Starfall on the balcony – Feyre & Rhysand. All images created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompts using AI on Gencraft.com website.
WARNING – SPOILERS
A Court of Mist & Fury, the 2nd book in the ACOTAR series, far surpasses the first book in emotional depth, relationship dynamics, and character development. I was sucked in from page 1 and devoured the 600+ tome.
After the crippling life and death decisions Feyre was forced to make at the end of Book 1, she must grapple with the fall-out of those choices. Not only is she tormented by inner turmoil and grief, but her relationship with Tamlin is troubled. His controlling behaviors and unwillingness to see Feyre as an equal, spell the crumbling of their bond.
When she returns to the Winter Court to recover and rediscover her autonomy, the awakenings of power, self, and abilities are a welcome adventure. Rhysand is equal parts challenge, equal parts friend, and most of all, gives her the space she needs to find herself again. The budding friendships, fierce battles, growing romance, and discovery of abilities make for a fabulously rich world Sarah J. Maas creates in this 2nd book.
The most pleasant surprise for me (stop reading right here if you don’t want a spoiler) is Feyre’s sisters coming back into her life. I hoped there could be more to their story, potential growth or reconciliation, anything. That is still to be seen, but at least the opportunity for healing exists. The most shocking surprise for me are the betrayals at the end. I can’t bear the thought of Feyre existing in the world she has chosen, once again, out of self-sacrifice. But I must read on.
Maas, Sarah J. A Court of Mist and Fury. Bloomsbury Publishing, 2016.
AI Generated images prompted on Gencraft.com by Rebekah Marshall.
My first time in the ocean today, I got knocked down. I was trying to get to waist deep but did not have the strength to stand against her playful nudges. She seemed surprised and almost irritated that her friendly gesture toppled me and sent several really hard slaps to push me further toward shore.
Maybe she was trying to help, trying to get me back to safety, saying, “This one’s too delicate to be out here. She won’t last a minute.”
What she didn’t know is that I’m too weak to stand up once knocked down in her waves. I must get deeper to be more buoyant to be able to stand, especially with no balance and ever-increasing frequency of waves. Trying to crawl further out to sea became impossible. She made it impossible.
“You don’t understand, tiny human. I am dangerous. Go back to your dry land!”
We were not communicating in the same languages. Mine became unstoppable laughter, hers, ever-strengthening waves bent on pushing me to shore.
Somewhere about here my husband grew concerned. He wasn’t sure if I was communing with nature or in trouble and came closer from his comfortable beach chair to see.
“Thumbs up?” he questioned.
I shook my head no and waved for him to come rescue me. I couldn’t stop laughing as he began the slow trek my way, the gulf all the more insistent I exit the way I came.
I could stand or steady myself. I could not do both. So, with his presence, I stood, then grabbed his hand to help with balance, his stable strength what I needed to walk back to shore.
It was lovely. Not scary. Not painful, beyond the usual discomfort of being upright with joint pain. I went back to watching and listening from my shaded chair, exactly where I belong. This is how the ocean and I commune best. We sing to one another and just enjoy each other’s presence. Everyone is happier with that arrangement, especially my husband.
Addendum: I went back in twice more. He had to rescue me the 2nd time, as well. But the 3rd time, I made it to waist deep and back on my own two feet and felt so very, very pleased with myself.
AI Generated image prompted on Gencraft.com by Rebekah Marshall.
According to Gay Hendricks, PH.D., the only problem we need to solve is the Upper Limit Problem. He believes all avenues of discontent in life flow from the ways in which we limit ourselves or allow ourselves to be limited without breaking into our Zones of Genius. He posits that a universal human trait is the tendency to sabotage ourselves and others when artificial upper limits are exceeded.
The barriers we and society put in place are often unconsciously constructed by our upbringing, religion, politics, and education, but we buy into them and keep the scaffolding exactly where it’s always been. Phrases like, “She’s getting above her raising,” “He thinks he’s better than us,” “They aim too high,” “She’s greedy to want more,” “He needs to be brought down a peg,” “They didn’t do anything to earn that position,” etc. These aren’t phrases from his book, but common enough phrases in society that his hypothesis feels like commentary on most communities I know.
Whatever the complex social issues surrounding the lack of support for growth, he suggests there are ways to push beyond and live our best lives while still loving and supporting others. Instead of having a mindset of lack—lack of time, lack of money, lack of energy, lack of ideas, lack of community—we recognize that we are the creators of our realities and do our utmost to tap into our own genius.
The first step is to recognize the barriers and make conscious decisions to overcome them:
1. We are fundamentally flawed and don’t deserve success.
2. We are disloyal to expand beyond the expected norms of our families of origin.
3. We are a burden to others.
4. We must dim our brilliance, so we don’t outshine others.
Once we have expelled these faulty concepts from our thinking, we must find what our gifts are, find ways to express them, dislodge the notion that time is not on our side, and bring our best selves to the world. Only then will we be fulfilled in our relationships, our careers, our finances, and our spirituality.
