 – Sulola perspective – She is chosen as a 2nd wife for Olorun because Queen Ala continues to have miscarriages. Sulola is ordered to give her firstborn child to Queen Ala when it is born; but begin by showing life in her country…peaceful and pleasant, happy family, but she is too beautiful…chosen as the girl to be given to the higher purpose (doesn’t know until she gets to the island that she will be a queen)
Ch. 5-7 – Kwento perspective – tell of Sulola’s daughter, proves self, falls in love with Sulola, gets her pregnant, king marries again and gets wife pregnant, Sulola has not been with the king in a long time so they hatch a plan for her to petition the king to give her a child, go in to the king and get him really drunk, tell him afterward that they had sex, Kwento gets married, son, Sulola has her own daughter (by Kwento), Obba 3rd wife also has daughter
Ch. 8 –Lulu Isoken’s mother – tells of her daughter being taken 4th wife, gives birth to twin daughters
Ch. 9 – Mobo perspective – Proves self, name changed to Ogun. Chosen as the gift from a country to go to the island because he was the best swordsman. Fine with it because he only wanted to serve. 14 when he proved himself and was chosen. Leaves family behind.
Ch. 10 – Maha 5th wife’s servant perspective – 5th wife, pregnant with son (she believes), did not have a baby within a year, so Olorun took a 6th wife, race to give birth, took herbs to try to have her son come out first
Ch. 11 – Sulola perspective – 2nd wife gets pregnant by Kwento again; tells Kwento she will go with him; then at the last minute goes to the King to be with him to ensure the baby is seen as a prince or princess; does not go with Kwento
Ch. 12 – Abeabah (Midwife) perspective – 6th wife having twins, switches babies at birth (hints of Ogun possibly seeing the switch); 5th wife also gives birth to baby shortly after the twins; news of Kwento and his family fleeing
Ch. 13 – Odafin perspective – best friends with Ibeji and Imana; adventures and scuffles at 9; oldest of 6 brothers; in line for the throne if the twins die; determined to keep them alive because he does not want to be a king. That looks super boring. The twins get a new brother.
Ch. 14 – Ibeji perspective – He decides to prove himself on the greatest quest ever! He wants to find the lost crown of Olokun, the goddess of the sea.
Ch. 15 – Ogun perspective – Tells of the quest. Sailing, battling sea monsters, the treacherous storms of the southern seas, reaching the black snows of the south, finding the cave where the crown has been hidden for thousands of years, and Ibeji retrieving the crown.
Ch. 16 – Ibeji perspective – The long trip home is easier now that they know how to avoid the pitfalls, the arrival home, meeting his new baby sister, and presenting the crown to king. He has proven himself and is now a man. (So has Odafin.)
Ch. 17 – Sulola perspective – She is having secret meetings with her birth daughter that was given to the first wife and their grandchildren because it makes Ala jealous when she sees them together.
Ch. 18 – Ibeji perspective – He goes along with Imana for him to prove himself on a journey to kill the three-horned beast of the eastern jungles. Multiple near death experiences bring them closer together, but Ibeji also starts to worry about Imana’s ruthlessness.
Ch. 19 – Zane (Sulola & Kwento son) perspective – A tournament of champions takes place in the capital of Szansila. Zane wins the bow and arrow competition (proving himself); His brothers win many prizes, too. Imana wins the curved sword competition, but kills his competitor rather than sparing him. Ibeji does not agree with his choice. Ibeji wins the overall competition.
Ch. 20 – Imana perspective – A battle with uprisers has been building. Now that he and Ibeji are 18, they will accompany their father to the lands where some of the troops are fighting. The rebels want the royal family destroyed, their own children not taken as slaves, women to have more equality, and relax the achievement requirements.
Ch. 21 – Ibeji perspective – Rebel woman captured and tells Ibeji tales of a world beyond the mountains where women rule and men are slaves. She is put to death, but before she dies she tells Ibeji his whole family will be dead soon anyway, so there is no point to all that he is doing. Ibeji keeps pondering what she is talking about and decides she was issuing idle threats.
Ch. 22 – Olorun perspective – The battle must be won because the entire economic system depends on unity. He confers with Imana and they decide to slay all who are related to the rebels. I beji does not agree, but his wishes are not taken into consideration.
Ch. 23 – Ibeji perspective – Everyone is put to death whose men partook in the uprising. They squash the 11 countries that have banded together. They spare the young women as spoils of war to be concubines. Ibeji lets a household live while they are going door to door killing families. His brother comes along behind him and kills them. Ibeji is furious and confronts his brother afterward. Imana demands his obedience as he is his future king. Ibeji stands down.
Ch. 24 – Maha perspective – Imana is preparing to take over the throne and getting married. There is pressure on Ibeji to get married, as well and women are constantly being paraded in front of him as possible wives. Ibeji discovers the plot to kill and Ibeji decides to save him, though he tempted to let him die. Ibeji saves Imana.
Ch. 25 – Ibeji is offered whatever he likes for saving his brother and he asks for land to rule. His father grants him the land beyond the mountains and the seas. He starts planning; the king gives him a sword; Ibeji says his goodbyes.
Ch. 26 – Zane (Kwento’s son) perspective – He sneaks onto the ship as a stowaway; they head off with excitement; he steals food and hides behind a panel below deck. He sneaks around at night and falls in love with the whole adventure. He is eventually discovered below deck, but they are too far from home to turn around. They will send him back at the next port. Instead, his protector catches up by boat with the message from his mother that he may stay on in the journey if Ibeji will have him. She is not happy, but will let him be a man.
Ch. 27 – Ogun perspective – Land in port town and buy supplies to make it to the mountains; carts and horses, food and drinks. Ogun thinks this is a suicide mission but is with Ibeji to the end. It turns out he likes men…finds a brothel…
Ch. 28 – Odafin perspective – Gnome men are more dangerous than they appear. They must find a way to convince these mighty tiny warriors that they respect them in order to receive their help. Once accomplished by battling them like men, they are able to purchase the mountain equipment they need. They must weather mountain climbing in freezing cold temperatures. They are bundled up in furs, but some die on the mountain, including Ogun who cuts his own line to save Ibeji.
Ch. 29 – Kali (Woman servant) perspective – They make it to base camp on other side of mountain. She asks if they can just stay there. They purchase camel-type creatures, water flasks, linen garments and scarves that keep the sun from burning the skin. They start out in the rocky terrain, move on to grasslands that still have some pools of water, but it slowly turns to dry ground with cracks and eventually becomes sand as far as the eye can see; Bandits attack and kill a few and steal some camels and supplies.
