Tag Archives: relationships

Hafiz – Poem 21

All images created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompts using AI on Gencraft.com website.

I am reading Hafiz’s Little Book of Life, poetry by Hafiz-e Shirazi. He is challenging me to become more comfortable with ambiguity. I will share his poem and some of my thoughts on his poem (sometimes with the help of experts when the concepts are too hard for me), followed by a poem and some art inspired by his poem.

Hafiz’s Poem 21:

You might think those who speak harmfully

Will get away with it

But they’re being monitored by

The Recording Angels

Some thoughts:

This one got me pondering what it is to speak harmfully. Of course there are the obvious types of harmful speech like threats, abusive language, hurtful insults, comments meant to undermine a person’s self-confidence, disrespectful utterances, and slander. But there are other types of speech that possibly harm less directly, like gossip, argument simply to sow discord, lies, rude tones, sarcasm mean to wound or undermine, gaslighting, fake news, and attempting to rewrite reality to suit the victor or person in power. None of these is good for the speaker or the receiver of the information. Ultimately, something negative has been unleashed when anyone employs harmful speech as a tactic.

Often, people who make a habit of such behaviors appear to get away with it. Why else would they keep doing it, except that it benefits them and they get their way by using insults and lies as weapons. But Hafiz does not believe that those people will get away with it in the end. He seems to think every word uttered by humans are monitored. Whoever these Recording Angels are, they probably don’t take too kindly to having to work overtime lately. Even if despicable speech goes unpunished today, the speaker has been recorded in somebody’s book as someone who speaks harmfully.  

My Poem 21:

As regards the habit of opening
the mouth for the purpose of emitting
words meant for other people:
Speak kindly to others,
and be generous with praise.
Share appreciation easily.
Be quick with a soothing word,
with compassion overflowing.
Let poetry and song spring
forth with abundance.
Offer gentle reassurance,
and share steady encouragement.
Keep truth on the tip of the tongue,
and only fill silence with peace,
tenderness, humor, vulnerability,
genuine friendliness, graciousness,
humility, and hopefulness.

Hafiz. Hafiz’s Little Book of Life. Translated by Erfan Mojib and Gary Gach, Hampton Roads Publishing, 2023.

Gabi, A Girl in Pieces (Book Review)

TRIGGER WARNING: This novel addresses themes of teen pregnancy, substance abuse, addiction, death, sexuality, religious pressure, body image struggles, and family conflict. Some material may be sensitive for readers.

Isabel Quintero does a fabulous job in Gabi, A Girl in Pieces of making us fall in love with a messy, smart, creative, beautiful, real-sounding protagonist. Gabi is sharing her journal with us, along with poetry, artwork, letters to her drug-addicted father, and innermost secrets. We are there for the highs and the lows, and we laugh right along with her, just before we grab a box of tissues to sob along with her. It is her senior year, and she is a pale-skinned Mexican American girl proud of her culture and obsessed with her food. (This gordita can relate.)

She tackles relationships with boys, friendship, teen-pregnancy, religious pressure, family dynamics, sibling issues, senior year stress, college applications, drug abuse, death, sex, body image, and more. Her voice is sarcastic, tender, raw, and heartbreakingly vulnerable. Navigating the minefields of adolescence in the 21st century has never seemed more fraught nor more worth celebrating. It is full of issues that make it a commonly banned book in conservative states’ schools. I feel sad for young ladies who may never get the chance to meet Gabi because there are probably many who could find hope and courage from her example.

Quintero, Isabel, Gabi, A Girl in Pieces, Cinco Puntos Press, 2014.

The Argonauts (Book Review)

The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson felt like a slap in the face, a comforting hug, an electric shock, and a soothing warm bath. The format was unique and felt experimental—blocks of text, quotes, memories, verbal snapshots, reporting, and textbook-like excerpts all woven into a seamless narrative. The subject matter is raw, often unfiltered, intimate details that feel way more personal than I would ever be comfortable sharing with total strangers. But good for Maggie Nelson for having the chutzpah to attempt such a thing. I love that she finds her own voice by the end by admitting that she is still searching and leaving room for vulnerability in a way that is honest and impressively real.

Her descriptions of pregnancy, sexuality, dealing with loss, giving birth, holding on to self, nursing, her relationship with her partner, gender identity, and expert opinions, *in no particular order, combine to weave almost a stream-of-consciousness-style memoir that defies classification. I think I might have blushed a few times, certainly opened my eyes a bit wider, and definitely wondered why my college courses weren’t quite as shocking as some of hers. But the fact that I felt a connection shows the depth of both her humanity and her fabulous writing talent (since I am a southern, more conservative than her, heterosexual, certainly more comfortable with conventional-vanilla bedroom activities sort of gal. I’ll put it this way—I learned a lot from this book.)