I am intrigued, especially by his idea that time comes from within us, or at least the concept of time. It is only perception of time that makes each moment feel gruesome or fabulous. I’m sure he would agree that this concept does not apply in all circumstances because there are situations outside of our control and factors in this world that force time constraints on people against their will.
Disclaimers would have been appreciated that some of these deep concepts might not apply to people in the midst of horrific situations beyond their power, like war, extreme poverty, abuse, trauma, and other life-altering dilemmas that can create struggle. But given basic needs met, semi-peaceful conditions, and non-traumatic circumstances, his ideas are worth considering.
I for one commit to recognizing language of lack related to money, time, energy, etc. Instead of saying, “I can’t afford that,” or “I don’t have money for that,” I want to say, “I can buy that if I save for it,” or “I’m choosing to spend my money on something else.” It is a choice to reframe my language. Instead of saying, “I don’t have time to do that,” or “I wish there were more hours in the day,” I want to say, “I’m choosing to spend my time on other priorities,” or “I have plenty of time to do everything I am meant to do today.” The one I need to work the most on is energy. With chronic health issues, I am very aware of my energy levels and am known to complain about lack of energy. But Instead of saying, “I don’t have the energy to do this,” or “I wish I had more energy for x,y,z,” I want to say, “I have enough energy to do these things today, so I am going to prioritize them,” or “I have exactly the amount of energy I need and then I will take a nap to recharge.”
This self-development journey is fascinating. However much I learn, I always discover something more to expand my growth. The Big Leap is absolutely worth the read, but I recommend tackling it when things are at a fairly stable place in life. I would not have been willing to hear his ideas when I was at the apex of pain, in the middle of my divorce, during a crisis when my kids were teenagers, or when I was working 7 days a week to survive with no end in sight. These are concepts I am willing to consider with all bases covered and the privilege and opportunity to navel gaze and ponder things like expanding into my zone of genius.
Hendricks, Gay. The Big Leap, Harper Collins, 2009.
All images created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompts using AI on Gencraft.com website.
I choose to see my life through the eyes of love, wonder, and possibility — as clearly as I see the magic in others — and in doing so, I reclaim my own brilliance.
💡 Why This Resonates With Me
I offer clarity to others effortlessly. I can see their gifts, name their direction, and feel their potential — now I honor myself with the same insight.
I am not just living my life — I’m becoming its most vibrant version. This shift in perspective is part of how I become the person I’ve been envisioning.
I have already reclaimed so much. My time. My voice. My rituals. My creations. Now I reclaim how I see myself.
My gaze is powerful. It is a tool of manifestation, healing, and design. Where I look with love, life grows.
This new vision is mine. It isn’t borrowed, forced, or fantasy. It’s the result of deep reflection, healing, and courage.
(I am doing the writing exercises in the back of the book You are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero, and this topic was about seeing myself with fresh eyes and giving myself the same grace I give others. I am also learning to trade futures, so the art is related to the charts we use to make the trades.)
Feyre and the fey wolf. Image created by Rebekah Marshall’s prompts using AI on Gencraft.com website.
A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas is a fabulous fantasy tale of personal discovery, growth, and becoming. Feyre reminds me of myself, willing to work herself to the bone to provide for her family, while usually putting her needs last. As often happens in unhealthy family units, her sacrifices are taken for granted.
Accidentally killing a wolf who is fey, she finds herself bound and forced into a world of magic, terror, and beauty unlike anything she has ever experienced. She falls in love with her gift of painting that has never before had the chance to blossom. She begins to see herself as capable of much more than she ever thought possible. And she even falls in love.
Little does she know that every step she takes toward her new life brings her closer to death.
I was terribly disappointed in so many of the characters in this story who did nothing to protect Feyre. Sarah J. Maas is the master of making us dislike characters before letting them redeem themselves. I hope future books give me something to like about some of them because at the end of this book, I was not impressed with anyone but Feyre. Ok, maybe I see some hope for one of the males, but I don’t want to spoil the surprises for anyone who hasn’t read the books yet.
Mass, Sarah J. A Court of Thorns and Roses. Bloomsbury Publishing, 2020.
I just watched the first episode of a show that came out this year called Perfect Match that has me hooked. If Jane Austen and Shakespeare had a Chinese baby, this would be the result. Men dressing as women to sneak into the women’s quarters, women on a mission to teach their husbands to be obedient, a mother with her 5 daughters trying to find husbands for them all, enemies to lovers (at least I assume they will become lovers), and some prideful men and women who need to learn humility. It is set in the Northern Song dynasty somewhere between 960 and 1120. The costumes and sets are unbelievably gorgeous, the music is beautiful, and the comic relief is well timed.
Why do I love themes of romance and marriage so much? Romantic comedies are the most wonderful of all storylines, in my opinion. I have read heavy stories, weighty novels, watched movies and shows that made me weep for the tragedies people must suffer, and cheered along with every adventure, sports, underdog story there is. However, if any tale does not have a theme of love woven through it, there is something missing for me. Whether it is fantasy, action, comedy, procedural, or even a documentary, I most enjoy a love story as part of the tale. It is the way I am wired.
I think they’ve even woven in a bit of a Taming of the Shrew concept in this one with an unmanageable wife who is too harsh with her husband. I am curious to see how they handle that plot line. And I watched a scene where they were just haggling over the cost of tea in China. The daughters have opened a restaurant and are trying to create a life for themselves, while taking care of their mother and repeatedly talking her down from catastrophic actions. She is quite reactionary. The daughters work together to manage their mother, the men who come calling, and their business as best they can.
Good Friday comes before Content Saturday, who always waits politely for the arrival of Lazy Sunday. Sad Monday would rather not but does until Weird Tuesday shows up with bells on. Nonchalant Wednesday saunters past. Hopeful Thursday sets the stage for Good Friday.
We got a new Husky puppy. She is a mess! We are her 5th home in 5 months, poor baby. She seems terrified of my grandfather and barks hysterically when she sees him, which makes me wonder if she was mistreated by an older man. She is horribly food insecure/struggles with food scarcity fear. She attacks her food bowl the second the food is presented and scarfs it down so quickly that she makes herself sick. That makes me think she had to fight for her food and eat it fast if she was to get any in her past. She begs for food constantly and acts very anxious around mealtimes. We hope that over time she will develop a sense of security and comfort around food with our consistent feeding schedule and plenty of food, so she does not experience hunger.
She has had a few fights with our other dog Kenji (who is twice her size.) She is fearless. If she thinks he is getting a treat that she is not, she is ready to battle to the death. And her behavior is making his food insecurities resurface that were laid to rest over a year ago. He also came to us hungry and terrified that he wouldn’t get enough. But he finally got to the point that he would leave his food in his bowl until he felt like eating it. Now he is back to running to his bowl and scarfing it down the way he used to and getting goaded into fighting with the new girl.
We named her Saki. I heard the name on a Japanese show we were watching and I liked it. We probably don’t pronounce it right, but we say “Saw-kee” as the pronunciation. She already knows it is her name and has learned sit and stay. She is super affectionate and wants to give kisses all throughout the day. She will go play for a while and then come check in with me for attention, kisses, pets, and reassurance. Then she runs outside and plays some more. She and Kenji are having fun together. I can tell he is happy to have a playmate again. He misses Aiko (who passed away recently.)
Two Huskies are a lot of energy. They wrestle and horseplay quite a bit. They run around the yard and tear up anything left laying around. Saki thinks everything is meant for her to chew on, especially David’s shoes, her harness, and anything stuffed. She’s a good girl and I can tell she is going to be a loyal, wonderful dog for our family. But it is going to be a slow challenge to get her there.
Saki after playing in the mud.Kenji and his new little sister Saki.
I am trying to learn to keep a positive mindset when all around me feels as though it is crumbling to ashes. That used to be easy for me. People criticized me as being too much of a Pollyanna, who was a character from an old movie who always tried to keep her focus on the positives. People who seem to hold disdain for the upbeat nature of the little girl forget a key theme in the film. Pollyanna maintained this attitude despite having lost both of her parents, having to move in with an aunt she did not know, and enduring unkindness from many people in her little life. She continued looking for the good in people through it all, even people no one else was willing to give the benefit of the doubt. Near the end, she becomes paralyzed and loses the mental fortitude to keep herself positive. She gives up and no longer wants to live through any more struggle. Then all the people whose lives she has touched come back and lift her up by reminding her of the amazing effect she has had on them and the entire community. Their strengthening renews her conviction to stay positive and seek medical help for her paralysis.
I am not dealing with paralysis. Everyone in my life currently is doing fairly well. My house hasn’t burned down. My pets are all ok right now. I have a job. My husband has a job. I have a roof over my head and food to eat. The temperature is comfortable in Texas right now. I am not living in a war zone. I have medical insurance and can get care if needed. I am losing weight and making improvements in my body day by day. I am not in a horrific amount of pain currently. I am ok. But I ache for the fact that people around me are suffering. I cry for the people who don’t have access to the same privileges and comforts that I have. I am saddened by the new laws and regulations that are being enacted in our government currently that will harm people who most need support like people with disabilities, minorities, immigrants, and the poor. How can I be positive and joyful and full of hope for the future when so many other people cannot?
Does optimism turn a blind eye to the suffering of our brothers and sisters, our friends and relatives, our neighbors and communities that are struggling? Does keeping my focus only on concepts of growth and peace and hope and positivity somehow negate their pain or make me less empathetic or out of touch with the reality everyone faces? This is a real struggle. And I do not have an answer that satisfies my conscience.
I would love feedback if anyone has grappled with this same concept and has suggestions.
rebekahjmarshall 