Ch. 30 – Katsu (Military Woman) perspective – She is on patrol and finds Ibeji in the sand alive but unconscious.
Ch. 31 – Ibeji perspective – He wakes up at an oasis camp and is introduced to his Uncle Kwento; he learns of this matriarchal system that he must agree to comply with if he wants to live…then he may stay. He decides for his entire group that they will comply and all agree.
Ch. 32 – Maowai (Religious leader) perspective – She speaks to the congregation and says that danger has entered their realm. These are men from another world who claim to have power over women. “When some have come before, we have had to kill them, castrate them, imprison them, and blind them to keep them from hurting us. Nothing good comes from welcoming in this many men. The stars are speaking to me and it is not good.” It is revealed that one of Ibeji’s men has raped a girl, so he is put to death. Ibeji does not intervene because he has agreed to follow their customs.
Ch. 33 – Zane (Kwento’s son) perspective – Kwento realizes the boy is his and begins to ask him about his family. Kwento finds out Zane’s sister is alive and is surprised when Kwento begins crying. He takes Zane under his wing and teaches him the ways of the women’s world.
Ch. 34 – Ibeji perspective – He thanks the women for their kindness, but tells them he must move on because he must find a land he can rule. The women laugh at him because men don’t rule. Some of his group decide to stay with the oasis women, but the rest head off and are given their weapons back because they have earned trust. Maowai stares in disbelief and shakes her head cursing as they leave.
Significant Story Points:
- The exposition could be considered chapters 2 through 11 since the character of interest is Ibeji and he is born in chapter 12. It will give the background, customs, history, and family lines of Ibeji to make his entire saga make sense. This is intended to be a 3-book series, so it makes sense to have quite a bit of background.
- The climax is the collapse of Ibeji when he seems to fall to his death in the desert.
- The falling action is Ibeji waking up in the oasis camp and learning the fate of his crew and the strange world he has found.
- The denouement is Kwento’s discovery that Zane is his son.
- The resolution is Ibeji’s willingness to learn the ways of the women, but still wanting to travel on to find the place he can rule.
- Tension and resolution:
- There are multiple points of tension between Ibeji and his brother as they are finding that they would rule in different manners.
- There is tension as King Olorun marries woman after woman in hopes of the birth of a son and his plans are constantly thwarted. There is finally resolution when three boys are born on the same day.
- Tension occurs between the 2 mothers of Ada and is only resolved by secrecy.
- Tension exists between the families losing their children to the ruling class and religion. It will lead to conflict in the form of rebellion and war.
- Tension occurs when Kwento runs away and asks Sulola to come with him. She must decide whether to stay in safety or go with her true love. The resolution is heartbreaking when she decides to remain.
- Tension occurs in the scene with the rapist who cries out for Ibeji to save him from the death penalty, but Ibeji honors his commitment to the women of the community.
- Conflict of Characters:
- The main conflict is within Ibeji as he is deciding what he wants to do with his life since he cannot be the ruler of the land.
- He must also deal with the conflicting ways in which society judges his skin condition, though he is in a position of privilege by birth.
- He also has conflict with Imana because he does not agree with the way he wields his power.
- The wives have conflict amongst themselves.
- There is war that is literal conflict. It is also ideological because the rebels are wanting to change key human rights laws and make the world a safer place for all people, including women.
- When Ibeji makes it to the world beyond the mountains and the sea, his entire world view conflicts with a matriarchal society.
- Impact of Conflict:
- Ibeji is forced to look at the reality of his father’s rule and his brother’s intentions as ruler. He is able to formulate the possibility of a different way of governing.
- Ibeji begins to question the skin-biased culture in which he lives and begins to reconcile power and humility within himself.
- Ibeji is still struggling by the end with the conflict that the Queens create. He does not know the answer, but has begun to believe that his father’s way is not the best.
- He fights in the war, but begins to question his beliefs when confronted with valid arguments of the human rights abuses committed so that he can continue his way of life.
- His mind is blown and he is still reeling at the end of the novel from the matriarchal society he has found. It is hinted that he assumes this is a strange little microcosm he has found and more than likely will be able to carve out his own kingdom elsewhere, which implies he still has more to learn in the next novel.
Setting Details – Place and Time:
This story takes place on Yuma, a planet in the galaxy Tamashi Hoikuen. Yuma is part of a binary solar system with five planets total. The orbit of Yuma around the two stars is widely elliptical creating 10-hour cycles of light and dark. Yuma has two moons, Chikara who orbits Yuma, and a moon’s moon Iwa who orbits Chikara. At any given moment, there may be two daystars and two moons in the sky, or none at all. Stars from their own galaxy and beyond are always visible when it is dark.
Only the eastern hemisphere of the planet will receive much attention in this first novel because it is telling the story of the dark side of Yuma. The main character Ibeji will traverse his known-world on adventures proving himself on missions of greatness. The known-planet holds a wide variety of climates (mostly inhabitable) with countries varying in culture, language, diversity of appearance, clothing, and traditions. Ibeji is from Oba Island and grew up in a mild climate with very short winters and very long summers in which to surf and enjoy adventures on and around the pristine beaches. His immediate siblings and his mother have their own castle on the island with a connecting mote to the main palace. Their mother can close the drawbridge at will and post her own guards if she needs to feel more secure. In technological advancement, an equivalent era to Earth might be the 16th Century, though advancements in astronomy are limited due to severe religious restrictions. The printing press exists and the entire hemisphere uses a common written language and sign language, though many others exist, as well.
I chose Yuma because I wanted to create a world from scratch that was half dark, half bright like the yin yang symbol. The dark side is a patriarchal society and the bright side is a matriarchal society. I want there to be strengths and weaknesses to both sides that can only be balanced when they decide to help one another.
Time and Profluence:
Each chapter will tell the narrator, legal and illegal dates in history to help keep track of the constantly changing perspectives and the timeline. For example, the first chapter title will include Prince Ibeji’s name, Year 1 King Imana’s reign, Year 10,021 Forbidden Calendar. The second chapter will go back in time to Prince Olorun, end of King Oyelowo’s reign, Year 9,984 Forbidden Calendar. For profluence, my intention is to using active verbs that indicate activity implying passage of time. In travels I will show people having to cover their eyes with masks to sleep even though it is light outside because it the time of sleep. Meals will be served, chores completed, plans hatched and carried out. The pace of the story should pull the reader to the end of the chapter and make them want to keep reading on to the next.
Story Development:
My main character will need to be born in a privileged setting to survive his skin condition in a society that values darker skin. Yet, it is also his position that will give him the training and power to possibly do something to help others in similar situations to his own someday. A hemisphere hemmed in by tall mountain ranges and seemingly impassable oceans, capped by deadly black snows, and no one with the desire to adventure beyond creates the perfect setting for someone who feels they have nothing to lose and everything to gain by proving themselves so dramatically. Ibeji is convinced land exists if he can overcome the obstacles and has the resources to attempt the journey. Only then can he find a world that is in some ways the flip side of his own and come to terms with the belief systems he has based his entire worldview on.
Archetypes:
- Light v. Darkness – though I hope to flip this one a bit, with strengths and weaknesses existing within both lands. The bright side will have desserts, white sand beaches, and paler waters due to the currents on the planet.
- The Threshold – Each challenge will essentially grant Ibeji entrance to another phase of his journey.
- Innate Wisdom v. Educated Stupidity – Some things the servants are capable of will save Ibeji, surprising him (though I wouldn’t call him stupid and hope to live.)
- Heaven v. Wilderness – Short stays in safe places will be welcomed rest and recuperation before venturing out on dangerous quests as part of the overall journey.
- Water v. Desert – The story begins with Ibeji dying of thirst, and ends with him being rescued and taken to an oasis. Water will save him (and a strong woman carrying the water.)
These archetypes fit with the characters and journey undertaken to get Ibeji from one world to another and make him a better man because of it. It will still take another novel to make him fit to rule, but he will be on the right track.
Character Sketches:
Prince Ibeji Character Sketch
Prince Ibeji is the twin spare heir to the throne with a skin condition similar to vitiligo in a society that is positively biased toward darker skin. At the start of the novel he is 20 years old, 6 foot 5 inches tall, and his muscled frame is dressed in the remnants of a white turban and linen desert clothing to protect from the sun. The left half of his face is a deep ebony, but the other half is mottled with pale splotches. When the turban slips from his head, his thick dreadlocks fall halfway down his back, half stark white, half black. Ibeji’s posture belies training in formal etiquette, the lift of his chin and no fear of direct eye contact are indicative of royal blood. His insistence that people look at his face rather than away from him shows the internal struggle he continues to fight to overcome the prejudice and personal embarrassment at being so marked. He overcompensates with extreme achievement and is the best at a number of sporting events including surfing, fighting with the dagger, several instruments he has chosen to master, and one branch of mathematics that he took an interest in. He is fiercely loyal to his family and loves his baby sister (who is 6 at this point) more than anything on earth. He feels the need to continually prove himself to his father King Olorun and is willing to risk his life to find a kingdom to rule even if it means traveling beyond the known boundaries of his planet.
Character Profile
Basic Statistics
Name: Prince Ibeji son of King Olorun and Queen Jol
Age: 20 at start of novel, then goes back in time to his birth
Nationality: the royal family does not maintain a nationality as they rule the entire world
Socioeconomic Level as a child: wealthy
Socioeconomic Level as an adult: at the start of the novel, he is moderately wealthy for his world, but extremely wealthy for the new world he has “discovered”
Hometown: Oba Island
Current Residence: homeless wanderer roaming the desert on camel-back
Occupation: Prince; N/A
Income: money has never been an issue for him because he was born into royalty and is given all he needs or wants
Talents/Skills: dagger fighting, sports in general and specifically surfing, mathematics, several instruments
Salary: N/A
Birth order: 1st born, but he thinks he is the 2nd born twin
Siblings (describe relationship): twin brother Imana, close but competitive and begin to have different ideas about ruling that start to drive a wedge between them ; half-brother Odafin, very close – probably his best friend besides his twin; 11 year old full brother, 17 year old full sister, 6 year old full sister (that he adores); 7 half-sisters, 8 other half-brothers, 2 cousins that he thinks are half-siblings, but are actually fathered by his Uncle Kwento
Spouse (describe relationship): N/A
Children (describe relationship): N/A
Grandparents (describe relationship): deceased
Grandchildren (describe relationship): N/A
Significant Others (describe relationship): N/A
Relationship skills: suspicious of authentic kindness as he assumes everyone is judging his vitiligo or is only being polite out of obligation to his rank
Physical Characteristics
Height: 6 foot 5 inches
Weight: 230 pounds
Race: Oba race (black skin)
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: half black, half white
Glasses or contact lenses? N/A
Skin color: black with vitiligo, left half of face black, other half mottled with pale splotches
Shape of Face: chiseled, strong jaw
Distinguishing features: vitiligo, thick dreadlocks that fall halfway down his back, half stark white, half black
How does he/she dress? Royal garb, but at start of novel in white turban and linen desert clothing
Mannerisms: fiddles with his dagger, posture belies training in formal etiquette, the lift of his chin and no fear of direct eye contact are indicative of royal blood
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) a bit of a womanizer
Health: strong and healthy – in the prime of life
Hobbies: developing new talents that strike his fancy, pulling pranks on schoolmasters and religious clerics
Favorite Sayings: Words mean nothing; Are you trying to die today?
Speech patterns: formal diction due to training in royal language
Disabilities: N/A
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): finest quality clothing available on the planet, can’t look shabby even when he tries
Greatest flaw: overcompensates for his vitiligo and being the spare heir with accomplishments; distrustful of kindness in others because he thinks they are only doing so out of obligation and are really judging him silently for his skin
Best quality: loyalty, perseverance
Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes: extremely intelligent in an analytical way; closed-minded about the views he has grown up with until some experiences along the way in his adventure to the other side of the world opens his horizons a bit; cocky; thinks he’s the gods gift to women (except for the whole skin thing)
Educational Background: full education that is offered to the royals
Intelligence Level: super smart
Any Mental Illnesses? N/A
Learning Experiences: hands on learner; his adventures teach him even more than the classroom; but also digs into his studies
Character’s short-term goals in life: achieve every possible goal he sets to prove himself to his father the king
Character’s long-term goals in life: rule a kingdom of his own
How does Character see himself/herself? Capable, just needs to be given a chance to ultimately prove himself
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Less-than because of his vitiligo, but he also knows he has earned respect due to his achievements
How self-confident is the character? Extremely self-confident in his abilities, lacking in some self-esteem because of his vitiligo
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Logic, with an undercurrent of emotion
What would most embarrass this character? Admitting failure
Emotional Characteristics
Strengths: compassionate, fair, loyal Weaknesses: easily angered, holds grudges, self-conscious about his vitiligo
Introvert or Extrovert? Ambivert – loves to be the life of the party, but it drains him and then needs time to recuperate alone
How does the character deal with anger? Snaps, then has to apologize
With sadness? Does not admit sadness to himself, buries it
With conflict? Addresses it head on
With change? Very adaptable
With loss? Has not really experienced much loss and doesn’t like to think about it
What does the character want out of life? To prove himself to his father and rule a kingdom – ultimately to prove that he would be a good leader
What would the character like to change in his/her life? Find a cure for his vitiligo, become a ruler, not let his vitiligo bother him
What motivates this character? Achievement, proving himself to others to overcompensate for his vitiligo
What frightens this character? failure
What makes this character happy? Spending time with his baby sister (6 years old at the start of the novel), surfing/being out in nature on the island, family
Is the character judgmental of others? He is judgmental of laziness or lack of achievement
Is the character generous or stingy? He is generous, but he has not really earned any of the items or goods he shares with others
Is the character generally polite or rude? polite
Spiritual Characteristics: He is spiritual and follows the religious customs of the royal family; he is not above being a little sacrilegious for a laugh, though
Does the character believe in God? yes
What are the character’s spiritual beliefs? The gods determined the patriarchal order of the world, as well as the royal order of his family and the way each country is to contribute to the monarchy
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character’s life? both
If so, what role does it play? It is a very important part and will ultimately be a crisis for him when he finds another world with other religious beliefs
How the Character is Involved in the Story: he will end up being the main focus by the end of the novel
Character’s role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): hero
Scene where character first appears: opening scene
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: he has been humbled, thrown into a completely different world than he expected, but still determined to reach his goals and undaunted by the obstacles ahead of him
Prince Kwento Character Sketch
Prince Kwento is the only brother of King Olorun, the uncle of Prince Ibeji. He disappeared the night of Prince Ibeji’s birth, though he has quite the interesting backstory. He was orphaned at age 11 and grew up under the rule of his brother being schooled by the prophets, clergy, and educational system on the royal island. He grew to be a sturdy figure 6 feet tall with brown skin the color of dark caramel. He wears the traditional dreadlocks, though he keeps them a more manageable length since he does not think he will ever rule. He is skilled in painting and poetry, though he is also an expert longbow marksman. Kwento is romantically inclined, his head in the clouds at times about falling in love and finds himself smitten with a beautiful girl who turns out to be his brother’s betrothed. (She will be the 2nd wife.) Kwento tends to question the ways of tradition much more than most and it gets him into trouble often. Kwento yearns for freedom from the old ways and rigid structure of palace life.
Character Profile
Basic Statistics
Name: Prince Kwento son of King Oyelowo and Queen Fadekemi
Age: he is 11 when he is first seen in the novel; when he is reintroduced at the end he is 47
Nationality: the royal family does not maintain a nationality as they rule the entire world
Socioeconomic Level as a child: wealthy
Socioeconomic Level as an adult: at the start of the novel he is one of the wealthiest people in his world, when he is reintroduced, he is poor
Hometown: Oba Island at the start; reintroduced at an oasis camp
Current Residence: Oba Island
Occupation: Prince; N/A
Income: money has never been an issue for him because he was born into royalty and is given all he needs or wants; he will learn to work to survive by the end
Talents/Skills: painting, poetry, expert longbow marksman
Salary: N/A
Birth order: 2nd born son spare heir, 3rd born child
Siblings (describe relationship): King Olorun – some animosity because his brother became an authority figure over him when their parents died, though just the day before they had been scuffling in the courtyard; 2 sisters – one older, 1 younger – both died when his parents did
Spouse (describe relationship): Eriayomi – cordial, but not a relationship of passion; becomes all about the children; was in love with his brother’s 2nd wife Sulola and that was a relationship of passion
Children (describe relationship): from Eriayomi – son 7, daughter 4, son 1 (all killed around those ages); from Sulola – Adana daughter 27, Zane son 19 (they do not know he is their father)
Grandparents (describe relationship): deceased
Grandchildren (describe relationship): has 3 grandchildren that he does not know about because he fled the country; he will find out about them when he reconnects with Zane at the end of the novel
Significant Others (describe relationship): he is now in a strong relationship with Katsu, a military woman who patrols the deserts in the world “discovered” beyond the mountains and the sea
Relationship skills: super romantic, girls fall for him easily, easy to talk to, kind
Physical Characteristics
Height: 6 foot
Weight: 195 pounds
Race: Oba race (black skin)
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: black
Glasses or contact lenses? N/A
Skin color: black (brown the color of dark caramel)
Shape of Face: square, strong jaw
Distinguishing features: caramel skin color and dreamy brown eyes
How does he/she dress? Royal garb and kind of likes pretty things, but at end of novel he looks rugged, windswept, and a bit tattered; clothing is more about necessity than appearance
Mannerisms: daydreams, stares off into space formulating poems and picturing how he would paint whatever he is looking at
Habits: (smoking, drinking etc.) falls in love too easily
Health: strong and healthy
Hobbies: painting, writing poetry
Favorite Sayings: Quotes of the great poets of old like “Fire licks water to create love steam”
Speech patterns: poetic, rambles a bit if given the chance
Disabilities: N/A
Style (Elegant, shabby etc.): likes elegant dress at the first, but not by the end
Greatest flaw: easily angered
Best quality: protective
Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes: creative, extremely intelligent verbally; open-minded about the views he has grown up with and the possibility that other ways might be valid; loves women;
Educational Background: full education that is offered to the royals
Intelligence Level: smart
Any Mental Illnesses? Some depression
Learning Experiences: reader, gets all of his information from books
Character’s short-term goals in life: love women and create art
Character’s long-term goals in life: survive
How does Character see himself/herself? As a survivor
How does Character believe he/she is perceived by others? Less-than because he is the spare heir; expendable
How self-confident is the character? self-confident in his appearance and verbal abilities, lacking in some self-worth because he is the spare heir
Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof? Entirely by emotion
What would most embarrass this character? Being unable to perform sexually
Emotional Characteristics
Strengths: romantic, gentle, caring
Weaknesses: easily angered, lets his romantic urges take over instead of thinking things through
Introvert or Extrovert? Introvert – enjoys one on one conversations, but prefers to be alone reding and painting
How does the character deal with anger? Snaps, then has to apologize
With sadness? Struggles, cries, lingers over the sadness
With conflict? Tends to avoid
With change? Struggles with change, wants things to stay the same
With loss? Struggles, has never gotten over losing his parents, sisters, then eventually his wife and children. His whole life is characterized by loss, but he doesn’t know how to manage it.
What does the character want out of life? Peace and safety
What would the character like to change in his/her life? He would love to have a relationship with his children
What motivates this character? Love
What frightens this character? Fear that he won’t be able to protect his family
What makes this character happy? Being in love, being with his children, art, poetry
Is the character judgmental of others? somewhat
Is the character generous or stingy? He is generous, but he has not really earned any of the items or goods he shares with others; at the end he is generous with his lack and that is more telling
Is the character generally polite or rude? polite
Spiritual Characteristics: He is spiritual and follows the religious customs of the royal family, though he questions often and does not agree with everything
Does the character believe in God? yes
What are the character’s spiritual beliefs? He believes there must be some truth to common threads in the religion of the two halves of the world, but he is not sure of exact truth; he has come to believe in kindness as a guiding principle
Is religion or spirituality a part of this character’s life? More spirituality now
If so, what role does it play? It is part of why he runs
How the Character is Involved in the Story: he will end up being the person who tells the main character the truth about his family and their destiny. He will motivate the main character to eventually return and save his family.
Character’s role in the novel (main character? hero? heroine? Romantic interest? etc.): uncle to the main character and moral balance
Scene where character first appears: chapter 2
How character is different at the end of the novel from when the novel began: he has been humbled, thrown into a completely different world than he expected, and has found what really matters in life
Character Interaction
Prince Ibeji and his Uncle Kwento will not meet until late in the novel, but the information Kwento shares with Ibeji will send him into a tailspin. Kwento proposes an overthrow of the kingdom in order to save the lives of people Ibeji loves. It will make him question his faith in the world he knows. Ibeji wants to find his own kingdom to rule, but Kwento makes a case for returning home to rule.
Proust Questionnaire
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Ibeji – It is known by all that I recovered the lost crown of Olokun for the honor and glory of my father King Olorun and to seal my manhood. However, I am most proud of saving my brother from certain death at the hands of radical misandrists. I could have let nature take its course and I would be planning my own coronation, but I remained loyal and upheld the nobility to which I was born.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Ibeji – My loved ones safe, a beautiful woman by my side, the sun on my skin, surfing all afternoon before taking a nap on the beach while lessers fan me.
What is your current state of mind?
Ibeji – Excited, eager, impatient to head out on the greatest quest a man has ever undertaken. I will either gain the world or die trying.
What is your favorite occupation?
Ibeji – I am not a shamed lesser. I was born to the ruling class. This must be a list of questions for commoners.
What is your most treasured possession?
Ibeji – My father gave me a jeweled scepter that has been in our family vault for centuries to take with me on my quest. I will use it to rule when I am sitting on my throne beyond the mountains and the sea. It is priceless. But if I am honest, the only object that is on my person at all times is my dagger given to me by my mother when I was 12. It has proved the most useful and most valuable of all my belongings.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Ibeji – My baby sister Tujuka. She is five and is the most joyful person I know.
What is your favorite journey?
Ibeji – The one I have yet to take.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Ibeji – My skin curse has marked me as second born. People must show me respect because I am a prince, but I see the disgust and judgment in their eyes, nonetheless.
When and where were you the happiest?
Ibeji – It was the moment I arrived home from earning my manhood at 14 years old. My mother had given birth to my baby sister while I was on my journey and she was rocking the little one to sleep when I surprised her with my arrival. I could see the pride in her eyes. Then she laid the baby on a cushion, got down on her knees, and placed her forehead on my feet. It was the first time my mother showed me due reverence as a grown man. Later, before presenting the crown to Father, I slipped baby Tujuka into the crown. Her whole body fit through it like it was a giant golden suit of armor. She began to bubble with laughter like only babies can do and my heart was filled to bursting.
What is it that you most dislike?
Ibeji – Judgment from others.
What is your greatest fear?
Ibeji – Failure.
What is your greatest extravagance?
Ibeji – I’m not sure I understand the question. I partake of what I am owed by divine right. Nothing is extravagant. It is as it should be.
Which living person do you most despise?
Ibeji – Cleric Abiola. He knows why.
What is your greatest regret?
Ibeji – That I never met my Uncle Kwento who died the day I was born. I am told I am like him in many ways.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Ibeji – I do not need to wish. If I desire a skill, I hire the greatest teacher, devote myself to the practice of it, and master said skill.
Where would you like to live?
Ibeji – I will live in my own palace in the world beyond the mountains and the sea.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Ibeji – I would imagine being born lesser and unable to prove yourself worthy.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Ibeji – Loyalty.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Ibeji – Beauty.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Ibeji – That I let others’ opinions of my skin bother me.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Ibeji – That they are bothered by my skin.
What do you most value in your friends?
Ibeji – I do not have friends. I have brothers and lessers.
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Ibeji – I do not read fiction. That is for women.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Ibeji – I have no heroes. I make my own fortune.
Which living person do you most admire?
Ibeji – Myself.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Ibeji – Patience. How many more questions are there?
On what occasions do you lie?
Ibeji – When women ask if they are my favorite.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Ibeji – Are you trying to die today?
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Ibeji – Being born second.
What are your favorite names?
Ibeji – Tujuka (my sister) and Jol (my mother)
How would you like to die?
Ibeji – With honor. Perhaps defending my own throne.
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
Ibeji – A moon.
What is your motto?
Ibeji – Words mean nothing.
Theme Development:
One main theme I would like to explore in this novel is the need for constant approval in a merit-based society where every person’s worth is dependent on achievement. There is not room for people who lack ambition to be at peace in this world. It will create a culture of constant competition and outdoing what has been done before. This will build animosity within families and social groupings and lead to disastrous consequences as people risk everything to be the best. This will be seen between Ibeji and Imana and others within the royal family. Because women must bear children, their worth is entirely based on reproductive abilities, which will lead to dangerous treatments, life-risking procedures, and women taking their own lives rather than becoming slaves. It could also lead to infant trafficking and all sorts of other evils to trick the system. These ideas will be explored in act one of the novel, especially as regards the six wives of King Olorun. The meaning I hope readers will gain is that people should be accepted as they are rather than requiring achievement or progeny to be of value.
Because the elaborate structure of the royal family invites competition and resentment between the different wives, children, and slaves, the question of loyalty also becomes a theme. The reader will hopefully value the eventual loyalty of Ibeji to his brother and the loyalty of people like the midwife to her women. She will be depicted as a fighter for female sovereignty. Some of her methods that seem questionable will save lives and ultimately keep people safe. Odafin (Ibeji’s brother from another mother) will be a constant companion in his adventures and will prove to be one of the most loyal characters in the book. He is third in line for the throne and has multiple opportunities to kill Ibeji in order to become the spare heir, but is steadfast in his fidelity to his best friend and brother Ibeji. The meaning imbedded in developing this theme is that loyalty to beliefs, honor, and integrity are noble.
Revisions:
The following feedback has made its way into my revision process:
(From Jeanne)
- Kwento is already likeable since he is an artist, poet, and romantic. He needs to have more flaws like jealousy for the thrown, or he wants to do away with the old traditions, but he thinks way outside the box. Like instead of the “old ways,” he wants to have free love incorporated where anyone can sleep with whomever they please. All the babies conceived would be taken care of communally. Something along those lines.
- As far as Ibeji goes, maybe he can also have a short temper that he works on controlling because of his insecurities.
(From Kody)
- Giving the character a color-coded condition like vitiligo has a lot of sociopolitical nuance behind it, and as a white person I don’t consider myself qualified to comment overmuch on it. Because you’re writing fantasy, though, you do have a bit of power here. Because it’s closely tied with a real-world phenomenon, changing it overmuch might dilute the message you are trying to send about body acceptance or societal pressure surrounding vitiligo. You do not have to be accurate to the real world, but whether you want to or not your story will be compared to the real world. The movie Bright, for instance, drew some scrutiny when it made its orcs (a fantasy species generally portrayed as brutish, savage, and ugly) heavily coded as Black. Even though the orcs were made up, the fact that it tied orc stereotypes to Black stereotypes sent a negative message to some people. So, if you’re trying to send a message about Black beauty stereotypes or vitiligo, adding something extra to it (unique eye colors) might dilute that message! It’ll definitely be worthwhile to see how vitiligo is handled in other characters. Is there something you would gain by giving him heterochromia that would make it worthwhile to your story? If it’s simply an aesthetic choice, I’d say drop it and focus more on how vitiligo affects him, making that aspect of your story stronger.
- I’d recommend checking out books or other media where a main character struggles with acne, since it’s also a skin condition that has a lot of stigma attached to it. Just as vitiligo was once conflated with leprosy, acne is often assumed to be from uncleanliness or poor health, and acne can be immensely damaging to one’s self-esteem. Of course, if you can find a source on vitiligo that would be even better, but those may be harder to find unfortunately
(From Dariusz)
- after I finished reading your Book Description/Plot Summary: I would love to see you at least hint on what are Ibeji’s ‘constant achievements’ in the book’s description?
The following feedback has been evaluated and I have decided not to implement it:
(From Dariusz)
- P.S. When I first looked at your post’s title, my thoughts went straight to Arizona 🙂 I know it isn’t a biggie, but is that something that you are at all concerned, as far as the audience and the marketing of your book?
I am honestly still considering changing the name of the planet, but have not yet come across a name that works using the Japanese definitions I am going for. Yuma means “Calm truth” in Japanese. I like the idea of that for the Yin/Yang concept I am going for that will culminate in meaning in the 3rd book of the series. I have not ruled out changing the name; I simply have not found another one that mean something significant for my story. Dariusz makes an excellent point (especially since the name will be in the title.)
Goals Statement:
I have never planned out my entire novel with chapter summaries before. I have simply started writing and seen where it takes me. This method feels more structured and gives me hope that I will create something with much more thematic value that also takes the reader on a better-defined journey. For example, while planning the chapter summaries the half-brother Odafin surfaced as a key witness to the main character’s adventures and made me realize he should narrate a chapter.
The Proust Questionnaire was an excellent exercise to explore my character that I have never done before. Taking the time to get to know my main characters before jumping into the story has created layers of personality that will hopefully produce better-rounded characters in the long run.
I have also never delved into the setting as intensely before. This exercise has made me excited about creating a fantasy world and made me believe that I have a shot at actually writing a fantasy novel. This is a first for me and I am as nervous as I am excited!
Receiving peer feedback was nerve-wracking, especially because it was during the formation process. I am used to sharing pieces with others after I have perfected them, but this was a much more vulnerable experience. Surprisingly, I found it affirming and helpful. The suggestions made by fellow writers were spot on for consideration and shared in a spirit of mutual growth. I would love to find a community to write with in the future that could be equally supportive.
My goal now is to begin crafting portions of the story that seem crucial to character development. Because I have spent so much time working on Ibeji (my main character’s) part of the story, I would like to jump right into his part of the book, which is actually about 1/3 of the way in. Then, as I realize I need bits of history to make sense of things, I will go back and work on his father’s story. That may be a bit backward, but it seems logical to me as a way to start. I am going to set a goal of writing at least one scene or chapter every week to keep the momentum going.
Thoughts on “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid
“Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid hints at the character of a caregiver to a young woman. In her attempts to teach the girl the ways of womanhood, she shows herself to be old-fashioned, strict in principle, and set in her views of gender roles. These qualities demonstrate her preferences. Little details in her lecturing show glimpses of her past like the fact that she knows how to grow crops, sew clothes, and run a household. She is savvy about interactions with men, has loved, has fallen out of love, and has given up on love. These qualities demonstrate her history. Her flaw is her suspicion of the girl. She cannot imagine that the girl is not making all the same mistakes she made. And with so much emphasis on avoiding the appearance of impropriety, it is surprising that she has possibly had an abortion (Kincaid).
The unique writing style of this piece develops the character in a manner that only gives a slice of information and entirely through dialogue. The reader must infer character traits and piece her story together with clues from her speech. This method does not permit as much character development as one might prefer and provides no physical description of the character. Enemies are vaguely hinted at as men who have bullied her and fake smiles given to people she doesn’t like. The story leaves one wanting more with no means of satisfaction. When I write characters, I hope to capture the voice and traits as well as Kincaid, but provide more physical descriptions and consider alliances during development.
Bonus Note: The woman accuses the girl of singing Benna in Sunday School and I laughed so hard when I looked it up on line. “Sexually suggestive, call and repeat style, telling scandalous gossip”…definitely not appropriate Sunday School music, but so funny to picture either one of them giving it a shot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOIlA9s6QxE
Works Cited
Kincaid, Jamaica. “Girl.” At the Bottom of the River, Farrar Straus Giroux, 1983, pp. 3-5.
MadTGuans. “Benna (Antigua Soca 2014) Showcasing Beautiful People Mas Band”, YouTube, 11 August 2014, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UOIlA9s6QxE
“Writing Dynamic Characters: A Checklist”. NY Book Editors, 2020, nybookeditors.com/2013/10/dynamic-characters/
Images created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompts using AI on Gencraft.
Believable Language: In 3 John Green YA Novels
TRIGGER WARNING: This essay discusses mental health (including OCD), grief, emotional distress, strong language, and social inequality as they appear in John Green’s novels.
Authors of young adult fiction have the difficult task of creating characters, situations, and dialogue that teenagers will believe. If a novel’s plot is boring, the characters lack development, or the dialogue sounds fake, teenagers are quick to toss the book aside and look for a different author. However, once an author captures their hearts, young adults create a loyal fan-base who will read every book the writer produces and pass them among friends like contraband. John Green has successfully built just such a fan base. An analysis of three of his novels reveals the techniques he uses to create a reality that young adults will believe using language that is authentic to their worldview. Looking for Alaska is one of Green’s earliest books, Turtles All The Way Down one of his newest, and An Abundance of Katherines one of his most unique. Each contains myriad examples of masterful writing to which teenagers connect.
One method is invented vocabulary through methods of functional shifting, combining, reanalysis, clipping, and suffixing. Another is changing syntax by manipulating the expected word order to indicate southern diction, English as a second language, and creative thinking. In the area of semantics, Green creates meaning using a variety of registers within different specializations, word choices with teen-geared connotations, and vague wording to leave meaning ambiguous at times when the characters are being mysterious. He also uses word choices to indicate various socio-economic classes of people and audience-specific dialogue that incorporates youthful diction and slang. John Green utilizes invented vocabulary, syntax, and semantic strategies in his novels to successfully appeal to young adults.
The use of invented vocabulary speaks to youth because people in this stage challenge rules and push boundaries, a sort of “verbal revolution” to quote Walt Whitman (Curzan 120). Green capitalizes on this invention of words to make young adults feel connected to his writing. In Looking for Alaska, Miles says he has come to boarding school “looking for a Great Perhaps” (Alaska 219). Changing perhaps from its usual part of speech as an adverb to a proper noun is a creative way of connecting the main character to a sense of adventure as he begins his search for meaning in life. At another point, Miles says he uses “the friend card” which is a popular phrase taking the noun friend and shifting it to use as an adjective (Alaska 77). Then Alaska calls Miles a “perv”, a clipping of the word pervert (Alaska 41). At the boarding school, Alaska invents the name of their favorite meal “a deep-fried bean burrito, the bufriedo” by combining the words burrito, fried, and beans. Miles goes on to talk about “savoring the bean-y crunch” and creates the word bean-y by suffixing or adding a y to the end of the word (Alaska 22). Some of the most entertaining inventions are the reanalysis of common sayings. At one point when discussing the destruction of Alaska’s books that she bought at garage sales, Miles says, “Ashes to Ashes. Garage sale to garage sale,” rather than stating the oft-quoted ashes to ashes; dust to dust (Alaska 154). At another point Miles mixes the sayings switch conversations and change horses midstream using reanalysis to claim that Alaska tended to “switch conversational horses midstream” (Alaska 53).
John Green plays with syntax in An Abundance of Katherines to show the speech patterns of an elderly man named Starnes from Tennessee who was born and raised in the country. He says, “Hollis…took good care of us every one” (Katherines 81). The usual word order for Standard English is took good care of every one of us. Placing the indefinite pronouns at the end of the sentence is more common among southern dialects of years past. Green also uses changes in word order to indicate broken English. Hassan pretends he is French and tells some girls that Colin has Tourette’s by saying, “He has the disease with the talking…I do not know how you say in English” (Katherines 52). He is trying to be funny but characteristic of English language learners who sometimes rearrange words and leave out words necessary to form complete sentences.
Green also permits characters to order their words interestingly to indicate intellect and creative/poetic thinking. In Turtles All the Way Down, Davis is a creative poet and writes with unique syntax for a teenager. One computer entry reads, “My mother’s footsteps/were so quiet/I barely heard her leave.” Placing the footsteps of his mother at the beginning of the poem creates more poignant imagery at the end when the reader realizes the mother is no longer around. Another says, “Gravity differs from affection: only one is constant” (Turtles 189). This quote could be put simply, Gravity is constant, but affection is fickle. Davis’s wording sets up a contrast that is meant to be pondered prior to providing an open-ended answer following the colon to ponder some more. In another entry, Davis types in response to Shakespeare’s quote Doubt that the sun doth move, “It dothn’t move…not around us…Who knows what lies I believe…Who knows what we shouldn’t doubt” (Turtles 207-208). This could be written, Our faith may be unfounded. Things we doubt might be true. His method is more creative and permits the reader to play with the words, mulling them over for meaning.
Linguistic social markers are another technique Green uses to indicate different classes of people. In Turtles All the Way Down when a lawyer for a wealthy family is speaking, his diction is crisp and word choice selective. “Your concern is admirable, Ms. Holmes, but I assure you that everything is cared for…Do you have any other questions of pertinence to your situation” (Turtles 127). The attorney says pertinence which could be considered within his legal register of terminology and is a variation as he could have just as easily said simpler synonyms for a teenage audience (he was speaking to a teenager at the time.) Contrast his speech with Daisy’s. She is a poor teenager who hustles to get anything she wants and fills her sentences with slang, cursing, and different grammatical structures. Her vernacular is a stereotype of underprivileged teenagers. “You got a car and a laptop and all that shit, and you think it’s natural. You think it’s just normal to have a house with your own room and a mom who helps with your homework” (Turtles 216).
When demonstrating the intellect of a psychiatrist, Green gives Dr. Singh the ability to recall quotes from a philosopher in Latin. This ability in speech is a social marker of being well-educated in American society. “A fuller formation of Descartes’s philosophy would be Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum. I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am” (Turtles 166). Along the same vein, when a teenager from a rich family is discussing a painting in his mansion, he shortens the name of the artist (Kerry James Marshall) in question to initials. This familiarity with an artist’s work implies wealth and privilege. “I really love KJM’s work” (Turtles 100). He also invites his friends to watch a movie in his home theater. He uses a word most teenagers have never uttered in the context of a home service. “When I was a kid, we had to have a projectionist come out, but now it’s all digital” (Turtles 98). These are indicators that his social experiences are quite different from the other teenagers in the book. In An Abundance of Katherines Hassan’s humor and intellect are demonstrated in the following exchange when he is invited to say “grace” in a Christian home, despite the fact that he is Muslim:
“Hassan cleared his throat. Bismillah.
Then he picked up his fork.That’s it? Hollis wondered.
That’s it. We are a terse people. Terse, and also hungry” (Katherines 62).
Average teenagers do not tend to use a word like terse. A more common phrase might be we don’t talk a lot.
More examples of slang and teenage diction in Green’s work permit young adult readers to connect with the characters. In An Abundance of Katherines, Hassan says, “Sup?” instead of What is up? (Katherines 128). Lindsey says, “I’m a’ight,” instead of I am alright (Katherines 99). At one point when Colin is being awakened by a rooster crowing Cock-a-doodle-do, Colin responds in typical annoyance. His witty response; however, is less than typical. “Cock-a-doodle-don’t, Motherfugger” (Katherines 77). The connotations of his invented words are obviously negative. In Looking for Alaska Takumi refers to the authorities with the slang term pig that is sometimes used in reference to the police. “The pigs can’t stop the fox” (Alaska 106). The group of teens make up names for each other, their cars, and different locations as young people are known to do. They call McDonald’s “McInedible” (Alaska 76). The leader of their group is called The Colonel, the authority figure who catches them and has the power to expel them is called The Eagle, and the skinny main character is ironically called Pudge. Green uses these name choices to show the way young people play with language and make it their own.
One character in Looking for Alaska named Alaska is described as moody and is meant to be mysterious, her motivations and goals unknown. The reader is left trying to solve her like a puzzle. The 1st person limited narrator Miles makes the interesting point about her, “…the way her mouth curled up on the right side all the time, like she was preparing to smirk, like she’d mastered the right half of the Mona Lisa’s inimitable smile…” (Alaska 30). He alludes to a mesmerizing painting, the subject of which has created generations to guess what that smile is about. The narrator is also perplexed in another scene by Alaska’s mood swings and thinks, “How could the girl who told that joke three hours before become a sobbing mess” (Alaska 86)? During a game, Alaska is supposed to describe the best day of her life. “Best day of my life was January 9, 1997. I was eight years old, and my mom and I went to the zoo on a class trip” (Alaska 115). When a friend tries to get to know her better and find out how she is, Alaska responds, “I’m really not up for questions that start with how, when, where, why, or what” (Alaska 68). When confronted by a confused friend who says, “I don’t get you,” she responds with, “You never get me. That’s the whole point” (Alaska 55). Green uses vague descriptions and non-committal vocabulary to keep the Alaska character a mystery for the other characters and the reader.
The ability to create realistic characters who can play with language as they speak with authentic teen dialogue and about topics young adults care about is what makes John Green’s books relatable. Readers are drawn into the minds and hearts of each person and the relationships they build while they struggle to make sense of the chaos of life. The universal questions tackled by Green are balanced with humor and enough teenage nonsense to keep the books from seeming pretentious. Miles says at the end of Looking for Alaska “I came here looking for the Great Perhaps…maybe the afterlife is just something we made up to ease the pain of loss…Thomas Edison’s last words were: It’s very beautiful over there. I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful” (Alaska 220-221). The invented vocabulary, syntax and semantic choices John Green uses in his novels combine to create works that appeal to young adult readers due to authenticity and the ability to connect to teenage concerns.
Works Cited
Curzan, Anne and Michael P. Adams. How English works : a linguistic introduction – 3rd ed. p.cm. Glenview, IL: Pearson Education, Inc., 2012.
Flood, Alison. “John Green: Having OCD is an Ongoing Part of my Life.” The Guardian. 14 October, 2017, www.theguardian.com/books/2017/oct/14/john-green-turtles-all-the-way-down-ocd-interview.
Green, John. An Abundance of Katherines. Dutton and Speak, 2006.
Green, John. Looking For Alaska. Dutton Juvenile, 2005.
Green, John. Turtles All The Way Down. Dutton Penguin, 2017.
Hurst, Mary Jane. The VOICE of the CHILD in American Literature: Linguistic Approaches to Fictional Child Language. The University Press of Kentucky, 1990.
Mohamed, Dr. Theresa. “Learning Modules”, Eng-550-Q4588 Grad Studies in English Lang 20TW4, Southern New Hampshire University, 2020, learn.snhu.edu/d2l/home/398756.
Nilsen, Aleen Pace; Donelson, Kenneth L. Literature for Today’s Young Adults, 8th Edition. Pearson, 2009.
Palmer, Iva-Marie. “Why John Green Just Gets It.” Teen, Brightly: Raise Kids Who Love to Read, www.readbrightly.com/john-green-just-gets/
Rozema, Robert. “The Problem of Autism in Young Adult Fiction.” Language Arts Journal of Medicine, v. 30, issue 1, art. 7, 2014.
Reflecting on Creating a Writing Space (John August & Aline Brosh McKenna as Inspiration)
John August Differences
August uses a white board to explore and make a big mess connecting all the characters and mapping their relationships. August points out that after he has pictured the scene over and over again, then he gets it onto paper as fast as possible and it may appear as gibberish, bare bones, with awful dialogue. Besides using a standing desk to help with focus, he types on a bent broken keyboard to type sideways and spare his wrists. He tends to write whatever scene appeals to him and skips around a lot. Though he writes the very end early on so he knows the destination, his main focus is on the middle. He likes to write about people navigating between two worlds.
Aline Brosh McKenna Differences
McKenna sets specific goals for herself to feel that she has completed real work in a day. She needs an expanse of time that she is alone and able to “do her thing.” She says that she only has a few good ideas a year. She sees creativity as giving sudden birth to the idea and then has to work on it from there. It may come out fully formed, but other times it may need some work or you may need to start over. When she is ready to write the outline for her movie, she creates bullet points of all key scenes on big paper in three acts. She prefers to take the big paper to show people her idea instead of using cards. McKenna thinks it is more important to write something authentic than to worry about if it has ever been done before. For her, creativity happens due to habitual, consistent practice.
John August & Aline Brosh McKenna Similarities
Both writers work in office spaces they have designated for their craft. McKenna points out that she is able to get more done without the distractions of domestic life fighting for attention. Both writers use big spaces to initially plan their movie ideas. Both work at standing desks often. Both start with bare bones and end up handwriting the ideas after brainstorming. Both picture the movie in their head before writing it down. Both say they get many ideas, but only a few end up being really usable.
Ideas I will use
After watching these videos, I recommitted to setting up my writing space to make it more accessible for after my hip surgery and more user-friendly to make writing in the space productive. My husband and cousin worked all day Saturday with me to clean, sort, and declutter. Then they moved all of the heavy furniture around in our bedroom to create a corner with open-floor access to both my bed, the exit, and the restroom. I am quite pleased with the results and am currently working on this assignment in my new office. I love the idea of writing on large paper and am going to purchase some this week online. I am envisioning putting it on my wall next to my desk as I work and adding elements as I brainstorm. I plan to outline the bullet points of my movie like McKenna, which is already a technique I have used in writing. However, I am going to give myself permission to work on whichever scenes appeal to me the most, rather than feeling like I have to go in order, like August suggests. I am excited to give that a try.
Works Cited
“Creative Spark: Aline Brosh McKenna.” Academy Originals. YouTube. 14 July, 2014,www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=aE_BekA3GWE&list=PLsruNZel-SDQj6OIG7M8uFzSGX6SMa3iS&index=16
“Creative Spark: John August.” Academy Originals. YouTube. 1 Dec 2014, http://www.youtube.com/ watch?app=desktop&v=EbngAEH5Lis
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