*I jest about the “no particular order” comment because I am sure there is a well-crafted method to her madness that makes it feel like a jumble of thoughts and also a coherent work.

Also, if you are interested in the book, I recommend Googling “Why is Maggie Nelson’s book titled The Argonauts?” It gives a fabulous description of what you are getting yourself into. A brief quote from that Google search using their AI is as follows: “The title reflects the “constantly shifting” nature of queer identity, family-making, and language.”

AI Overview, Google, searched 31 Jan 2026.

Nelson, Maggie, The Argonauts, Graywolf Press, 2015.

The Four Loves (Book Review)

All images created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompts using AI on Gencraft.com website.

I’m not sure what I was expecting of C.S. Lewis’s The Four Loves, but I was surprised by the conversational tone. Though I did not agree with all his assertions, many of the ideas and categorizations of types of love made sense. He breaks love into the categories of Affection, Friendship, Eros, and Charity. Then he has another discussion around the Likings and Loves for the Sub-Human, like when we say we like taking naps or love cheesecake. Many examples within each of the categories also fall into what he calls Need-love vs. Gift-love. Need-love would be assigned to necessary-for-survival-type loves, like a child to a parent or water to quench thirst. Gift-love would be assigned to unnecessary-type loves, like appreciation of a beautiful piece of art or taking care of a sick person.

The reader should be prepared for strict opinions based on Lewis’s beliefs regarding gender roles, nature, science, the fall of mankind, sin, the afterlife, and other principles that Lewis views as black or white, rather than a possible spectrum of interpretation of Biblical text. If that is an accepted foundation going in, the concept of love can be the focus for analysis. I find the idea of even attempting to categorize love somewhat grandiose. However, Lewis’s arguments are well thought out. There are probably many more nuances that could be catalogued by culture, historical context, language, psychotropically induced vs. naturally occurring, gender-related, conscious v. subconscious, etc. I wonder if there are as many different types of love as there are people on the planet. That would be a much thicker book, though.

Lewis, C.S. The Four Loves, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 1960.

Hafiz – Poem 3

I am reading Hafiz’s Little Book of Life, poetry by Hafiz-e Shirazi. He is challenging me to become more comfortable with ambiguity. I will share his poem and some of my thoughts on his poem (sometimes with the help of experts when the concepts are too hard for me), followed by a poem and some art inspired by his poem.

Hafiz’s Poem 3:

To cut off my desire for life
Would be easy, next to cutting off
Dear
Friends

Some thoughts:

If the desire for life in mystical philosophy is wrapped up in ego, renouncing the world, releasing ambition, etc., then Hafiz is saying that surrendering control is a piece of cake compared to severing relationships with dear friends. And the contrast he is setting up implies that he has no intention of severing ties with those he loves for supposed holiness or spiritual advancement. Perhaps he is even critiquing some of the spiritual asceticism some practices require of their members, like abstinence from human relationships and connection to others. Detachment does not mean abandoning those we love. God is love, so intimacy with others must be sacred.

My Poem 3:

Dissolve the untrue.

The last thing standing is love,

for love is not false.

Hafiz. Hafiz’s Little Book of Life. Translated by Erfan Mojib and Gary Gach, Hampton Roads Publishing, 2023.

A Court of Wings and Ruin (ACOTAR Book Review 3)

All images created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompts using AI on Gencraft.com website.

WARNING – SPOILERS

A Court of Wings & Ruin, the 3rd book in the ACOTAR series, held its own in the cannon. It was not my favorite of the books but was a necessary middle step to Feyre righting her life and fully coming into her own. She must make more heartbreaking decisions to save herself, save those she loves, and end things once and for all with her past relationships that keep weighing her down.

I like that the book is messy, things don’t go as planned quite often, pivots must be made, and even immortal beings must repeatedly circle back to try to fix things over and over again. It feels very human, very relatable to not have everything be an easy win as these magnificent beings battle their way to try to save the world. There are gigantic beasts, ulterior motives, dark ancient magic, impossible choices, and unlikely alliances.

Elaine (Feyer’s sister) begins to come into her own as she wrestles with her powerful gifts in this book. And her lack of interest in the being to whom fate has declared her a mate is a fascinating twist. Nesta must figure out how to live in this world she hates, and grapple with why she is strangely drawn to Cassian. I love that her character is super cantankerous. She is not very likeable, and that makes her interesting. She doesn’t seem to care about being liked. Feyre and her mate keep our hearts pounding with their love. And Mor’s secrets about her love life are a perfectly revealing piece of the puzzle.

I must say that the deaths in this book had me sobbing. I will say no more about that, so I don’t ruin anything too grievous for anyone. I will simply say that the toll of war is well-depicted and heartbreakingly devastating.

Maas, Sarah J. A Court of Wings and Ruin. Bloomsbury Publishing, 2017.

poor your soul (A Book Review)

To be raw and real in the retelling of your own most vulnerable moments creates a profound intimacy in memoir. I don’t know if I’m brave enough to write one. Mira Ptacin explores her own fears and feelings of shame and grief around the death of her brother as a teenager and the loss of her baby in her 20s. She weaves a beautiful tribute to her mother who emigrated from Poland and built a life with perseverance and grit here in America. Americans did not make it easy on her.

The subtle twists and turns of growing up, beginning to relate to your parents as fellow adults, discovering that your childhood perceptions of them may have been misconstrued, and finding internal peace in the process are themes that resonate with me, as I have experienced this with my own parents, and now have adult children going through this phase of life with me. Though I have never had to experience the same kinds of grief as Mira, her example of leaning on her loved ones, finding her own path forward, and being gentle with the healing process (however long it takes), makes me hope I can do so with the same indomitable spirt as her, if I am ever tasked with such a burden.

I probably would never have chosen this book, had I known how much of the story centered around the awful experience of having to make decisions related to ending a pregnancy, so I am glad I was unaware because I would have missed out on so many threads of beauty and love. And every scene that includes her husband is superb. He tends to steal the scene, as he is depicted as sincere, silly, and supportive in all the right ways.

Rebekah Marshall @Home Studio

Ptacin, Mira, poor your soul, SOHO Press, Inc., 2016.

Ham Sandwich

(Poem 356 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

AI Generated image I prompted on Gencraft.com https://gencraft.ai/p/VVIet0

When given his druthers,
more often than not,
Grandad chooses a ham
sandwich for lunch.

What about roasted chicken,
beef stew, spaghetti, or pizza?
No, just a ham sandwich
sounds good today.

Honey wheat sliced bread,
no need for toasting,
Kraft, the only mayonnaise,
and ham, no cheese.

Would you like some chips
or a salad on the side?
No, just a ham sandwich
sounds good today.

What about to drink—
iced tea, root beer?
Coke, water, juice, or milk?
His drink choice holds variety.

But if I try to fancy things up,
offer garnish or fruit slices?
No, just a ham sandwich
sounds good today.

@Home Studio – 356th poem of the year

Runner ups for the Ham Sandwich photos to accompany my poem:

AI couldn’t figure out how to assemble the sandwich.

AI was not exactly sure what to do with the mayo. Coca Cola Mayo!!!lol

These actually look really tasty, but Grandad would never eat cucumbers or ask for anything green on his sandwiches.

Married at First Sight

(Poem 353 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

What kind of courage must it take
to agree to marry a complete stranger?
To put your fate in the hands of professional
matchmakers who will find you a mate?

What kind of failures in relationships
and heartbreak must you have experienced
to decide your picker is irrevocably broken,
so you’re better off letting someone else decide?

What kind of hope must bubble up
as you dress for your wedding day,
eager to meet the man or woman
you might spend all your days with?

What kind of crash course in communication
could possibly prepare two people
who’ve only just met to dive into
a honeymoon and sleep in the same bed?

What kind of crazy, wild optimism
drives two people to move in together,
combine households, be vulnerable,
and believe in falling in love with a stranger?

@Home Studio – 353rd poem of the year (Based on the show Married at Frist Sight, Nashville, Season 16.)

Married at First Sight, Nashville, Season 16, Chris Coelen, Eric Detwiler, Montre Burton, Kinetic Content, FYI, Lifetime, 2023.

Runner ups for the Married at First Sight photos to accompany my poem:

Car Jenga

(Poem 341 for 2024 – I am writing a poem a day)

Boaz and Ariel leaving for Michigan.

Gifts and necessities
fill every inch of the car
blending possessions
one step in the process
that is part and parcel of
two lives becoming one
from Texas to Canada
Michigan in between
mother’s heart rests easy
when she sees her boy
turned man open the car
door for his wife
and drive away
to start his new life

@Home Studio – 341st poem of the year

Runner ups for the Car Jenga photos to accompany my poem: